faith

and old poem I found on my site - i dont remember when i wrote it or why ...

"somehow it all went astray,
but whats another dream broken?
in a life turned night of nightmares
this was just an infant still
this star that briefly appeared
on the horizon dark dismal
went up in splendrous bright sparks
in a shower fallen
to a puddle on the floor
and dried,
like a sticky trail of tears on ur face
invisible to everyone
but you who can feel the stickines still"

today turned arond
bumped into yesterday

couldnt look her in the eye
and still keep straight face

marathon spring cleaning over the weekend. my favourite kind of cozy 'tucked into my room' type weekend. gallons of old old old letters, diaries, cards, concert tickets, KY mem'lia and what not!

its so hard to believe we wrote and said all those things ... it was sweet, funny, cute, touching. i was laughing and crying all at once.

so many lists ... a HHPB checklist - wont write what that is - but it was very funny. no wonder it was never met! dogs, kids and bungee jumping .... crossed with brecht and archer ... kk and floyd and ravi-shankar and hemanta ... and then ghalib too ... too much! guess i have a us & them problem. I cant trust us and i cant get along with them.


a friend, a very dear friend, is getting engaged. mixed feelings. how many married friends do you have. not that aquaintance friends - but real friend. not people u hang out with, but real friends. people change after they pair up ... Juls, Sauce ... ??? anyway - its for the best. Im happy. Im really happy.

song in my head - a blast from the past ... heard it in the car next to me - stuck in jam while driving to work this morning

"i know all the games u play,
cz I play them too.
need some time off from that emotion ... "