listening to ...
Everyone who needs a friend
Every life that has no end
Every knee not ready to bend
Is falling, falling at your feet
I've come crawling, now I'm falling at your feet
and madcap laughs

Ive paused, Ive frozen, what can I say ... where have I lost myself. I miss me, that used to be, so much that it hurts
I cant even cry ... the tears are frozen too. I am amber ... in the glittering beads in a big smooth palm ... frozen in this moment of time ... the butterfly trapped in the amber that paused ... today it owes its entire existence to the very same thing that crushes and imprisons it ... forever ... it will never escape

But I drove so far today ... lol ... by my stds! took the car to a mechanic. full office return traffic :) gawd I was so nervous .... and I remembered what jinx said and started laughing. dec is so far away ...