flying

im working in shifts now. 7AM to 2PM. Killer. Because as usual me the insomniac cant sleep early enough. Then I have this quirk ... I cant just get up and come to work. I need some all-by-myself time in the morning. ill read, and laze and listen to music and be grouchy in peace and have my first 3 of the day then I get up and start to get ready to leave.

last night i had a strange dream ... i was flying. it was dark. and cold. and silver ...
and the ocean moved below
and i flew through the air
alone
above the seas,
and the sleeping, twinkling towns
and the gaurding mountains tall
i flew


listening to Queen after a long time

You say you love me
And I hardly know your name
And if I say I love you in the candlelight
There's no one but myself to blame
But there's something inside
That's turning my mind away
Oh how I could love you
If I could let you stay

It's late - but I'm bleeding deep inside
It's late - is it just my sickly pride?
Too late - even now the feeling seems to steal away
So late - though I'm crying I can't help but hear you say
It's late it's late it's late
But not too late




following rahuls analogy, if you are terrified ofdriving, but darent admit it - would you,
subconsciously or consciously, always buy cars which you know you wont be able to drive easily?
isnt that terrible - a waste of the car (s)?

if someone gifts u a car which is just right for you,
would you panic and cut off ur arms?

does everyone have to drive? what if ur fear is real? what if u really dont have it in u to drive?
what if u saw ur whole family die - on the spot - in a car crash ...
would you ever overcome your fear of driving?

what if u really like the car - its a very good car - and u screw it up?
what if u bump into someone and kill them?
what if u start out by car but then its wonderful weather and you want to stop, or walk ...
why cant we use cabs all the time? expensive? ownership? or just face-ur-fears training?
why do you feel compelled to peer into ur deepest fears and see what they are made out of?
why does all the analysis and the realisation fly out of the window when the moment comes?