Peace

After a long time
I'm home alone
There's noone in the house
or on the phone

I sit down
Next to the window
With one chair for u empty
And close my eyes to see you

In the semi darkness
I reach out one hand to hold yours
I can feel the texture I remember
As your hand closes over mine

Everynight, when I went to sleep
For the first dozen or so years,
of my life
You held my hand as I drifted into dreams

Yes. I feel the sharp stab again
Its a physical clench
It passes down my left arm
And I clench my fist

In the balled up palm
I feel the soft cotton of your gown
Like everytime before,
I clutch it as I fall

Now, the pain flows
In a glowing acid ball
to the pitt of my stomach
I double up, on the floor

As I fall I see your smile before me
As I go I see you come back
This is all I have left of you
Distractions, from this, take you again

From the recesses of my head
Echo our voices still
Me calling out ur name:
My first words

Its peace now. Like when Im with you
I put on one light and look at you
You smile, happy next to him
I hate him. Bcz he's there I'm not

Now its almost time
The world's gone once round the sun
At the right second, when the stars are just in place
I'll summon the snake

Without your giant body
Which I grew up to
Without our liquid eyes
In which I saw the world
Without your massive hands
In which mine, tiny, were lost
Still, I'll be with you
Or atleast, no more without