Madcap Calling

For a while, I had forgotten you. When you came knocking at my window last night, you made me jump. Yes, I had forgotten all about you, for a while. Isnt it strange how strong this bond is? Though I was never yours, and you were never mine. Yet, we always knew, you and I, there was something unknown pulling us to eachother. I flirted with you, but stayed at the edges. I could no less resist the deep, dark force of that attraction, than I could let go of the ledge of my world, at whose very edge I crouched. I hung on, for all I was worth. When you came too close, I closed my eyes to hide. When you went too far, I came after you again. And we danced.

I'm sorry. It must have been such a terrible thing to do; but I was scared of you. I watched fascinated, every star you plucked, every life you lived, every form you took. Each dizzyingly bright, heartbreakingly dark. I watched, breathless, as you swung them and up and you danced. The dizzying heights. The lurching swings. The bravery, The greatness, The heroism, The Scale, The mastery ... and in the end they gave in to you, almost all. (All but him. How he fought! You still scrape ur chalk on his window, while I watch, but he keeps fighting on) You flew them to the skies, made the whole world change, while you held their hands, but they never come back again. Almost all.

So spectacular, the visions, the sounds, the dreams; yet I was scared to let go of the simple, the normal, the ordinary. My little life. Maybe a little faded and dull, maybe a small, maybe boring, day in day out, maybe laced with regret, as I kissed my pillow goodnight, but my own, safe and simple life.

I never got closer to you than that. To gasp at you dancing with your latest bright star. And a part of me wished I could go along, on the magic carpet ride, like a child, kneeling at a window looking out at the magic silver snow, on a indigo night; but I was scared of the dark.

I'm reading her again. That was the best song. You whispered in my ears, that stones to wings, and you flew her through the skies; painting clouds with the ink around her eyes, which you wiped. And I know I'll listen to him tonight. His picture's here, is right by my side. Red and Blue and Purple; With the guitars, locked doors, and black ringed eyes. When the music was over, did you turn out the lights?

Yet, you never let me go completely. Every now and then you're back; at night. You stay a few days and go away again. And every now and then I see you smile; behind my eyes. And I at night I'm torn between the fear that you'll come calling me and that you'll never come for me again.

No comments:

Post a Comment