lifes like that

she pulls me down
she makes me cry

she laughs at me
she makes me laugh with her

she holds my hand
as she makes me tumble

she keeps me moving
even when i cant get up, anymore

she is stands by my bed while i toss and turn
through the darkest storms of the night

she hides surprises
at every corner

she pulls me out, maddeningly
of my crazy races that i crazily run ...
with myself
she pulls me aside and while my heart still races
she talks to my mind,
and she teaches me some more
always more

sometimes i hate her. cant wait for it to be over
sometimes I love her. cant get enough.

lifes like that you see.


and another fear
more secret, moregaurded
at 9, i thought you the coolest, most grownup, suavest, bond' in the world
at 29, i suspect that you, underneath ur cool, smooth exterior, are perhaps as soft as i can sometimes be

and it seems that ive loved u a lifetime ...

that you wont , actually, run away when i cry
that i wont have to keep laughing always - even when i hate to
and the fear is finding out im wrong ...

i laugh. i clown about. i make people laugh
but i cry too. i cry a lot. and its usually scary for people to watch
cz there no way they can reach me - i have withdrawn and the shutters have fallen
boom crash bang ... shut tight in place
with a vacant look in front
or a shallow smile
which does who know never trust
i cry sometimes for no reason
like i laugh sometimes, for no reason
or i cry bcz a sunrise is so beautiful
or a moment so sweet
or a feeling so immense
or life is splendrous

i wanted to cry that night
in ur eyes
when u smiled and said
why u looking so intense

i wanted to cry bcz i saw the end of the moment approaching
and i wanted it to last
for a lifetime

because i have come so gfar
because i am so tired

because i love you so much

i may have never loved very well
been very good at loving

my cold, hard, seeking, searching, eagles heart ... to fixed on the horizon
to glued to the road - to stop, to be soft, to listen

but in that moment i loved you

enough for an eternity