Until you see ur just like me

The Calcutta trip snaps are up at flickr. The broadband has been set up. The 'friends', Saheli, going home tomorrow, for good, Subhalakshmi and Sandeepa have been fed and sent home, the house displayed, questions answered (ur mom and sister r so pretty & tall - yeah barbie ;)), plants named, dishes washed. I'm still up, listening to Out of Reach ... I never had your heart.

I get tired, once in a while, of being the person I want to be: mature and professional, mainly, dont talk so much, dont laugh so loud, dont be too friendly (good working relationships) but I just cant be like that, I think. Anyway,who cares. Running billing is driving me to tears of frustration ... and I ran something on a wrong date which means I have to do everything over ... key in new test cases, age them, restest. damn. I miss the days when microsoft releases and PComm's weirdness and figuring out delphi were my only worries. bliss. i hate application programming of all kinds.

Listening to Unforgiven now. Miss Barbie tonight. And wondering about someone. Where are you now? What were you thinking? Why do you look so gloomy these days. I wish I could make it better. I hate to see you blue. Actually, I hate to see anyone blue. Wish human relations and communications were simpler. Wish we could say what we meant, what we were thinking, wanting, dreaming about, but it never works that way.

I'm tired. At so many levels. Its raining outside. There are wet winds sweeping the city I seem to have fallen so surreptiously in love with. Cold and wet, its curling up into itself, with a puzzled, surprised, sulky cloud hanging over its head. I go to bed, wrapped up, the window open to the city, with a Prayer that the sun will warm it tomorrow.

Originally Posted at Prerona.

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