i miss my time in uk so badly today
i always miss it but now even more than ever
it was one of the sweetest nicest times of my life
everything was so perfect
i miss the ariel & rowing and the races and the weekends full of practise & beer

i miss the way the city was ... quaint and sweet and half hundred years old & half ttally modern
i miss the shops, the accessibilty
i miss the work
i miss the friends
the many places to go to and things to do
the pub hopping - where u start from one end of town and have a drink at each putb till u reach the other ebnd
i miss the river
the bridge
the sunsets
the gulls
the trees
the weather
the people
my friends, roger, colleen, ani, taj ...
most of all i miss my little studio
it was so pretty
so so pretty
and so clean
somehow - however I slog this place never seems clean
i miss the cold
gawd how i miss the cold
miss the regular weekend long eat outs at my place
the lazy sunday mornings at tajs back garden with me and taj and anad and family
pr me and taj and chetan

miss the view from chetan balcomy
miss the way everything always seemed so wet and fresh and had a forever ish feel to it
everything seems so just sprung up and dry here
everyone I was friends with then has drifted away now - except taj & chetan of course
even they seem lost somehow
miss tesco's where everything was always so nice and everything seemed happy

miss having a movie hall 5 mins walk from home
and a sweet, deserted rose garden 10 mins inthe other direction, and the bus stop just across the road
miss the snow, the old people on the roads and the kids playing everywhere
miss the churches & the bells and the winds and the flowers
bno cactus there, we just ahad sweet flowers
miss going down to london, or bath or wherever everynow and then
miss having a life ....
spoke to jinx after ages
which always gets me happy and high
maybe its a hangover from all our tequila times
starnge that we seem to be doing turns with being onsite and offshore ... when he is here Im there and then i was in uk and he was there and then I was there and he was in trivandrum or god knows where and now Im here and he is there
anyway ... so is life :)

i had a nice lunch today ... minus the bhindi's from yesterday - which incidentally were a big hit
last night I went out to a karaoke joint
it was noisy and great fun

wudve been funner if ...

i got the blues again
nothing feels the same
i got the blues again
and every comfort seems lame
im down the memory lane
or playing tomorrow games
today seems empty somehow
like a bridge thats waiting to be crossed
like a bridge that has 2b crossed
like a bridge thats ever so long
im tired of the bridge
i wanna jet down to tomrrow
or roll back to yesterday

sitting at home with nothing to do

lazy saturday evening

friend / colleague / neighbor calls

what about u make dinner for us for a change

very well then

before my kitchen drowns in rust

and before I throw out my weekly rottenvegchucklot

let me domesticate once again

its gonna be bong style mooshur daal bhindi and bhaat

so i boiled the daal

put the rice on the back burner

and Im making the bhindi

and simultaneously heating the oil to chhouk the daal

one point to mention, Im on call this weekend, so I have to answer the phone hi priority

so Im juggling my attentions betw the heating oil and the frying bhindi

at tnis brahmo-muhurto the phone rings in the bedroom

so I sprint out to take the call

just hangingup when I hear the smoke alarm

i think to myself the oil must be smoking something bad and stroll back to the kitchen

as soon as I come near, what do I see ...

the bloody pan is up in flames, high enough to burn the smoke hood!

no problemo ... I pick up the pan and put it under the tap ... Im not panicked yet

as I sopon find out, WRONG THING TO DO ... totally WRONG THING TO DO

(whenever I have a ImcoolImundercontrol brainwave i usually do the wrong thing)

the flames go up like dantes inferno and go climbing up the wall and through the hole in the wall and into the other room and burn my bloody post its

im still not panicked

what do I do, I cover the whole mess with my chopping board

good idea, flames going down, then I realise ... the board is made off plastic

even I know, plastic burns ...

so now I panic

but luckily nothing happened

flames go out just then

chopping board is scorched but I guess it was ina kind mood so it didnt really catch fire

im let off with slightly burned hands (wont need to wax my right nad for a while) and a little burned on my face and a nice smokey grey pattern on my wall

hmmmmmm ... good thing I dont have wallpaper!

nothing happened after that

coolly proceeded with the dinner

friends came

we ate

then we went and saw HULK

which was definitely the worse experience of the 2!!!

spoke to buro after i know not how many years
it was nice
it was great
it was wonderful

ok, and intro
this a one of my closest friends, rajiv
he is really really old
but he's quite a dude
he is originally a "family friend" - which means our dads were mates in college
i probably should say we go back to when I was 2 and he was 10 and we went for a trip to daarj, all the families
and he kept asking my mom if he could try flushing me down the pot ...
but she said no ... she's so sweet
he also baby sat me for hours when the grownups were busy

but actually we really got to know each other when I was in college and had gone to dubai on one of my annual visits to my dad
and this guy was living there, looking for a job or something
he used to work in bombay and was in la for a while, but something happened ... i think they threw him out bcz he listened to too much floyd :D
anyway, I have just got home from the airport and am on the phone reassuring my friend in pune that I have reached in one piece,
when he walks into the room and says hi
im like cant u see im on the bloody phone? aloud, I just say "hi - ur rajiv, right?" and go back to the phone
he disguises his ages pretty well so I dont realise how old he is ...
later when Iv had a belated word with my dad and walked into the guest room guiltily aware that the one I so non chalantly hailed a few moments ago was 10 years or so older than me. I was still young-ish so that felt a bit awkward

But I sat donw on the bed and we started talking
and what happened next was pure magic
no other words can explain it!
we 'talked' almost straight through 3 days or so
with a few short breaks for naps!
i have nevre talked so much & so willingly & enjoyable with anyone again, ever
in fact not even with the great Buro
when it was time to go, we both had tears in our eyes
and neither of us had a clue as to why!
then we wrote letters - long missives full of floyd and einsteins puzzles and crazy philosophy
i suppose most of what we talked about or shared would have made little sense to anyone else

so it is with these few people
strangers, misfits, nuts, aliens like me
adit, chatto, buro, malabi, brat, joy ... we are a bit "khiska" and we usually gaurd and hide all the nuttiness jealously inside and and bear tightfitting masks of normality which we relax only when we are with "our brethren" :)
"I know this seems like a devilish ploy But its one way to bring the proceedings to an end ...."

I did always believe that the songs that suddenly pop up in ur head are pulled up by our subconscious (hereby to be aka scon) bcz its trying to say something .... TO us or maybe just mumbling out loud???
what a glorious life!!!

slept through most of saturday
woke up at 4:30PM
dying of hunger by then, so gobbled down two aloo parathas
thats been my staple diet since I came to the us
aloo paratha's
they come in pkts
u just defrost them and heat them in the pan and HOG.
they are horrible, but ...

anyway, I finished ORDCHID THIEF atlast
thank god!
i have never sat with a book for so long
i guess maybe bcz its non fiction u can speed read through it

no Im dying for a nice silly georgette heyer
or a agatha christie or something
but I have to finish dangerous summer (hemmingway)
and return both to thelibrary before they put me in jail

then I have a half read bengali book which everyone was very excited about
bcz I was reading bong atlast but I lost heart half way throughmy valiant efforts and quit
and I have to finish that as well
its Somoresh Mojumdar, Garbo dhaarini
Its about a revolution planned by 4 college kids, each frustrated with life and society
for diff reasons. 2 rich kids with weird parents and 2 poor kids with helpless parents :)

when I first came here, I was miserable bcz I was missing home
id just come back from the uk
not been home for even 2 months
when I was off again for here

but I made a really nice friend
and things cheered up
and I settle down and everything was great

but then now, the friend has gone back home
and I barely know a living being here
and everything is getting fucked up so badly
Everything ... work, personal life, everything
i feel like running away and going back home
though Im not really "homesick" as such
in fact I Dont like it at home for very long and will take another on site posting as soon as I hit base

sometimes I wonder, what if I get hooked to this whole nomadic lifestyle scene ...
god knows Im half way there

but I miss bristol
we had a big group there
lots of aquaintances
i had my rowing
and friends from their
and I went to the gym and had some friends there
now I dont do anything and know no one
and it sucks ...
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

La la la la . . .

I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

La la la la . . .

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

What mirror where?

Who can that attractive girl be?

Which? What? Where? Whom?

Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming--
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her--
She's the one who is in an advanced
State of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat,
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her --
Send for Chino!
This is not the Maria
We know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

I feel dizzy
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

What mirror where?

Who can that attractive girl be?

Which? What? Where? Whom?

Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
...Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.The
river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the
basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the
rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by

Norman MacLean

Roads Go Ever On, J R R Tolkien

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon, East of the sun.
"it was a deep stormy night
u slept through that night, peaceful
i watched you

i never saw you, hadnt known you for very long
but I knew u were so small & vulnerable
I could feel you

dont know who you are, dont know how you are
lone star in the dark of the night, sweeter by far
than anything I ever deserved

u came to me for love & safety
i knew that much, yet i drove you away
i had too

now it hurts so much to think of you and all the joy we could have had, together
I will hold this pain forever
I'll never forget you

lone star in the dark of the night,
sweeter by far than anyone anywhere.
sweet child, sweet smile,
big big brown eyes.
gentle and soft,
trusting & lost.
home and safe a night before,
now lost and wandering for evermore.
gone forever, only to remain
in my heart, as a bittersweet pain.
i feel like being shockingly rude and impolite to someone ... really
its a very strong and sudden urge
what 2 do !!!
Im like this only :)
"if i threw away,
my honour, my life,
my heart, my child,
to bargain for a few days,
of ur love
And if that love was but make believe,
A figment of my dreams
But made possible by a soft light once I saw in ur eyes.

If we played the game,
like two grand masters,
A shadow dance in the still of the night.
Dodging and attacking, again, and again,
To end entrapped and enmeshed,
In stalemate

If I lose it all,
for one trip,
to heaven wrapt in ur strong arms.
and in the end remain,
floating like a drop of sweat on ur soft skin.
If I lose it all,
to die out in the end,
a glorious resplendent, shining death,

tell me,
such an end,
would it not be,
a bargain my friend?"

"It is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory, nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt
if i could live my life again

all over from the start

would i not make the same mistakes

play safer with my heart

if i could live my life again,

would i have never met you?

that could never be. its worth the pain

its all that makes life beautiful ... even if its over in a minute or two ...
in search of a thicker skin - been meaning to write something on this for long - will do soon - this will stand a reminder
i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!
Finding Nemo ... Id been hearing So much about it
and I was so convinced Id never get to see it bcz the people I go with dont like "cartoon type" movies
but I begged / I pleaded / I cajoled .. and guess what ... they liked it too ... THO he wouldnt admit it :)
but I dont wanna gloat - its enuff that I saw it!
"I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than fade away"
it was the unhappeninsgestest day of my life ... nothing happened ... ie nothing nice happened

after a long time I had some work

so I was shuttling between the intranet that we are supposed to be developing and testing in the lab for the new crm release and job abends building a pkg for my dll and cursing my boss and trying to build the webpage that my boss asked me to AND strange and critical user problems (by cob) ... blimeywhaddaday!

had to call rajesh to wish him happy birthday

first I got the time calculation wrong and called him in the middle of a meeting ...

then I called my dad by mistake and blasted his ears "happy birthday kiddo" before he could grouch his usual hellllllo

Then I called ... the right number, the right time ... bang on time ... and whaddyuknow ... it goes straight to Voice Mail!

notmydaytodayjustshudnthavegottenoutofbed ...

came home and 6 and popped of to the land of oz

woke up at 9

now lets see how the rest goes .. i gotto get out in the world and see if anyone will by kind and feed me dinner :)

went to a friends to eat raajma & rice

we then watched half of save the last dance for me & whole of legally blond

it was cute and funny actually

On my way back, there was a really nice breeze blowing and I didnt feel like going indoors just yet

so I went by to the pool and hung out there for a long long time

it was reallydeserted

around 23:30

and this house next to the pool has this awesome set of wind chimes

its huge and rings only when theres a very strong breeze blowing

it makes a Deep, low, heavy sound

today there was a strong breeze blowing

it sounds like munals (my sister) bhutanese bells

... thats another long story

basically our last big trip was driving bhutan / darj ... and munal fell in love with these monastary in paro

she would wake up every morning real early and walk all the way there to hear the bells

a "connection" ...

well she's a piscean :)

anyway, I digress ...

there was a strong wind blowing

and the place was surrounded by trees

and they were all moving in the breeze

and the wind made a funny sound going over the tennis courts right behind

and next to me the whirlpool / jacuzzi / whatever gurgled away

and the sky was so clear

a dark neon blue

a there were so many stars out

and for a moment I forgot everything and just remembered those last few fractions of time

beautiful night

heart stoppingingly beautiful

makes me think that beautiful can never be in just one dimension

its so much blended into one package

the time, the place, the sounds, the sights ...
interesting weekend on the whole

saw3 movies

good medium bad

alex and kate / confidence / down with love

slept most of it away

read a lot

ate some awesome homemade chicken.

at home.

thought a lot. like about whether I should take cable or not.

missed my first driving class

and then slept some more.

chatted with kid sister

she's apparently in love at last!

this time its rap (what next!)

eminem a.k.a marshal mathers

never heard of him before

got told of for being totally antique

and was summararily dismissed ...

spoke to dad

he's on a walkalot program

hes walking 5 kms a day

or I should say hes Back to walking 5kms a day

cz all our life we have been hearing about how when He was in school he has to Walk 5 kms a day to get there everyday

since I heard a lot of complains from both about ma

i didnt speak to ma cz Im sure she will have the adequate number of rejoinders and I didnt fancy having to sit thru the lot on International :)
what did I tell ... Im getting oraclular!
i went to IHOP and then saw a movie ... sweet funny ... "alex & kate" - very sweet & quite funny
did a load of shopping - birght red capri pants - nice striped work shirt - little black top and some other stuff
On Wenlock Edge

On Wenlock Edge the wood's in trouble;
His forest fleece the Wrekin heaves;
The gale, it plies the saplings double,
And thick on Severn snow the leaves.

'Twould blow like this through holt and hangar
When Uricon the city stood;
'Tis the old wind in the old anger,
But then it threshed another wood.

Then, 'twas before my time, the Roman
At yonder heaving hill would stare;
The blood that warms an English yeoman,
The thoughts that hurt him, they were there.

There, like the wind through woods in riot,
Through him the gale of life blew high;
The tree of man was never quiet--
Then 'twas the Roman, now 'tis I.

The gale, it plies the saplings double;
It blows so hard, 'twill soon be gone.
Today the Roman and his trouble
Are ashes under Uricon.

A.E. Housman (1859-1936)
today was really nice ... after a long time

i got a lot of mails / phone calls / zonks ... happy :)

hogged a lot all day ... 3 tazzo chais (consider - its a half day for us on friday) and one big breakfast & spanish "mixture" / chanachur

now I got 2 and a half days offfff .. gonna finish orchid thief and start on the new hemmingway, clean up my home page, and kazaa like mad and Ill go to IHOP tonite

thats one of my new pets ... I love IHOP

i really must get a tv ... but thing is I know I wont do anything else at all eversince


had gone to wal mart day before

deep in the night (okay - it was only 11:30) - but deep enough

it was so different ... different nice

people moving around were different. the looks on their faces were different and the sales people also seemed different

then we came out and I saw a most breath taking sight ...

slung way low on the hips of a deep dull cerulean sky was the most gorgeous gem of a moon

not full, but almost there

darker than Ive ever seen it before, it was almost ochre yellow

mottled like clotted cream

rich, glowing gold

and I thought to myself ... this is the perfect kind of sky for a desert ... there should have been a rolling desert below this ... with panting camels in hot chase ... and shrieks of bedouin heros filling the air ...

wish I could have hung around to watch the sunset but I had to run back home just then

ever thought about it? theres a kind of an see saw rythm to life

up again down again up again and so we go ....

i think im coimng out of the blues

just passed thru one of my benchmark gloomy sulky dismal patches

tho i tried not too let it show too much - except of course to my crib boards ... jinx / ma / munal / chatts

ever tried being bright and chirpy and a little giddy-dumb when u got these really profound dark gruesome thoughts running thru ur head ... its kind of fun in a twisted way
ya - so Im in a major reminiscing mood today

full of flshback and remember whens

its strange, but I cant remember peoples faces

that is not to say that I would not recognise my friends when I meet them

but, the closer I get to them the less the chances of my being able to conjure up a vision whe they are away from me ...

I remember people by their expressions - one fleeting look - but very typical - somehow it stays in ur mind like a echo

And the texture of their voices, and the tone in which they speak

And usually I have a particular sentence or phrase stuck to their each person in my mind

Like when I remember Munal ... I can just hear her say "like it makes a diff to my life" ... totally disgusted ... totally garfield

and chatts is always "how corny ... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez" - all weltersmersh

and sohini is "Prrrrrrrrrrrrero!!!" like a rolling frenchie

and Pills would say - "bolna ... sachhi???" like a small kid

and Adit is like "helllllo??? I mean ..." shock

and Nilesh is "what was that again?" or "and why, pray are we going thru this exercise ..."

and rajesh is like "hello! are you serious"

and jish is "WHAT the Hell is going on around here!"

and joy is "shotti ..."

and ma is .... "mamoon ... othoooooooooooooo .............. PORBE NA"!!!!! or "tomaar shohur eshe electricity bill debe - cant u stay without the ac for sometime!!!LOL

hah hah ... I know its gonna sound crazy to anyone who is reading this bcz I cant really paint teh expressions with words but its so fresh in my mind ... the exact flavours of the sound ... could not resist it

some days back got a sms from a Nilesh "first real rain in cal today"

made me homesick like fresh lurch in my soul

first rain in cal

the smell of the dust

the crazy winds ... wet and cool ... evening onwards

drumming throbbing rain all night

people running - off the roads and under what shelter can be found here and there

southern avenue flooded

i miss cal so much, I must have been crazy to leave it again so soon :)
isnnt it nutty how u suddenly miss someone ... out of the blue ...
im missing sohini the chinki ....
does anyone remember Chinki the Pixie in "adventures of the wishing chair" :)

not so strange after all
its her birthday 2mrw isnt it ...

or maybe I miss a phase of life ... how nice everything was in college
fresh & fun & what-the-hell-does-it-matter-anyway kinds

we had such great times
sitting on her chhat and watching people downstairs & bitching about them
or sitting on the steps in the train and being mistaken for a guy & a girl romancing
or the way she would suddenly go Prrrerro ... u remind me of a doggy!

i wish at times that yesterday was a place
and I could make a little trip ... laugh a little, smile a little but then come back to today again

I miss poornima too ... she was one of the nicest kids I ever knew
and her mamaji's house (or the laddu's their) ... WOW

the film institute ... the haunt ... the adda


mg road ... the blind trumpet player under the broken down bridge in front of osho's

feel like taking a trip down to Pune

Sohini -called me a funny funny girl today
i remember when ma had come over and we were at shoinis flat and someone said something or she called me funny
then she remembered ma was there
and she said I mean funny funny not funny funny

ma found that really funny
got my zonkbaord in at last and it was Zonked ... wow :) what fun!
This will migrate to the pink page at some point in the future ...

do u know the feeling when u miss someone so much for one sudden second

... like ur nose caught a familiar whiff in the air and pulled ur soul

homewards ... for one short second ur heart

feels a sharp contraction and u miss them so, so much you just want to stop right there on the road and howl ...

but life, like rat, keeps pulling you ahead imperiously, never giving you a second to stop.


bunked office half day on monday and talked with jinx instead

small slices of heaven on earth

portable, mobile, virtual home-for-the-soul

rain in the desert

hyena laughing once again

leg pulling

delicious bitching cribbing and ego boosting ....

thats what best friends are made of :)


back to the grind

9 hours of devising new ways of time pass

53 trips to the loo / water fountain / starbucks

6 "trips" around the building ...


1 totally frustrating hour at the intranet meeting

and the hi lite ... called sohini and pretended it was an official call

it went like "hello - this is p-r-e-r-o-n-a (who-the-fuck-is-that!!!) - I believe I received a call from you ... prero - is that you yes ma'am when the hell u getting ur ass here to pittsburgh yes ma'am Im looking into it ...


made the whole day worth it :)


once again Im at my comp at 2:35 AM
cant sleep
but i really really should
got to go to work tomorrow

FRIDAY was beautiful
i think i will remember it as one of the most beautiful days of my life
the drive was so nice and the car was so sweet
and the music was so awesome
and the weather ..... wow!
i love thunderstorms. something about driving in the rain fascinates me
i went to houston once before
but it didnt strike me as so poignant then
mabe it wasnt raining
and storming
and lightning'ing

the buildings all around came alive
tall polished glass mirrors
reflecting a sky gone wild
glowing blue - suffused with spreading pink stains
torn apart by random swords of light
and crack of sound
and all reflected in every direction by those beautiful tall standing giants

then we went to IHOP
my favourite joint
makes me feel good everytime
and once again in the middle of the night for coffee

SATURDAY was the exam
nice place - the company where we had the exam
bmc sw
really cool joint
wont write about the exam at all bcz it was a bouncer after the other ... urgh! yuck! gross!
Ill fail but I wont give it again
too much man. not my stuff
why the fcuk was I doing this anyway!

nice ride back afterwards
stopped for a meal just when I was about to collapse
nice joint
nice burger
sourdough something

came back and collapsed into bed
so tired
woke up
went for a movie
hollywood homicide
tech problems 5 secs from the end
gave us passes for one more show free
good deal, Id say
it had gotten to a stage where the heros are in a car chase with the willains
we all know what happens next dont we now ;)

SUNDAY was ... dunno
spent the whole day doing nothing and waiting for something to happen and switching between kidding myself damn happy and depths despondancy
have you ever felt alone
seriously seriously alone
no ... neither have I ... its was okay
nice book
kept stuffing my face
lovely sweet georgette heyer
great book for the time of my life a great practical romance :)

met sunil and kamlesh & muni where they were moving house
and shifted a few odds and ends with them
got a new sofa as reward
came back and slept
woke up and went to star bucks and walmart
ate dinner at taco cabana
talked to chiruda and rahul on the phone (not rahul bhaiya - another rahul - new friend - jolly nice guy)
called up a few more people but no one was home / free
everyone else has a life I guess :)

then came back. went for a swim
it was beautiful
deep velvet night
stars and drifting clouds
floating on my back and watching the stars
listen to the gurgling sounds from the jacuzzi next to the pool
pretending myself away to a tropical jungle ...

then came back home and chatted with ma
sms'd baba
couldnt get thru to him

then went to bed with orlean and "orchid thief"
thot I made good time - 12:30
be fresh as a posy for work tomorrow
and here I am ...3:30 and no luck yet

now Im off to try again ...
Now I don't wanna lose you,
but I don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
and I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay

And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
this is crazy
its yuck horrible GROSS
Im going to Flunk thisdumb exam!
"Im not going to dissapear just because I make some people uncomfortable"
"Im more scared of NOT doing this thing than doing it"
quotes for the night ...

"can and will"

"there r 2 kinds of thieves. Those who steal to enrich their lives and those who steal to define it. Dont ever be the latter"

"I trust everybody. Its the devil inside them that I dont trust"

"everyone loses a couple. There are only two things to do ... either you pack up and go home ... or you keep bloody fightit to the finish"

"you dont waste a whole life bcz it got knocked up a little bit ... "

coming attractions I really wanna see ... sea biscuit, down with love and another one I forgot the name of :)
either do and be contented,
or dont and be at peace.
the worst thing you could do is to do and keep regretting ....

Bunked studies for an evening and saw Italian job
Awesome! I really quite liked it.

Dinner at IHOP ... my fav joint in san antonio
Ate a decent steak after ... how long???

The most amazing thing happened today ... Jish had introduced me to a friend of his called Rahul
I was talking to this guy over phone and suddenly he says wait talk to this friend of mine ...

and whaddoyouknow ... its this old old friend of mine from rotaract ... great stuff
nice talking to a known voice
this song should have been in 4 weddings ...
another love-tag movie
My Old Favourite .... refound .... GOD BLESS KAZAA!
Isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around
One who can't move
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines;
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear,
I thought that you'd want what I want,
Sorry my dear
But where are the clowns
There ought to be clowns
Quick send in the clowns

What a surprise!
Who could foresee
I'd come to feel about you
What you felt about me?
Why only now when I see
That you've drifted away?
What a surprise...
What a cliche'...

Isn't it rich, isn't it queer
Losing my timing this late in my career
And where are the clowns
Quick send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.
make that 4 ... I hit 4 AM
big spurs match
wild party upstairs till 3:30
called 911 ... only thing that came out of That was a 15 mind pause. Quite like I had died and they "observed a moments silence" or something
this gets pissing off-er and pissing off-er ... Im beginning to feel like the chinaman above holly dl's apt

anyway ... I studied till 4 last night and sitting through a Killer day at work
with assorted problems like dlls that refuse to get registered bcz they are not binary compatible ... (yuck! how would I know I had to set something right at the beginning ... Im a plain jane mainframe kid, no?) and abending jobs with tape positioning errors ... my brains are totally scrambled
brilliant! Another whopper of a day ....

i used to be sad bcz I cud not find my usual ristretto anywhere here but now I discovered a new love at starbucks ... 3ple shot espresso on the rocks ... Its Groooooovy Baby :)

Was up till 2:30 last night again - that makes it 2 nights in a row of sleeping at 3 after one night of being up allnight ... well so much for early birds

I have a feeling Im gonna fluck this bloody exam in spite of all that ... jeez what stuff man!
Quality is a journey not a destination ... and the destination is customer satisfaction ... BULL & CRAP ... but however much I studty thats all I remember ... for the rest my head is just a mad jumble of headings - Cust gap / Prod Gap / CMM ? Bald F Ridge ... waaaaaaaaaah - God save me from the CSQA
woke up at 12
studying for that blasted exam till 3
ate lunch
then I had promised a friend who is fast approaching harakiri time (he getting married necxt month)
that I would take him shopping for a few things he wanted 2 buy for madame
he ended up winding up in 50 bucks or so
BUT I BLEW UP not just my whole evening but 180 bloody bucks!
anyway - no regrets - nice stuff
awesome beige shoes - seven floor high heels
nice brown shirt - simple - mannish cut - in crushed suede ... so soft you feel like going to sleep in it :)
and a very conservative office shirt in green and white
and a nice little t shirt ... cute
and here comes the worst part - i picked up this awesome set of make up from channel
nice - very nice - but Frightfully expensive

If I go on like this Ill be back in broke land again

Saw Gangs Of New York
Great Fast Bloody Gruesome ... Interesting
For a review - check out my review blog ................ eeeeeeeeeeeeenjoY!