in the pouring rain

for many nights have I dreamed this dream
for many days have I cried for this
for many years have I waited for this ...

its raining. in cal. and im home. alone. i know it will pass. but while it lasts ... its madeinheaven (it was all meant to be).

its been a while. so it feels strange. im happy. like he said, im trying to live for myself. &^%# the world. when u try to keep people happy - it never really works. they are never happy ... tehy are happy with you only as long as u listen to them. the min u do one single thing that they dont like - u become a villain forever ... and they forget everything u have ever done for them. they never stop towonder about or try to understand why u do things. they just see what you do.

to keep calm and to forget. thats the key. its morning. the night is over. let it go. its raining. again. and i'm home.

home is being with everything thats comfortable. home is no more worrying, translating, censoring, pretending. home is what u have grown up to. home is farenheit. home is being able to vocalise ... any crap - just for fun, or just to make a point - and secure in the knowledge that if u say something u dont mean then the walls on which r words fall know u well enough to know ur talking crap.