its going to rain.
the second day in a row
its going to rain very hard
maybe the thunder god took offense at all my complaining?

from where I sit, the huge, plate glass framed slot of the sky looks grey blue, with silvery white patches
once in a while u can hear a low growl of thunder
bit like how my big dog sounds when he is pissed
kidding ...
i know if i stepped outside, it will be cooler than it usually is in this inferno
the wind will be blowing
if i sit in my balcony at home
i will hear the crazy sea like sounds the vast never ending ish fredricksburgh rd stirrs up in the rains
my wind chimes will all of them by dancing in the wind
deluding themselves that they make up an orhestra
and the thunder, wil raise a sleepy growl every once in a while to compete or silence impertinent competition
and i wud sit there, in my little house and thiink crazy thots

i remember a long ago poem i had written - that started "thoughts, how errant thoughts run in dissaray"
well, there would be some wild colourful dissaray :)

then the rain would start in earnest and add another dimension to the sound
small, sweet gentle
and the world go suddenly wet and soft and clean and gentle

and then the lightning ...
i just saw one awesome splendid stroke of luck kind of strike outside office
its so beautiful the way these buildings are made
was stoddard temple built like this?
is this how the children who came there later to study felt?
such a view, such a view ...
its so beautiful

i wonder why i feel like crying
i wonder, why i feel like howling ... bawling my lungs out

Have u ever felt that life is rolling past, wasting away and theres something so imp u have to do, so many things to be thought about, so much to read, so much to understand, so much to Do,
And im not doing nothing at all
i stand here, as if paralysed by fear of the beginning and life rolls on gently by ...

I remember sharad today, and recall something he said
deep words of wisdom, though unconsciously spoken ;)

we were playing cards. and I kept losing
he kept getting angry with me bcz I was losing
and I kept making dumb xcuses like y dont u 3 play
and Im no good - I told u i cant and stuff like that

and he kept shouting at me - prero if u dont challenge people u will never win
dont just sit there like a statue - do something

i feel sometimes me life has become like that
and long list of reactions and defenses ...
only voluntary action I indulge in now and then is to run away ... run, prero run!
its running time again
this time where to
and this time who from?