from outside, looking in

i rarely go to anyones blog anymore. my net time is too limited. but i went to his yesterday. i wanted to show pong what he writes. its amazing how well he writes. his pictures, his poems, his words, his songs everything amazes me. i wonder how he is in real life.

thats something cool about this cyber life. you read what all these people write, everyday. and you have no clue, who they are, what they are like, what they like ... but you form this fixed image in your head ... mira's a momma angel, anu is my dearest forever-weary friend, diya reminds me of my kid sister, poly is a brat, jill is a darling, fgs is an angel ... but we really know nothing about them, do we? we just see one tiny aspect, one face of so many that each person has and like the blind men and the elephant, we draw our conclusions

but then, is real life any different? no. its just the same. i was talking to my dad about this just now. thats the best part about the dubai vacations. always. the early morning chats - all 4 of us - before falling asleep over our whiskey on the rocks and the room full of smoke ... we are such a madcap family. and i love it.

coming back, we never know. what people really are like. or we dont want to know. its like a library. when we join a very big library, we get hooked on to one section wherevere we find a few books we know and love. and we seldon bother the explore the whole library. thats why we often feel that have rediscovered someone we knew for ages ... but in our blindness we dont recognise this rediscovery for what it is. instead, we say they have changed, or we feel betrayed, or let down. but in all probabality, what we see is something that was always there. we just didnt chose to see it till now.

and does the same thing not apply to ourselves. are we not as blind and as blindly confident in our understanding of ourselves, as well as others. i, for one, dont know myself at all. everyday I discover something new about myself. its fascinating. when I was younger I too thought that I am changing, evolving everyday ... but now I feel, perhaps I am just on an everlasting journey of self discovery. and perhaps thats all Im here for. and perhaps its not such a bad thing, this self obsession.