up and away

almost there now - my leaving day
theres so much work its driving me nuts
i havent even begun to clean the house
still have some accounts to disable
and some issues to resolve
dont know how everything will get done!

feels horrible to be leaving .... as always
its ironic ... when I didnt know anyone here
and when I was bored and sad and lonely
and wanted to leave all the time,
i couldnt leave then
and now that I have so many friends
and I was having fun, its leaving time

i need a dip in the waters of lethe
im just beinning to think about my next assignment
how when where ....
i wanna come back somewhere here - nearabouts
but that will be touch

the very thought of going back to teh cal office
and facing the big M
the thought of going home
meeting everyone, staying home
the same old crap - everyday
again ... its a pain
but you cant run away forever, i guess

and its only for a short while, hopefully
they wont keep me there forever ...
but how long will I go on like this?
is this what I want for all time?
while I was here - for so long, I had the time and opportunity to do something about it
change course
but I didnt do anything at all
how much of it was laziness and how much fear of a different way of life than I am used to

i must think and do something ... fast
time runs out

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