i was never crazy on my own ...
you're the kaleidescope maker
you're the juggler
you're the sweetest thing
you're the best i've ever seen
it's a thrill
it's a wonderfull feeling
it's not because of you
it's because of how you make me feel
it's sweet ...
but i'm diabetic
i still dont like a tease
and i still am to lazy to pretend
you make me short of breath,
and i have still miles to run ...
summer's setting
it's autumn's dusk
evening's sober
get out the little black masks
take away evil thrills, though they might enchant
i have greater worlds to win. tonight's my time to dance
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
words games
As the time rushes by
like wind in my face,
and sand through my hands,
childlike again,
i try to pluck out from it
a few words, to stay mine
but how do you catch something so fey?
Looking through this emptiness,
holding my throbbing pain pressed still in my hand to calm,
desperate for distraction,
holding on the the last pieces of the corpse I still carry,
or struggle to ... because it has grown intwined with my sanity
i wonder if time has come to let go the ghost
The wet winds and silver skies
Underlined thunder, and the promise of soft rain
Makes me miss something,
or someone,
Or maybe just makes me miss missing someone
But who? Could it be you? Wish I knew.
I wouldnt dare miss you ...
Not with my kind of longing
(having still not learned half measures)
Wanting you, would come at such a price
And everyone knows I am broke
(having nothing left to give, or break, anymore)
Well, anyway
So I hold the "missing" in the palm of my hand,
gently, like a snowflake
And wait for it to melt.
It will pass, wont it?
The scary intensity of this moment?
You will go away, wont you?
I will be free again, wont I?
Because you disarm me and make me feel uncomfortable powerless
Anyway, so I crack a joke and turn away
Such a coward? No I'm just a realist
Save face. Dont rock anything. walk away.
Close the door very gently, so the lock doesnt click
Oh, yes. I leave room for my indecision
Always play safe (atleast, for yourself)
Fleetingly, looking through the emptiness (desperately seeking distraction) becomes looking for you.
Startled, my heart contracts
with a frission of fear.
Who are you?
Who is that I thought I saw for a moment inside you?,
Who is that you hide?
He looks like me!
Or like someone I know so well, from so long ago,
That I'd get him mixed up with me.
Can you let him out to play? Can I take him away? Just for a while?
like wind in my face,
and sand through my hands,
childlike again,
i try to pluck out from it
a few words, to stay mine
but how do you catch something so fey?
Looking through this emptiness,
holding my throbbing pain pressed still in my hand to calm,
desperate for distraction,
holding on the the last pieces of the corpse I still carry,
or struggle to ... because it has grown intwined with my sanity
i wonder if time has come to let go the ghost
The wet winds and silver skies
Underlined thunder, and the promise of soft rain
Makes me miss something,
or someone,
Or maybe just makes me miss missing someone
But who? Could it be you? Wish I knew.
I wouldnt dare miss you ...
Not with my kind of longing
(having still not learned half measures)
Wanting you, would come at such a price
And everyone knows I am broke
(having nothing left to give, or break, anymore)
Well, anyway
So I hold the "missing" in the palm of my hand,
gently, like a snowflake
And wait for it to melt.
It will pass, wont it?
The scary intensity of this moment?
You will go away, wont you?
I will be free again, wont I?
Because you disarm me and make me feel uncomfortable powerless
Anyway, so I crack a joke and turn away
Such a coward? No I'm just a realist
Save face. Dont rock anything. walk away.
Close the door very gently, so the lock doesnt click
Oh, yes. I leave room for my indecision
Always play safe (atleast, for yourself)
Fleetingly, looking through the emptiness (desperately seeking distraction) becomes looking for you.
Startled, my heart contracts
with a frission of fear.
Who are you?
Who is that I thought I saw for a moment inside you?,
Who is that you hide?
He looks like me!
Or like someone I know so well, from so long ago,
That I'd get him mixed up with me.
Can you let him out to play? Can I take him away? Just for a while?
homesick blues
amaar paara, amaar ghor
amaar apon, amaar por
amaar joto kaachher lok
amaar dukkho, amaar shukh
amaar bachha, amaar boro,
shobai bodhai bhulei gelo!
amaar kukur, amaar haash
graamer baari, bhindi chaash!
bhor obdi chhat-er thek
alo elei amaar lake
laak-er paashe tomaar baari
haathte haathte eshe pori
amaader shei oboshor
kobe holo eto por
amaar ma, amaar bon
aar praaner bondhu: dujon
khaali paye chhute jawa
amaar parar pukhkawalla
dhum kore nam-e brishti
ma bolto jeno amaar raag :)
shomoy toh shob phuriye gelo
shob i kothay haariye gelo
abaar kobe baari jaabo?
abaar kothay baari jaabo ...
rasta kothay haariye gelo
por apon, apon por
yes, i kind of lost enthu at the end!
homesickness, making me mad.
and the madness of knowing
that there's a shelf-life on those little silver strings
that stretch out between body and soul (One, remember?),
when you first leave 'home'.
this time, the home-coming was the most serendipitous,
and the turning out heartbreaking-est.
(bahut be aabroo hokar ... ;))
Love
I sing alone, for an audience of one
This, is my deepest blood
I cut you my deepest blood
A token, a gesture, an offering
This is what I propose: everything, for everything
Will you strike a deal?
I feel gauche and naiive
Because I've never felt like this before
For this much, thank you
But for any less, no thanks
I'm sorry, the mistake was mine
An honest mistake
As always, I am absent minded
Sometimes, often, I just forget
This, is my deepest blood
I cut you my deepest blood
A token, a gesture, an offering
This is what I propose: everything, for everything
Will you strike a deal?
I feel gauche and naiive
Because I've never felt like this before
For this much, thank you
But for any less, no thanks
I'm sorry, the mistake was mine
An honest mistake
As always, I am absent minded
Sometimes, often, I just forget
A Poem for You
it's not one whole sunny day
but bits and pieces are really bright
it's cold in the shade,
but whenever the sun finds you it warms you
dreams, joys and hopes
come true and brighten up the days
in bits and pieces
though not whole
in the beginning i had drafted specs
and submitted it to life
i had thought of everything
that i could possibly want
and everything i could do without
life laughed. i sulked
but still, it gives me something every day
enough to be happy for the day on.
somethings we try to forget, or get out off
everything is like a habit, like smoking or drinking
you detox. and stay clean for a long time. even years.
then one day you get a whiff of what it was like
maybe someone standing next to you at a bus stop
cigerette in hand, blowing smoke in your face
just that much, is enough to send you reeling.
like riding a bike, it all comes back
and you have to get used to it all over again.
and you did'nt even smoke first hand. what a shame.
strange, the things that stay back
an echo of laughter haunts a deserted hotel room
some textures stain your hands,
busy as the day chatters on,
it the stains float in the background
and words. strange words stay embedded
in strange moments
the most stunning lillies came by post
they were so beautiful
it broke my heart to think how short lived they were
everything is so ephemereal
sometimes it makes me angry with flowers
you took me totally by surprise
i was gaurding the door
i didnt think of the window
or the ventilators
and like in the song
thoughts of you keep sneaking back in
from strange gaps in the fortress
here and there
you become, the happy ghost
the ghost who haunts me
That doesnt really say it, though
Does it?
What could I say ...
Are there words?
I am left
behind you. in a trail of jetlag
word-bereft
but bits and pieces are really bright
it's cold in the shade,
but whenever the sun finds you it warms you
dreams, joys and hopes
come true and brighten up the days
in bits and pieces
though not whole
in the beginning i had drafted specs
and submitted it to life
i had thought of everything
that i could possibly want
and everything i could do without
life laughed. i sulked
but still, it gives me something every day
enough to be happy for the day on.
somethings we try to forget, or get out off
everything is like a habit, like smoking or drinking
you detox. and stay clean for a long time. even years.
then one day you get a whiff of what it was like
maybe someone standing next to you at a bus stop
cigerette in hand, blowing smoke in your face
just that much, is enough to send you reeling.
like riding a bike, it all comes back
and you have to get used to it all over again.
and you did'nt even smoke first hand. what a shame.
strange, the things that stay back
an echo of laughter haunts a deserted hotel room
some textures stain your hands,
busy as the day chatters on,
it the stains float in the background
and words. strange words stay embedded
in strange moments
the most stunning lillies came by post
they were so beautiful
it broke my heart to think how short lived they were
everything is so ephemereal
sometimes it makes me angry with flowers
you took me totally by surprise
i was gaurding the door
i didnt think of the window
or the ventilators
and like in the song
thoughts of you keep sneaking back in
from strange gaps in the fortress
here and there
you become, the happy ghost
the ghost who haunts me
That doesnt really say it, though
Does it?
What could I say ...
Are there words?
I am left
behind you. in a trail of jetlag
word-bereft
Silver Beach
just before the end, you had said i owned you
still naiive, i had been outraged
are you stupid, or silly, or do you think i am?
in which case you really really must be!
before my, then legendary, temper flared,
i forgot to check the expiry date
the first time i saw you, i knew
as you rose, like the girl on the half-shell
out of a sea of men. i knew.
my time had come
my nemesis:
welcome.
now the deed is done
i'm a little proud of how graceful i fall
see, how neatly it conspires to be done?
no begging, bile, bitterness, or tears.
yet i make my gestures,
cur you my deepest blood.
now i draw the curtains of causal politeness.
a feather-handed touch.
and i wait for the poison to spread
here alone by the silver beach
where else would i have had it end?
life and death both beautiful.
there is no home, or i would have longed for it
my heart, in this too, was broken and scattered in the winds by time
and pieces fell in so many lands: each i love truely
but broken, none could i completely. maybe the fault was mine
in my lustful itchy gypsy feet. in roving nomad ambitious eyes.
never satisfied.
is this a sin, for those who aspire to strength?
dreaming of a completelness not found within?
of a something, i know not what
beyond the words, beyond the masks, beyond the games
but then what of the blue feather?
was that, then, just a dream?
still naiive, i had been outraged
are you stupid, or silly, or do you think i am?
in which case you really really must be!
before my, then legendary, temper flared,
i forgot to check the expiry date
the first time i saw you, i knew
as you rose, like the girl on the half-shell
out of a sea of men. i knew.
my time had come
my nemesis:
welcome.
now the deed is done
i'm a little proud of how graceful i fall
see, how neatly it conspires to be done?
no begging, bile, bitterness, or tears.
yet i make my gestures,
cur you my deepest blood.
now i draw the curtains of causal politeness.
a feather-handed touch.
and i wait for the poison to spread
here alone by the silver beach
where else would i have had it end?
life and death both beautiful.
there is no home, or i would have longed for it
my heart, in this too, was broken and scattered in the winds by time
and pieces fell in so many lands: each i love truely
but broken, none could i completely. maybe the fault was mine
in my lustful itchy gypsy feet. in roving nomad ambitious eyes.
never satisfied.
is this a sin, for those who aspire to strength?
dreaming of a completelness not found within?
of a something, i know not what
beyond the words, beyond the masks, beyond the games
but then what of the blue feather?
was that, then, just a dream?
pandora's box
Time, fades the knowledge,
The fear, the remembreance of how potent
The power of the dark,
Thoughts and feelings
Were on your heart
Careless, you turn to the dark and dusty corner
Half forgotten, open the box
Rummage, pull in one bright piece of a memory
Share, and laugh.
Then later,
At night,
When the guests have gone
And, you, alone with your ghosts
The unmentionables,
You wrestle with the memories
And the tears
And you know you wont let them win
But a part of you, weak traitor,
half wishes you could
Do you?
Do you really wish you could let go, just once
Let the day fall heedless around
Let the world dissolve
In the light of an aging sun
While wallow inside the trunk
Of old memories
Yesterdays. Selves. Now gone.
Ghosts, and skeletons
packed, any old how,
shoved into corners
Of carefully concealed corners
Along attic walls
For tonight, these are the memories I found:
chameleon master of trickery masks
Dusk to Dawn
Open Invitation
The Haunting
Black
The fear, the remembreance of how potent
The power of the dark,
Thoughts and feelings
Were on your heart
Careless, you turn to the dark and dusty corner
Half forgotten, open the box
Rummage, pull in one bright piece of a memory
Share, and laugh.
Then later,
At night,
When the guests have gone
And, you, alone with your ghosts
The unmentionables,
You wrestle with the memories
And the tears
And you know you wont let them win
But a part of you, weak traitor,
half wishes you could
Do you?
Do you really wish you could let go, just once
Let the day fall heedless around
Let the world dissolve
In the light of an aging sun
While wallow inside the trunk
Of old memories
Yesterdays. Selves. Now gone.
Ghosts, and skeletons
packed, any old how,
shoved into corners
Of carefully concealed corners
Along attic walls
For tonight, these are the memories I found:
chameleon master of trickery masks
Dusk to Dawn
Open Invitation
The Haunting
Black
arthurs seat in the morning
following my bliss, i landed up hear
heaven must be a place like this
sun is warm on my back
the wind swims in my hair
around me the mountains soar
my arms stained green with grass blood
beneath me, you are solid as a rock
on you, i could float my wildest dreams
together, we could reach the skies
show them how life could be lived
my beautiful. my grand. my city gorgeous
your old cobbled streets, your sudden mountains
silver lakes, tucked into corners ...
yes, you are a mad god's dream
i could'nt even stop staring at you. spellbound. dont release me.
edinburgh, you'll never know how much you mean to me.
heaven must be a place like this
sun is warm on my back
the wind swims in my hair
around me the mountains soar
my arms stained green with grass blood
beneath me, you are solid as a rock
on you, i could float my wildest dreams
together, we could reach the skies
show them how life could be lived
my beautiful. my grand. my city gorgeous
your old cobbled streets, your sudden mountains
silver lakes, tucked into corners ...
yes, you are a mad god's dream
i could'nt even stop staring at you. spellbound. dont release me.
edinburgh, you'll never know how much you mean to me.
you
I ask my tears as I watch them fall, who are you called?
I watch my self of salt dissolve.
Where are you? I am still still untaught.
And I'm still a little girl.
Yes I know
So punishment?
then open skin
and take back your bloody blood.
I watch my self of salt dissolve.
Where are you? I am still still untaught.
And I'm still a little girl.
Yes I know
So punishment?
then open skin
and take back your bloody blood.
quietly by the water
the beast is a quiet desperation.
secret, silent, stealthy.
you are opaque.
a cage.
inside, he paces restless.
he screams, hurls himself on the wall.
outside is a pool.
quiet. mirrored.
once in a while, a wave shakes the surface.
could be the wind. perhaps? then all is calm.
words are ripples on the water.
twin edged. disguised.
the flowers on the water's edge
are learning to pretend. pretty masks of paper and wood.
on the other side of the mountain, is unreachable,
now. a yesterday. a way of life. gone.
inside the beasts heart is freezing
he hates your naiive little joys
make no mistake. the beast wants you dead.
the beast has no logic. he wants the world to end.
the sky is blue. the sun is warm
everything. so far away.
the ground is a bed. a bed of knives.
the knife is knowing what you want.
desire is wing broken bird.
a weaver. spins stupid dreams of love.
steel are the bars of the cage
rock hard impotence, made of fear.
ambition is a dream of freedom for the beast.
if the cage could be leaped, he could be calm and strong.
secret, silent, stealthy.
you are opaque.
a cage.
inside, he paces restless.
he screams, hurls himself on the wall.
outside is a pool.
quiet. mirrored.
once in a while, a wave shakes the surface.
could be the wind. perhaps? then all is calm.
words are ripples on the water.
twin edged. disguised.
the flowers on the water's edge
are learning to pretend. pretty masks of paper and wood.
on the other side of the mountain, is unreachable,
now. a yesterday. a way of life. gone.
inside the beasts heart is freezing
he hates your naiive little joys
make no mistake. the beast wants you dead.
the beast has no logic. he wants the world to end.
the sky is blue. the sun is warm
everything. so far away.
the ground is a bed. a bed of knives.
the knife is knowing what you want.
desire is wing broken bird.
a weaver. spins stupid dreams of love.
steel are the bars of the cage
rock hard impotence, made of fear.
ambition is a dream of freedom for the beast.
if the cage could be leaped, he could be calm and strong.
days
each day spills over unnoticed,
like the last few coins in a beggers purse.
the moon, the mountains, the wind, the sun,
nothing stirs the depths of oblivion.
there's a fine line between pain and numbness.
like the thin edge between acceptance and despair.
strange is lust for life. so beaten,
the hunger still doesnt abate.
a hundred winters have come and gone,
a hundred springs followed.
but still, the cold numbs fingertips.
knowing that it will pass, makes it no easier.
the river, that steals from a hundred banks,
still weeps when robbed by the ocean.
hours slip by unnoticed. dreams, hopes, passions,
spill unheeded like blood now lifeless.
outside, the wind howls.
strange choreography.
the moon, narrow and long, is a bittersweet smile.
the stars are dying: slowly, unnoticed.
another day is folded and put away.
carefully, slowly, lingeringly, let go.
bargains are struck and stuck to.
however dear the price.
faded daisies, crumbling dry,
carefully stored in notebooks. and big brown envelopes.
like the last few coins in a beggers purse.
the moon, the mountains, the wind, the sun,
nothing stirs the depths of oblivion.
there's a fine line between pain and numbness.
like the thin edge between acceptance and despair.
strange is lust for life. so beaten,
the hunger still doesnt abate.
a hundred winters have come and gone,
a hundred springs followed.
but still, the cold numbs fingertips.
knowing that it will pass, makes it no easier.
the river, that steals from a hundred banks,
still weeps when robbed by the ocean.
hours slip by unnoticed. dreams, hopes, passions,
spill unheeded like blood now lifeless.
outside, the wind howls.
strange choreography.
the moon, narrow and long, is a bittersweet smile.
the stars are dying: slowly, unnoticed.
another day is folded and put away.
carefully, slowly, lingeringly, let go.
bargains are struck and stuck to.
however dear the price.
faded daisies, crumbling dry,
carefully stored in notebooks. and big brown envelopes.
me
the trees in the park are blushing
the grounds are swept with petals of snow
a long winter is passing by
with a whisper of cracking ice
the river, at first shy
bereft of the burden it had half grown used to,
stripped naked, skin returned,
hesitates for a minute, then softly hums
in the fields, in purple and yellow
little flowers laze and soak the sun
a long winter is passing
a new day is coming
i changed my mind
excuse my temporary loss of reason
i am still the same
and still want full loaves
and voluntary contributions, at that
else i still know how to leave it
yes, that's probably all i can do well
though recently the treads on my trainers are wearing thin
even the one, can be forgotten
there are so many other places in the world
though, i'd always miss your special grey streets
and the burst of laughter unexpectedly
your contrasts. your contradictions. your madness
that reminded me of me ...
but walking your lanes, i realise
i dont need mirrors. i still have me.
thank you, spring. for the melting
i am so glad to be rediscovering ...
i dont need another best friend
at the end of the day, i have me.
the grounds are swept with petals of snow
a long winter is passing by
with a whisper of cracking ice
the river, at first shy
bereft of the burden it had half grown used to,
stripped naked, skin returned,
hesitates for a minute, then softly hums
in the fields, in purple and yellow
little flowers laze and soak the sun
a long winter is passing
a new day is coming
i changed my mind
excuse my temporary loss of reason
i am still the same
and still want full loaves
and voluntary contributions, at that
else i still know how to leave it
yes, that's probably all i can do well
though recently the treads on my trainers are wearing thin
even the one, can be forgotten
there are so many other places in the world
though, i'd always miss your special grey streets
and the burst of laughter unexpectedly
your contrasts. your contradictions. your madness
that reminded me of me ...
but walking your lanes, i realise
i dont need mirrors. i still have me.
thank you, spring. for the melting
i am so glad to be rediscovering ...
i dont need another best friend
at the end of the day, i have me.
word master WIP
to be completed ...
this time, its not about the words
this time the emotions
just come flood
lash at tightly shut teeth and fists and eyes
and rage and storm and whisper and tease
then give up and go away again
this time feelings are not caught, trapped, teased, taunted
and each wrenched to the very last syllable
this time, its not about the words brought
this time i am june.
trapped.
and here's my dostevsky
this time ur both cruel and soft,
like him, like her. and the banker.
this time, must pass soon
its good that u leave
or this time might be strong enough
to push me past the edge where i live
heartbreak, i have dealt with
i'll know how to handle that
just go. take the confusion
the swirl of hope and despair
this time, its not about the words
this time the emotions
just come flood
lash at tightly shut teeth and fists and eyes
and rage and storm and whisper and tease
then give up and go away again
this time feelings are not caught, trapped, teased, taunted
and each wrenched to the very last syllable
this time, its not about the words brought
this time i am june.
trapped.
and here's my dostevsky
this time ur both cruel and soft,
like him, like her. and the banker.
this time, must pass soon
its good that u leave
or this time might be strong enough
to push me past the edge where i live
heartbreak, i have dealt with
i'll know how to handle that
just go. take the confusion
the swirl of hope and despair
mist
missing steppenwolf (for mad men only) and aurangzeb at his father's bier (murdered voices beckon me?). and one scene from 4 weddings. After all these years, it still feels strange to be away from home just for this
not to be able to look up my books and movies when the itch strikes ;)
so maybe, this is what i miss ...
only madcap could help now
only madcap could do anything
make the air all around misty and dim
to let me see you once again
ofcourse, in the morning i myself would say
there are models of how it could happen this way
but in the moonlight, the moon you loved
i can close my eyes and dream of you again
madcap could help, madcap could help
madcap could make my dead walk again
somewhere inside pandora's box
your face, your voice, your touch your love
lost in a attic full of dust
madcap could bring you out again
and you were so beautiful
you skin albaster and pink, your eyes brown and grey
your eyes that loved so sincerely
that wed the eyes in the photograph that i burnt
you said they were heartbreakingly innocent
crumbling deceptive innocence that atlast fell that day
your ankles were so thing and delicate
speckled brown, turn charcoal grey
first thing i saw when i moved the red curtain
and took you out of the pot
i crushed you in my hands, once again
and shattered and scattered you away
to the bed of your gods,
to travel like you loved
maybe if i had sold them some more of soul
maybe prawns, maybe a road, maybe cities ...
maybe if i had negotiated better
we would still be together
but the bridge between us was so long and frail
roots to branches to leaves
now fall comes and leaves die dry drift away
only branches sway, over dead roots, giving away
i have made a treaty with the winds ...
they'll count my cost, but take the flower away
they'll count our costs,
the flower safe
you never saw how pretty it was
maybe it was too far away
so now they say its the only way
there's no tomorrow after today
but madcap doesnt come when called
you stand there calling, waiting till dawn
bereft, tear-dry, maddeningly sane
if at all, this be sane!
not to be able to look up my books and movies when the itch strikes ;)
so maybe, this is what i miss ...
only madcap could help now
only madcap could do anything
make the air all around misty and dim
to let me see you once again
ofcourse, in the morning i myself would say
there are models of how it could happen this way
but in the moonlight, the moon you loved
i can close my eyes and dream of you again
madcap could help, madcap could help
madcap could make my dead walk again
somewhere inside pandora's box
your face, your voice, your touch your love
lost in a attic full of dust
madcap could bring you out again
and you were so beautiful
you skin albaster and pink, your eyes brown and grey
your eyes that loved so sincerely
that wed the eyes in the photograph that i burnt
you said they were heartbreakingly innocent
crumbling deceptive innocence that atlast fell that day
your ankles were so thing and delicate
speckled brown, turn charcoal grey
first thing i saw when i moved the red curtain
and took you out of the pot
i crushed you in my hands, once again
and shattered and scattered you away
to the bed of your gods,
to travel like you loved
maybe if i had sold them some more of soul
maybe prawns, maybe a road, maybe cities ...
maybe if i had negotiated better
we would still be together
but the bridge between us was so long and frail
roots to branches to leaves
now fall comes and leaves die dry drift away
only branches sway, over dead roots, giving away
i have made a treaty with the winds ...
they'll count my cost, but take the flower away
they'll count our costs,
the flower safe
you never saw how pretty it was
maybe it was too far away
so now they say its the only way
there's no tomorrow after today
but madcap doesnt come when called
you stand there calling, waiting till dawn
bereft, tear-dry, maddeningly sane
if at all, this be sane!
fool for you
any other fool would know
i'm fool for loving you
any other fool could see
but not the fool thats me
if only we could love where loved
so much love lays wasted
why weave these long chains of fancies
each equally unrequited
i'm fool for loving you
any other fool could see
but not the fool thats me
if only we could love where loved
so much love lays wasted
why weave these long chains of fancies
each equally unrequited
time
like butterflies
words and feelings
float about
in the semi dark neon ness
uncatchable
invisible
except, for a blur
suddenly you realise
something small
has been woven into you
a fleeting feeling
that could have been but a dream
that you will never know
if you imagined
will wake you restless in the night
your heart full of fear and longing
seeing you,
could not have come better timed
and yet fear swells with anxiety
what will tomorrow bring?
what will the years unfold?
something small
has been woven into me ...
it will forever float about me
like a shroud
of a faintly undiscernible
smell
or a memory
or a flower
or a shroud
which is it to be?
what will time unfold?
words and feelings
float about
in the semi dark neon ness
uncatchable
invisible
except, for a blur
suddenly you realise
something small
has been woven into you
a fleeting feeling
that could have been but a dream
that you will never know
if you imagined
will wake you restless in the night
your heart full of fear and longing
seeing you,
could not have come better timed
and yet fear swells with anxiety
what will tomorrow bring?
what will the years unfold?
something small
has been woven into me ...
it will forever float about me
like a shroud
of a faintly undiscernible
smell
or a memory
or a flower
or a shroud
which is it to be?
what will time unfold?
Everywhere is You, You are in Everyone (misc random thoughts - school of divinity library, sanctuary)
ost - phish - silent in the morning
temptations
for a moment i was sorely tempted
i wanted to take your hand and say
just stay for a while
dont be so scared.
i wont ask for forever
a little scrap of your time
or your heart,
will last me a while
i wanted to hold on to you and cry
this time has broken.
even my stubborn heart.
i never felt like this before.
dont be scared for tomorrow.
i'll be gone before sunrise.
i'm more scarder than you are;
but stay tonight.
i need you, like i never knew
i could need before,
stay still for a moment,
or a night, or a few days.
hold me close, let me in
let me breathe your spirit in,
its so beautiful ...
ur perfection, defined.
let me warm my hands, in the light in your eyes.
i'm frozen from being outside.
stay still for a moment,
i'll be gone by daylight.
i'm not looking for forever.
just a little scrap of your time,
or your heart,
will last me a while.
i could have said all that
i would have said all that
if i only dared
if i only knew, if it wasnt just a lie
11.03.2007
i wanted to take your hand and say
just stay for a while
dont be so scared.
i wont ask for forever
a little scrap of your time
or your heart,
will last me a while
i wanted to hold on to you and cry
this time has broken.
even my stubborn heart.
i never felt like this before.
dont be scared for tomorrow.
i'll be gone before sunrise.
i'm more scarder than you are;
but stay tonight.
i need you, like i never knew
i could need before,
stay still for a moment,
or a night, or a few days.
hold me close, let me in
let me breathe your spirit in,
its so beautiful ...
ur perfection, defined.
let me warm my hands, in the light in your eyes.
i'm frozen from being outside.
stay still for a moment,
i'll be gone by daylight.
i'm not looking for forever.
just a little scrap of your time,
or your heart,
will last me a while.
i could have said all that
i would have said all that
if i only dared
if i only knew, if it wasnt just a lie
11.03.2007
gypsy boy
walking in the evening
i met a gypsy boy
he looked dreaming, happy
he looked kind of sad
so i smiled at him and he smiled back
and i asked him where he was at
this is what he said to me
as he smiled and answered back
he said, i'm standing at a point
where i have never been before
seen either side of the road
but never trappen in the middle before
and from this place and moment
i wouldnt know where to go
if this road goes nowhere
i dont know where i'll go
so i asked him if he'll come with me
come out from the cold
he shaked his head and smiled again
and he said he'd never leave
friends
funny how i never saw what you saw ...
thank god you pointed it out!
i was blinded by my most sacred alter.
or maybe even that was always self deception?
could it be for anyone so hard to learn
that your internal image of relating is essentially flawed
it's vital not to care too much. or to judge, target worth
three decades. is that too much to learn?
my little one. i have tried so hard to save you.
to hide you. to teach you. shelter you while you grow
but i need your help to make it, love.
if you keep coming out, they will keep doing this
now dont come to me with big torn eyes
dont sit before me staring at the blood that way
i had warned you, about perfect strangers
they're not like you. they're flawed in a different way.