its a kind of restlessness. a consciousness of something, when ur not
even sure of what. can u feel it in ur bones when the times are changing?
its an inward swirling current. in calm, stillwaters. its the kind of a
calm where you can feel the emptyness like a hollow in ur soul, the
stillness like graveyard
u cant sit still. u cant concentrate. u feel hungry, thirsty, tired all day long.
ur mad at urself & everyone that gets anywhere too near is caught in the
line of fire. im an emotional diabetic at the best of times, but when im irritated,
the sweeter someone is the more it irritates me.
i get flashes in the back of my mind. winter sunshine. the first cool breeze of the year.
the first drop of rain. the smell. my room. my bed. the window. the windchimes. tupi.
roast chicken. the ma-smell. barbs jumping around ... saying aa-aa-aami aami
bolchhilaam ... we both stammer when we r xcited ... ma on the phone, baba leaning
on air, on the floor with dunhill and black label in the air ...
and on my music system ...
Out here in the fields
I fought for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven
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