Another boring day in the life & times of archie andrews the Great rolls to and end
I just know that if I come back and read this a few months later its gonna sound like the phoniest crap in the world
So Im gonna stick to the "I ate one orange ice cream" kind of diary here ... or so I resolve every time I start a new Journal :)
I went running yesterday after years & years
It was 11 at night ... very exciting
Then sat for a few moments on the roadside bench ... watching the cars zoom past ... feeling quite aamir khan-ish
After that I came back & felt too bloody hungry so I gobbled up 1 maggie ... which defeats both purposes of the new regime ... ie: two lose weight & tire myself to sleep

Actually, I always sleep early
Early in the morning, ie ;)
The nightly trials of the eternal insomniac
(toss - turn - curse - repeat ) * infinity

Today was a nice day
Woke up late
Burnt the last nice white shirt (accidentally... ofcourse!)
Whiled away my time at work
Got called by a user for some weird RTE messege
Mysterious & God like I fixed it (CTL ALT DEL ... works every time)
Received my 1000 blessings
Whiled my time till 5 PM
Pretended to watch some jcl "happening" on the spool
Opened and shut Visual Studio
Repeat till 5PM... came home
read / slept
Kamlesh came over & kindly cooked in my house & Dada came over and we all gloriously stuffed our faces!
Then he even took us for a ride & treated me to Mountain Dew (specially selected in memory of my lost friend ...)

The bank, for some inexplicable reason, has taken another 6 dollars from my account ... so now Im worth just 2 dollars all in all .. I havent seen SUCH bad days in a long time! Though that didnt stop us making plans for Niagra in the coming long weekend , Of Course!

One Mondays All Things Are Forgiven ....
Another sunday, another weekend slipped slowly out of the fingers of time.
Lazy sunday afternoons ...

That particular sequence of words always always brings to mind my secret poem which starts like that & most of the times it makes me smile.
I browsed till the sun said hello, last night & then slept till 12 this morning
Went to the public library and got myself got a membership finally
Now I feel like Im a true resident here
Found a science book & some georgette heyers & a spanish book. What more could a woman want :)
Hmmmm .... well!

Came back. Felt hungry. Nothing to eat in the house. Not unless you count stuff you actually have to Cook! Like Daal Chawaal.
No money to buy anything. So I ate some bacon & potatoes & cheese. Which was great. Except that I wish there had been some more.
And slept till Kams woke me up at 7 with an invitation for tea.
After tea we went to office to return JP's "Godel, Escher, Bach"
Then went for a long aimless beautiful lazy drive full of reminiscence, for me
During which we got lost (roadwise) once and got lost (down our respective memory lanes) several times

Its been a week since life shut down here
One crazy - empty - silent - lonely - blank - waiting week
One down. About 15 more to go?

But then Ive always liked solitude
It gives you space
It gives you room for thought

Maybe thats why I came here
Every once in a while my senses are cloyed with too much love & affection
And I long to be alone, or the next best thing - be where no one knows me at all.

Is that why I came here?
Maybe I just came here running away from something, something I was scared to face?
What? And how far can I run?
Whats the use anyway.

Somewhere some important part of me is lost, out of reach
Set free, to walk alone on the vast huge earth
My Friend, My soul-fragment, My Dear Friend
You, I miss!

When the body leaves, walking out into the Sun
The shadow, left behind, hesitates
Then quivers, one last time
And dying dissapears. Into thedark bowels of death from whence all shadows come
To stay there dormant, till the Sun returns.
Till he returns ...
Hitting 4 AM on a Saturday Night (?). No fever ... just pitless boredom ...
I got a mail from Baba today ...
I chatted with Bharat after quite a while & Adit after a century & Vani after a few weeks
Nothing changes ... everyone is just the same. Everything is just the same.
Adit is still "I want to but I cant"
Bharat is still ... Bharat
And Vani is still as Sweet & Crazy
Im reading a crazy book I wacked off JP's desk ... its Godel, Escher, Bach ... Hofstadter
Im still broke ... at 8 dollars

Life is getting more aimless & crazy & play it by the ear every Year, every day
What the hell am I doing here?
Running away from phantoms I should have the courage to stand upto now ... atleast now
And stepping into deeper blogs everyday ...

Im lost again ...
Another dead end
Im scared again
And its never gonna mend
Looking for my running shoes
They here just a moment ago ...
I cant go back ... Gotto go on ... Who knows maybe it will get better after a while?