Hold On

i try to hold on
but time slips out of my fingers
like the edge of a precipice,
over a vast chasm, that i am hanging from
everything that logic drones on in my ears
i know, i have heard them a hundred times before
but what do i tell the tears that swell and tumble that heart that races and slows and growing heavier
sinks into my gut, where i hold it sucked in in fear
time passes, slips out of my hands
there is no forever
to have to turn away,
was pre determined
but its been such a short respite
and now out in the cold again
we come marked with our destinies
we must be grateful for our blessings
i had you to love
though you always fooled me
i had a few scattered stolen months
across 3 decades, with spirits of blood
there were moments when she loved me like her own
there were times when he held my hand
there were friends and laughter, however fleeting
though later the mocked me, the laughter lived on
and money, that atleast
i made and held, atleast that was mine
and words i learned and spun,
though meanings they drew none
and places i saw, though they all looked the same
and another orphaned, begger boy i saw
drifting like flotsam along the world
grateful, for each merci however small
thats how life teaches
thats how we learn