all set up

i have joined the library! so i feel normal and settled now. all i need is a cellphone :)

i have internet access here, so hopefully now i should be able to update my blog regularly, do the blogroll AND check my hotmail atleast once a week

its a beautiful cold saturday. i like the cold. its a welcome change specially now - cz things are really heating up at work!

today is lilacs birthday ... Happy Birthday Lilac

Also birthday of two dear friends - Brat and Asmita ... 24th and 25th. Dunno if I will be able to reach them but just in case u read this a very Happy Birthday to you!

There was a time when i couldnt imagine missing a close friends Birthday. but now i often do it. there was a time when i used to be so excited about birthdays ... my own or anyone elses ... but i guess as the years wear on ... they become less and less imp to all of us.

But on ur birthday 2 of u i wish i could have spoken to you. but i couldnt get near a phone. hope it was wonderful. hope the new year brings you EVERYTHING u may wish for and make you very very happy. Mita - wish u a little wisdom ... may you grow up atleast a little bit :) brat - happiness and may u not keep growing so "buddha" and serious. and lots of love and laughter

My own birthday is now just too months away. A horrible year is almost at its end. probably the nastiest of my life in some ways. surprisingly sweet in others. what will the next bring? old age!

I have made two mamoth decisions recently. both will change the world as i know it. feel a little scared. was strangely scared and thoughtful and a little sad yesterday. one of those days when u wish there was a friend near at hand. to sit quietly with, sharing silence and comfort. dunno what i was scared of though. i get those moods onec in a while. the world seems so big. life seems so long. and i, tiny and alone. but after all the rain last night the skies are clear and sunny today. and im as illogically happy as i was illogically sad.

This morning I heard an old favourite song blaring in a cafe as i walked down the road. joni mitchell ...
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.

on days like this i wanna stay at home and watch "love actually" or "four weddings and funeral" "hi fidelity" or "when harry met sally". and laugh and cry and be happy and sentimental all day long