cold enough to snow

its cold! so cold ...

rowing was cancelled today. inspite of the race next week? cz the canal is frozen!
the leaves on the road are frosted with ice. i walked to the net shop feeling brave in my cotton tshirt and then i saw a guy in shorts. isnt it a crazy world ...

romeo said my greatest love that springs from my greatest hate ... so much in life feels like that at times as we sway between the two twins of love and hate and wonder ... is there any difference between them after all. i like writing on the blog. but i dont like people i dont like reading it and sending me questionable mails dripping sweet affection and tender loving care. few things more irritating than people u dont like being sweet to you and you having to grit your teeth and be sweet to them in return

its michelle's birthday. i dont know where she has dissapeared and where she is now but whereever you are michelle ... i hope you have a great birthday and a wonderful year ahead! i loved being friends with you and having you around while you were around. miss ur sharp comments and funny jokes and a lot more besides. Happy birthday Mich.

listening to higher love on the radio. its been ages since i heard that. the season, the cold, and everyone being home is coming together to make go mad missing home. or rather it makes me think of home oftener ...

home. a wintery cal. late nights singalongs at someplace with jinx. sharma's in the cold. bonfires on ballygunge circular road. a pre echo to the flames of dawn. parties. picnics. victoria in the early morning. book fair. the terrace at night. my pangla and pengli. sauce and chatts and ad. baba and ma. looking in on us as they left for their party ... all dressed up looking drop dead beautiful. weeks of excitement as people plan what they'll wear for new years. endless dancing. glittering clothes. breakfast at flury's. imagine if we were all home! always ...

thats the what I want. i want to live in a place like this. where theres ma & papa, and mummy and baba, and rahul bhaiya, adit, chatts and sauce ... everyone. live at home. with all my books and my movies and my music around me. music playing all day long. and me and my book all alone with my pots and pots of coffee all night. and may shouting from her room cz the coffee machine made a noise. or i dropped something looking for leftovers in the fridge. 3am is a hungry time. bokrakkhosh. bero ranna ghor theke. shaara raat khut khaat kore.

i found this online looking up "it is such a secret place, the land of tears" (the little prince), and maybe it was my mind frame at that moment ... but i was struck by them.

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig
And then suddenly he turns on you
With a miniature machine gun
--Matt Groening


Whoever fights monsters should see to it
That in the process he does not become a monster
And when you look long into the abyss
The abyss also looks into you
--Nietzsche

The wonderful quality that literature has...
To give immortality to those special souls
That make a difference
--Maribel "Lunacy" Piloto

We would fly from sin in terror if we knew its nature
But it presents itself as a most desirable thing
--Oswald Chambers

Qui custodiet ipsos custodes
(Who will guard the guardians themselves?)
--Juvenal

The right to be heard does not include
The right to be taken seriously
--Hubert H. Humphrey

a flashback. i was thinking of this post last night ... night ships in the mist