"I want to die. No, Im not sad. No logic. No explanation, No tears, No pity. Just a overwhelming ennui. A paralysing weariness. I cant go on. Not anymore. I have run so hard so long so alone. I am tired now. I want to rest. I cant wait for the show to end. I give up. Ill never catch up. Ill never make it, as big as I wanted to make it. And everything else seems to fade. Whats the use? Whats the point? Endlessly, Futilelt, struggling ... on & on forever after. Forever against the tide. And the tide is forever I."
- Ray W. Guelph, 1913
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