A Poem for You

it's not one whole sunny day
but bits and pieces are really bright
it's cold in the shade,
but whenever the sun finds you it warms you
dreams, joys and hopes
come true and brighten up the days
in bits and pieces
though not whole

in the beginning i had drafted specs
and submitted it to life
i had thought of everything
that i could possibly want
and everything i could do without
life laughed. i sulked
but still, it gives me something every day
enough to be happy for the day on.

somethings we try to forget, or get out off
everything is like a habit, like smoking or drinking
you detox. and stay clean for a long time. even years.
then one day you get a whiff of what it was like
maybe someone standing next to you at a bus stop
cigerette in hand, blowing smoke in your face
just that much, is enough to send you reeling.
like riding a bike, it all comes back
and you have to get used to it all over again.
and you did'nt even smoke first hand. what a shame.

strange, the things that stay back
an echo of laughter haunts a deserted hotel room
some textures stain your hands,
busy as the day chatters on,
it the stains float in the background
and words. strange words stay embedded
in strange moments
the most stunning lillies came by post
they were so beautiful
it broke my heart to think how short lived they were
everything is so ephemereal
sometimes it makes me angry with flowers

you took me totally by surprise
i was gaurding the door
i didnt think of the window
or the ventilators
and like in the song
thoughts of you keep sneaking back in
from strange gaps in the fortress
here and there
you become, the happy ghost
the ghost who haunts me

That doesnt really say it, though
Does it?
What could I say ...
Are there words?
I am left
behind you. in a trail of jetlag
word-bereft