so this it! sdont know what will happen now. back in the bog. and so soon. i was hopeful till the end. i thought it would be okay. but nothing is ever okay for me - is it. back to the fucking bench - for atleast two months! at work and in life. everytime things get a little better - it blows up in my face. at the beginning of this blog - I wrote - I have a friend who is leaving me and it feels like a body is leaving a shadow and the sun is sinking