Ive been offline for the last month ... I had chicken pox!!! Im recovered now but wont get time to write for a while yet, bcz so much piled up when i was down. also, im feeling a little 'off' from the blog. meaning for a while i dont feel like writing. i think i m a little unhappy with what i have been writing offlate.
primarily because, try as i might it gets personal - which is a big problem cz there are too many people who read it who i am friendly with but not personal with - which actually means everyone i know except 5 people. Somehow I am just not the kind of person who will be very revealing about myself. theres probably no one in the world who knows everything about me and there will never be. i cant conceive of being that close to anyone! and though i have gotten a lot of bitter abuse for it in the past, i dont see how my life, or my mind is anyone elses business. I dont think Im being a 'hypocrite' or deceitful if I dont sit down and tell everyone I know a whole inventory about myself!
anyway, I digress ... the second thing is that i found myself writing only when i am miserable or bitter and and it invariably comes through. and for as long as i have lived my miseries have gone round and round in circles around the same central theme ... whats the point tracing that same point in words as well. and theres a lot of anger and black thoughts directed at one or two particular people and till i keep writing about it i cant forgive or forget and till i do that it will keep spilling out on everyone else ... which is unpleasant and unfair!
which ofcourse doesnt mean the problems will go away if i take a break. or even that i will take a massively long break! but im going to take a break anyway. ill keep try to keep posting but probably wont write
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