what do you do in the last 5 months of life? theres a lot of stuff i had wanted to do in life, on this world or in this time-space-frame ... whatever it is ... but 5 or 6 months is too little time to do any of them.
i dont want to be bitter about it. I am dying. Its sad, but there are sadder things. it could be so much worse. as it is i've had 30 odd years which in hindsight, seem just perfect! i wouldnt change a second.
in some strange way, the actual reality has not sunk in ... that in a few months everything will be over. literally everything. how can it? i cant even conceive of it! its still the blackouts that seem more scary to me! the dying ... thats too big to register!
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