dementia is back

Q: why did he do this - it was so unnecessary
A: bcz thats the way he is. if u were him and in his shoes u would have done the same ... probably

Q: why do I keep fucking up
A: bcz I cant learn to keep with my type

Q: what my type
A: people who have fucked up & missed all the buses theer were and know it and can laugh about it hysterically. screwed up people. with messed up childhoods. 'losers' who dont give a shit about the game. "this is what I am and fuck you if you cant understand it"

Observation - in 28 years I have had come across only two guys - who liked me - independantly. they hurt me more than any of the guys I liked who didnt give a shit about me. people who like you are so cruel. people who dont give a shit r so much kinder

Q: why am I so pathalogocally obsessed with what other people think of me
A: bcz Im a "wannabe goodie" - a bad person disguised as good person - paranoid that the brilliant disguise will fall apart any minute

Q: why do I keep fucking up at work
A: same reason I fucked up at school. obsess with everything that doesnt matter and forget that this all there really is

Q: am I demented
A: yes

Q: is there hope
A: NO WAY!!!! and the fact that Im laughing at this proves it!!!

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