dementia returns

when I look back on my life
sometimes I wonder how I survived so far ... and remained sane!
sane ... what sane! who sane! how sane ... r u insane!!!
ab bas bahut ho gaya ... come back for a bit now lady luck ... pretty pls
what am I gonna do? life is so ... stuck!
everybody needs some body to love
everybody wants some body to love
u better find some body to love
but its hard to find some body to love ...

life is so confusing ... whats real whats not ... whats dirty whats fun ... whats achievement - whats just a gamescore
im so ... atka ... Im not getting anywhere - ive become so old ... how long will I go one like this! I realised with a shock that day ... its been 6 years now - and I havent even started! Im not even moving! SIX F YEARS! i gotto rush. i gotto make things happen. somehow. anyhow. dunno ... "kya kya na socha tha maine ... kya kya na sapne sajaaye ..." kuchh nehi ho raha hai! arre ho ga ho ga bachhi ... be patient - one step at a time ... like baba says - life is a long distance race - he who lasts the longest wins ... gotto hang on in there ... khaali sapne dekhne se koi aaj tak bara aadmi nehi bana ... kaam karo ... mehnat karo ... himmat karo ... papaar belo ... ;)

i wanna learn how to play the violin.
i wanna bungee jump
i wanna go to germany
i wanna buy a house
i wanna have a lab(rador)
i wanna learn how to cook (properly)
i wanna go somewhere alone - for a holiday

and many more things too real & personal for the blog ...
unformed / unshaped / blind desires which Im still trying to shape and lead
u just have this vague feeling that ur headed for somewhere bigtime
but u dont know where or how ur gonna get there ...

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