words games

As the time rushes by
like wind in my face,
and sand through my hands,
childlike again,
i try to pluck out from it
a few words, to stay mine

but how do you catch something so fey?

Looking through this emptiness,
holding my throbbing pain pressed still in my hand to calm,
desperate for distraction,
holding on the the last pieces of the corpse I still carry,
or struggle to ... because it has grown intwined with my sanity

i wonder if time has come to let go the ghost

The wet winds and silver skies
Underlined thunder, and the promise of soft rain
Makes me miss something,
or someone,
Or maybe just makes me miss missing someone

But who? Could it be you? Wish I knew.

I wouldnt dare miss you ...
Not with my kind of longing
(having still not learned half measures)
Wanting you, would come at such a price
And everyone knows I am broke
(having nothing left to give, or break, anymore)

Well, anyway

So I hold the "missing" in the palm of my hand,
gently, like a snowflake
And wait for it to melt.
It will pass, wont it?
The scary intensity of this moment?
You will go away, wont you?
I will be free again, wont I?

Because you disarm me and make me feel uncomfortable powerless

Anyway, so I crack a joke and turn away
Such a coward? No I'm just a realist
Save face. Dont rock anything. walk away.
Close the door very gently, so the lock doesnt click
Oh, yes. I leave room for my indecision
Always play safe (atleast, for yourself)

Fleetingly, looking through the emptiness (desperately seeking distraction) becomes looking for you.

Startled, my heart contracts
with a frission of fear.
Who are you?
Who is that I thought I saw for a moment inside you?,
Who is that you hide?
He looks like me!
Or like someone I know so well, from so long ago,
That I'd get him mixed up with me.

Can you let him out to play? Can I take him away? Just for a while?