I FINALLY got my license ... hah hah hah!
PUJO, AAR AMAAR KOLKATA
whether Im near or far
my heart is still with her
its that time of the year once more
when she haunts me like never before
I close my eyes and she comes to me ...
And in my mind Ill walk her streets
Ekhun amaar Kolkata te, dhaaker shobde akaash bhora
The drums roll like thunder on rainy hilltops in faraway little hamlets with exotic foreign names
Ekhun amaar Kolkata te, koto ronger alo'e alo'e raat ujjol
Like the virgin blush of new beauty, she will be glowing and humming and sweetly smiling
Its the start of the 3 month long party
Nights in Kolkata wont be the same again till about January
Against a backdrop immense dark deserted golfcourse
Bornfires burn in my mind
Vodka on the rocks
My best friend with me
As we tried to spot 5 people not dressed in shiny black
Or International night where you meet everyone but everyone and dance till you go nuts
Everyone who stays away from Kolkata tries to time homecomings for Dec
Me and my dad for the parties & birthdays and wedding annivs and ... well, the parties :)
Some people ... because its slightly cooler in Cal then
my city ... my beautiful, maddening, enchanting, haunting city ...
at work ...
its still hectic, but they have put away the axe for a bit :)
the way things were going ... they were gonna crucify me!
After this project is over Im gonna take a long break in Kolkata o mine
And find a nice Germany project ;)
Anna told him. But she's acting weird after that
When I read 100 years and the dad was living with his girlfriend I didnt feel so bad ... I kind of
grinned while reading in a boys will be boys kind of way
I dont know why. I guess its the kids ... I cant get over how horrible it is for the kids when they find
their mom going around with someone not legit or even. Most kids need to think of their moms as
a kind of a neutered creature. I realised this when i was very young and wrote an essay on it which
won me a fullscore on 20 on 20 in my finals and lots of literary / philospohical acclaim in school.
But I was not even 14 then ... but I sympathised with the moms. Now Im just mixed up and
confused on the issue ... it doesnt seem as clear as it once did. Nothing is clear in this whole issue of
extra maritial affairs ... even the be honest to the person ur cheating precept no longer stands very
firm. I mean if ur gonna do it anyway, and ur not gonna leave the poor man ... maybe ignorance is
bliss? Few yrs back I would have said ofcourse u can fall in love - and who can help that ...
whenever, with whomever ... its like a thunderbolt & u have no control. and ofcourse u must give
way to love. BUT now I feel that we cant always afford to give way to love. Indeed "LOVE" no
longer seems as undeniable as it once did. And there seem to be other considerations, other duties, priorities ... other loves ... like your parents, your children, maybe even yourself.
Oh My God ... This is my fav soapbox and I could go on and on forever! So Ill take it up again tomorrow.
my heart is still with her
its that time of the year once more
when she haunts me like never before
I close my eyes and she comes to me ...
And in my mind Ill walk her streets
Ekhun amaar Kolkata te, dhaaker shobde akaash bhora
The drums roll like thunder on rainy hilltops in faraway little hamlets with exotic foreign names
Ekhun amaar Kolkata te, koto ronger alo'e alo'e raat ujjol
Like the virgin blush of new beauty, she will be glowing and humming and sweetly smiling
Its the start of the 3 month long party
Nights in Kolkata wont be the same again till about January
Against a backdrop immense dark deserted golfcourse
Bornfires burn in my mind
Vodka on the rocks
My best friend with me
As we tried to spot 5 people not dressed in shiny black
Or International night where you meet everyone but everyone and dance till you go nuts
Everyone who stays away from Kolkata tries to time homecomings for Dec
Me and my dad for the parties & birthdays and wedding annivs and ... well, the parties :)
Some people ... because its slightly cooler in Cal then
my city ... my beautiful, maddening, enchanting, haunting city ...
at work ...
its still hectic, but they have put away the axe for a bit :)
the way things were going ... they were gonna crucify me!
After this project is over Im gonna take a long break in Kolkata o mine
And find a nice Germany project ;)
Anna told him. But she's acting weird after that
When I read 100 years and the dad was living with his girlfriend I didnt feel so bad ... I kind of
grinned while reading in a boys will be boys kind of way
I dont know why. I guess its the kids ... I cant get over how horrible it is for the kids when they find
their mom going around with someone not legit or even. Most kids need to think of their moms as
a kind of a neutered creature. I realised this when i was very young and wrote an essay on it which
won me a fullscore on 20 on 20 in my finals and lots of literary / philospohical acclaim in school.
But I was not even 14 then ... but I sympathised with the moms. Now Im just mixed up and
confused on the issue ... it doesnt seem as clear as it once did. Nothing is clear in this whole issue of
extra maritial affairs ... even the be honest to the person ur cheating precept no longer stands very
firm. I mean if ur gonna do it anyway, and ur not gonna leave the poor man ... maybe ignorance is
bliss? Few yrs back I would have said ofcourse u can fall in love - and who can help that ...
whenever, with whomever ... its like a thunderbolt & u have no control. and ofcourse u must give
way to love. BUT now I feel that we cant always afford to give way to love. Indeed "LOVE" no
longer seems as undeniable as it once did. And there seem to be other considerations, other duties, priorities ... other loves ... like your parents, your children, maybe even yourself.
Oh My God ... This is my fav soapbox and I could go on and on forever! So Ill take it up again tomorrow.
get by with a little help
its so wonderful how ur friends rush in to help you when r low ....
im kind of in a better shape now :)
maybe will put up a pome or carry on the anna karenina discussion that me and mich were having on the blog for general discussion
im kind of in a better shape now :)
maybe will put up a pome or carry on the anna karenina discussion that me and mich were having on the blog for general discussion
DEMENTIA REIGNS SUPREME
why do I always get myself into a soup
why do I always find that I have done the wrong thing
more things change more they stay the same
once I used to get ma upset bcz tho I was good in studies I flunked exams and did badly and pissed of everyone in the school and made no friends
then I used to get Pills upset bcz I fought with everyone in the hostel ... she said everyday she used to be scared that she will hear from someone Ive hit someone badly or something like that ... like the princi or a teacher. I did brilliantly in my orals and practs ... rare feats in my univ ... and flunked the theory papers in the very same subjects
now at work I work hard and know my systems and everything - still I screw up and then everyone is putting up posters with a price on my head ...
the same things I got a shouting for as a 3 yr old I still get into trouble for - no learning curve
still hot headed and dont know what Im doing once I lose my head
still cant say what I want to say or should say until I get mad
Still cant prioritise
Still day dreaming & absent minded
Still careless & shabby and too bloody friendly with anyone I meet ...
theres something fundamentally wrong with my head. serves me right whatever comes my way.
I screw up work. I screw up my personal life. and my family life ... hah! thats a joke
Bollocks man ... I wish I cud just run away somewhere and hide for eternity.
Ill never make it.
Ill never do it. Never get there
Anyway ... it does not matter. Tomorrow is another day and everything will be allright
Guess it just threw me to hear baba crying, and see the assholes dumb mail
And worst of all to realise Id fucked up my screens :(
Ive been having a long nice run of bad luck
The nicest things that have happened or maybe the only nice things ... 2 new friends & a new car!
and that also got screwed up so badly
kams ... what do I say about him!
but what the hell ... it cant last for ever!
tomorrow is another day ... maybe things will get better soon
as long as work and baba (& my granny sweet) and leo are fine I guess I can handle the rest :)
why do I always find that I have done the wrong thing
more things change more they stay the same
once I used to get ma upset bcz tho I was good in studies I flunked exams and did badly and pissed of everyone in the school and made no friends
then I used to get Pills upset bcz I fought with everyone in the hostel ... she said everyday she used to be scared that she will hear from someone Ive hit someone badly or something like that ... like the princi or a teacher. I did brilliantly in my orals and practs ... rare feats in my univ ... and flunked the theory papers in the very same subjects
now at work I work hard and know my systems and everything - still I screw up and then everyone is putting up posters with a price on my head ...
the same things I got a shouting for as a 3 yr old I still get into trouble for - no learning curve
still hot headed and dont know what Im doing once I lose my head
still cant say what I want to say or should say until I get mad
Still cant prioritise
Still day dreaming & absent minded
Still careless & shabby and too bloody friendly with anyone I meet ...
theres something fundamentally wrong with my head. serves me right whatever comes my way.
I screw up work. I screw up my personal life. and my family life ... hah! thats a joke
Bollocks man ... I wish I cud just run away somewhere and hide for eternity.
Ill never make it.
Ill never do it. Never get there
Anyway ... it does not matter. Tomorrow is another day and everything will be allright
Guess it just threw me to hear baba crying, and see the assholes dumb mail
And worst of all to realise Id fucked up my screens :(
Ive been having a long nice run of bad luck
The nicest things that have happened or maybe the only nice things ... 2 new friends & a new car!
and that also got screwed up so badly
kams ... what do I say about him!
but what the hell ... it cant last for ever!
tomorrow is another day ... maybe things will get better soon
as long as work and baba (& my granny sweet) and leo are fine I guess I can handle the rest :)
Total DEMENTIA SETS IN
theres something about me ...
sometimes my mind kind of slows down and goes slow slow slow ... pause
and I do the dumbest imaginable thing
its these times when kams calls me a MR and my mommy calls me autistic (lovingly)
its usually when Im reading a good book or testing
then Im like so lost in why the insert wont insert or if anna karenina should feel guilty
im totally not there ... where I actually am ... and its worse bcz from the outside u cant tell if Im there or here or where :)
like yesterday - I put up a post on thornbords and totally forgot about it ... even tho it was right in front of me
paradox says somethiong about the birds and Im like "whats he talking about! maybe he's cuckoo' :)
then I go to chai bhai's site and leave a nice bright zonk "HI PARADOX"!!!
and right now ... I totally forgot that Id set up a new account to receive mails from the blog
as a part of my great efforts at being anonymous!
i kept checking uknowwho@hotmail and forgot about the new account
today I remembered and chkd and I had so many mails sitting there
ramana, sapna & vani ... yippidee ... yippdoo ... I love getting mails :)
sometimes it gets more sinister - like when Im crossing roads
thats what I got hit by my mom for the last time she hit me ...
last year ... Im working ... in front of two colleagues ... wham!
how embarrassing :(
maybe my getting senile is highlighting it
getting too old to rock and roll - too old to die at double time
"whatever" ... I learned that here in the US of A :)
came back late from work again
i hate to admit it ... i love it ;)
i know Im not making sense. so Ill finish the post here
had a nice chat with TCGFSB ... boom bang Boing!
man he's cute :)
sometimes my mind kind of slows down and goes slow slow slow ... pause
and I do the dumbest imaginable thing
its these times when kams calls me a MR and my mommy calls me autistic (lovingly)
its usually when Im reading a good book or testing
then Im like so lost in why the insert wont insert or if anna karenina should feel guilty
im totally not there ... where I actually am ... and its worse bcz from the outside u cant tell if Im there or here or where :)
like yesterday - I put up a post on thornbords and totally forgot about it ... even tho it was right in front of me
paradox says somethiong about the birds and Im like "whats he talking about! maybe he's cuckoo' :)
then I go to chai bhai's site and leave a nice bright zonk "HI PARADOX"!!!
and right now ... I totally forgot that Id set up a new account to receive mails from the blog
as a part of my great efforts at being anonymous!
i kept checking uknowwho@hotmail and forgot about the new account
today I remembered and chkd and I had so many mails sitting there
ramana, sapna & vani ... yippidee ... yippdoo ... I love getting mails :)
sometimes it gets more sinister - like when Im crossing roads
thats what I got hit by my mom for the last time she hit me ...
last year ... Im working ... in front of two colleagues ... wham!
how embarrassing :(
maybe my getting senile is highlighting it
getting too old to rock and roll - too old to die at double time
"whatever" ... I learned that here in the US of A :)
came back late from work again
i hate to admit it ... i love it ;)
i know Im not making sense. so Ill finish the post here
had a nice chat with TCGFSB ... boom bang Boing!
man he's cute :)
FROM THE DESK OF "THE SUPER GROUCH"
calvin & hobbes
its a season of finding. i found another quote which i have been hunting
for for years! its so true ... and beautiful
"The bird with the thorn in its breast, it follows an immutable law; it is driven by it knows not what to impale itself, and die singing. At the very instant the thorn enters there is no awareness in it of the dying to come; it simply sings and sing until there is not the life left to utter another note. But we, when we put the thorns in our breasts, we know. We understand. And still we do it. Still we do it."
from The Thornbirds, Colleen McCullough
dont feel like writing anything in this blog today so ill just be GROUCHY and bug everyone who reads the post
missing jinx very much today
wish he was here
he'd understand ...
i went to wandy's blog. she writes so bldy well!
didnt get any mails from mich all day ... she's ignoring me too!
neo and sapna are like, totally ignoring me ... gawd knows where they are ... god bless the kids!
I miss teddy :(
I got a lot of books from the childrens section this weekend ... agatha chrities, peter pan & little women & "willie wonka"
I read my centuries old journal and remembered how weird I was! (I mean how much weirder)
I realised I keep 3 blogs, a webpage & a paper journal
POME
"wish it was you
no one else will ever quite do
i try so hard, but its all a mess
i know inside. i do confess
uve got a way of doing everything
cute and funny and maddening
now ur gone, good bye. gooodbye
im not sure i know just how it all happened. so fast.
now ur gone, I dont even cry,
anymore. I just stare at the road. With dumb look on my face
should have been you
no one else will do
id never in a lightyear let you know
but sweetheart it was always you
PM
its a beautiful day, the internet delivered a picture of my leo
chatted with my mom
my leo (my beloved my sweet darling leo) is ill
he is getting old it seems (bull)
mom is such a darling
she is so cute
she lined up all my stuff toys in front of the webcam
and leo and my cats
and the birds
everything
and I saw my daddy in his red jammies :)
for a second such a wave of nostalgia swept over me
cant explain ... felt like my heart will break ... with a nice feeling ...
recently a friend asked me who is there for u when things go wrong
no ones ever there really ... but its not as tragic as it sounds
its no big deal - u get used to it jolly quick and all
u just take a deep breath and wait for it to pass
and u shudnt let any one be there
bcz people r very predicatable that way - they go away - or they change
or they turn out to be something totally different from what u thought they were
and then it hurts like hell
reading I think paradox's blog recently I remembered my daddy's smell
he smells of anteus and tide and dunhill and whiskey and the cement plant
he looks serious and scary or half asleep
and he frowns most of the time
and then he smiles, slow unexpectedly - and suddenly boom he's grinning like a little boy
there are things that remind me of him. anteus. smell of whiskey. or ac cars
crisp white shirts. anyone shaving and making strange faces
panes flying overhead, abriti, satyajeet roy, hemanta ... almost everything nice
listening to bhole o bhole ... corny song but cute :)
and also "piya bawri" i love those semi classical hindi movie songs!
spoke to mom for a long time
mists of nostalgia
play misty for me
svengali
fedora
kishore kumar
broken tape recorder
days of poverty
ahua
tartous
the sea
long winding roads - always the same end
whenever I talk to mom it comes to the same thing
sadiyon sadiyon wahin tamaasha - rasta rasta lambi khoj
wish I wasnt such a coward
but somethings ... u cant deal with u cant face u ant solve u cant bear
u can just run and run ...
me and the sky
I cried today to keep her company
And she rained all day
And then at night she lit up the chandeliers
To make my heart bright again
Everyone else just passes by
In the end its just you and i
Everything changes every minute
And ur left staring into the sky
one of my childhood friends commited suicide a long time back
here. in texas
we were in india then
i was in pune
chatts was in cal
sauce was in blore
chatts called me
she was crying ... i didnt know what to do
we become so selfish in times of pain
my first though was how sauce & chatts will be hurt ...
no one knew why
I was curious
i did a search on suicide in google
and I came across this site which said that
kids who are exposed to very complicated or hurtful situations
when very young are never very normal again
they never really heal
pressman said the same thing ... design time errors are 5 times harder to recover from than errors picked up in later phases of the development life cycle. somethings never go away. some things never get better. somethings never heal
u just have to learn to live with it the best u can.
my leo (my beloved my sweet darling leo) is ill
he is getting old it seems (bull)
mom is such a darling
she is so cute
she lined up all my stuff toys in front of the webcam
and leo and my cats
and the birds
everything
and I saw my daddy in his red jammies :)
for a second such a wave of nostalgia swept over me
cant explain ... felt like my heart will break ... with a nice feeling ...
recently a friend asked me who is there for u when things go wrong
no ones ever there really ... but its not as tragic as it sounds
its no big deal - u get used to it jolly quick and all
u just take a deep breath and wait for it to pass
and u shudnt let any one be there
bcz people r very predicatable that way - they go away - or they change
or they turn out to be something totally different from what u thought they were
and then it hurts like hell
reading I think paradox's blog recently I remembered my daddy's smell
he smells of anteus and tide and dunhill and whiskey and the cement plant
he looks serious and scary or half asleep
and he frowns most of the time
and then he smiles, slow unexpectedly - and suddenly boom he's grinning like a little boy
there are things that remind me of him. anteus. smell of whiskey. or ac cars
crisp white shirts. anyone shaving and making strange faces
panes flying overhead, abriti, satyajeet roy, hemanta ... almost everything nice
listening to bhole o bhole ... corny song but cute :)
and also "piya bawri" i love those semi classical hindi movie songs!
spoke to mom for a long time
mists of nostalgia
play misty for me
svengali
fedora
kishore kumar
broken tape recorder
days of poverty
ahua
tartous
the sea
long winding roads - always the same end
whenever I talk to mom it comes to the same thing
sadiyon sadiyon wahin tamaasha - rasta rasta lambi khoj
wish I wasnt such a coward
but somethings ... u cant deal with u cant face u ant solve u cant bear
u can just run and run ...
me and the sky
I cried today to keep her company
And she rained all day
And then at night she lit up the chandeliers
To make my heart bright again
Everyone else just passes by
In the end its just you and i
Everything changes every minute
And ur left staring into the sky
one of my childhood friends commited suicide a long time back
here. in texas
we were in india then
i was in pune
chatts was in cal
sauce was in blore
chatts called me
she was crying ... i didnt know what to do
we become so selfish in times of pain
my first though was how sauce & chatts will be hurt ...
no one knew why
I was curious
i did a search on suicide in google
and I came across this site which said that
kids who are exposed to very complicated or hurtful situations
when very young are never very normal again
they never really heal
pressman said the same thing ... design time errors are 5 times harder to recover from than errors picked up in later phases of the development life cycle. somethings never go away. some things never get better. somethings never heal
u just have to learn to live with it the best u can.
SUNDAY MORNING
went to sleep with my array of alarms from 5 am to 6 am
woke up at 7:30
it must take some talent to ignore 3 alarms and wake up an hour and half late
I like to wake up early on hols so that its kind of longer ... other wise it feels like it just whooshed past
chatting with my mom and trying to teach her to maximise her window
is it so hard?
how can some one so intelligent otherwise be so tech PHOBIC ... thers no other words for it
she even freaks out on the remote saying its too complicated!
what about all her windspeed and dead load and live load and projections crap like that ... thats very simple!
god give me patience!
I remember how I refused to accept the concept of negetive numbers
sometime way back in the passed and poor child she was trying to explain for so long
I still remember I was hanging from the window grill (my fav studying place)
and saying na na na ;)
i mailed a college prof today about a subject I was interested in and he sent me a list of books to read
that was so kind
its ten already! these days on sundays the hours pass like those last few hours before the exam is due to start
woke up at 7:30
it must take some talent to ignore 3 alarms and wake up an hour and half late
I like to wake up early on hols so that its kind of longer ... other wise it feels like it just whooshed past
chatting with my mom and trying to teach her to maximise her window
is it so hard?
how can some one so intelligent otherwise be so tech PHOBIC ... thers no other words for it
she even freaks out on the remote saying its too complicated!
what about all her windspeed and dead load and live load and projections crap like that ... thats very simple!
god give me patience!
I remember how I refused to accept the concept of negetive numbers
sometime way back in the passed and poor child she was trying to explain for so long
I still remember I was hanging from the window grill (my fav studying place)
and saying na na na ;)
i mailed a college prof today about a subject I was interested in and he sent me a list of books to read
that was so kind
its ten already! these days on sundays the hours pass like those last few hours before the exam is due to start
MY LIFE
I woke up at 5:30 with a solution that was poking me in my sleep
came to office at 6:30 - used all my discipline to stop myself from coming in my jammies
got in at 6:30 - walked in the rain
waorked with out lunch shunch anything till 3:00 ... debugging ... one of those fuck the world gotto make this work moments
and guess what?
the dataset got deleted! can u blv that! ... This is my life!
Now Im sitting here coolly and laughing at it all and everyone around will be thinking how cool I am ... inside I feel like ramming my fist through the monitor ... white hot angry ... what to do ... life nahi hai laddu :)
isnt it funny how we change when we know we have an audience
i deleted and put back the swear words in this post which had come totally with the flow so many time ...
I chkd some old posts from the archives to make sure & its really diff
maybe I shud change my url again and go true blue anonymous!
spoke to yogi ...
when I first read his comments I thought he reminded me if brat (bharadwaaja)
then I saw his snap and even that was like brat
next I saw his resume on his blog - toh bday bhi paas paas hai - another libran
today I heard his voice ... and thats also like brat
now in my miss marple avataar ... that cud really get me thinking!
wonder where brat is and how ... Ill do another post on him soon. miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!
miss the way he'd suddenly make his voice go deeeeeeep (indigo deep) and go "Prero" :)
and a hundred other things
old cotton t's, old homes, old friends, old fav songs ... so special forever!
its 8:30 - came at 6:30 ... been a long time since i did this ... wow!
came to office at 6:30 - used all my discipline to stop myself from coming in my jammies
got in at 6:30 - walked in the rain
waorked with out lunch shunch anything till 3:00 ... debugging ... one of those fuck the world gotto make this work moments
and guess what?
the dataset got deleted! can u blv that! ... This is my life!
Now Im sitting here coolly and laughing at it all and everyone around will be thinking how cool I am ... inside I feel like ramming my fist through the monitor ... white hot angry ... what to do ... life nahi hai laddu :)
isnt it funny how we change when we know we have an audience
i deleted and put back the swear words in this post which had come totally with the flow so many time ...
I chkd some old posts from the archives to make sure & its really diff
maybe I shud change my url again and go true blue anonymous!
spoke to yogi ...
when I first read his comments I thought he reminded me if brat (bharadwaaja)
then I saw his snap and even that was like brat
next I saw his resume on his blog - toh bday bhi paas paas hai - another libran
today I heard his voice ... and thats also like brat
now in my miss marple avataar ... that cud really get me thinking!
wonder where brat is and how ... Ill do another post on him soon. miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!
miss the way he'd suddenly make his voice go deeeeeeep (indigo deep) and go "Prero" :)
and a hundred other things
old cotton t's, old homes, old friends, old fav songs ... so special forever!
its 8:30 - came at 6:30 ... been a long time since i did this ... wow!
new quizzilla quiz ... Its dumb! Im not like that at all. I mean even my inner child issnt. Quizzilla is DUMB
I was just talking to star and I remembered when I was a kid I went and hid in the bath tub in the loo and pulled the curtains all around
or i hid under a table with a huge table cloth - or under the bed in my grans house - that I did a lot
I think it used to be my fav place in the house
Got a dumb trg today when I need to work
Theres a Aerosmith concert here necxt month and another fleetwod mac
Im reaaly sad bcz I cant go ... dont know anyone I cud drag along and Idont wanna go alone
but maybe something will turn up ...
I was just talking to star and I remembered when I was a kid I went and hid in the bath tub in the loo and pulled the curtains all around
or i hid under a table with a huge table cloth - or under the bed in my grans house - that I did a lot
I think it used to be my fav place in the house
Got a dumb trg today when I need to work
Theres a Aerosmith concert here necxt month and another fleetwod mac
Im reaaly sad bcz I cant go ... dont know anyone I cud drag along and Idont wanna go alone
but maybe something will turn up ...
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
feel like shit. its all blowing up. missed my driving class. for the stupidest of reasons. he actually came home and had to go away. i feel so bloody guilty. poor old man. Im in a f%^ mess. i got b&^$^& 4 days left to test all the stuff and i the stupidest of things keep going wrong. i saw the dumbest of all movies with all the ugly men and women in the world. i hate rani mukherjee & kajol but salma hayek is another class altogether. grow. and icing on the cake antonio b & j egg. only cute part was jonny dep and even he doesnt get cute till his eyes are too red holes with bloody streaming down and cute ish kid and the dog. it was cuteish! here there - back home - with chatts, with ad, with work, with kams ... everything is going screwy. need to concentrate. Im gonna go off this blog for a bit.
... unless I change my mind ;)
... unless I change my mind ;)
MONDAY MORNING REDS
woke up late
did a 3 min getting ready stunt
the brush teeth - swallow coffee - drag on dockers and first shirt in sight grab hair brush - run kind
mad ness at work
status on new project - oncall reports - old project err debug
itna kyun log halla karte hain office mein?
how am I suppose to write weird code & compose convoluted logic in the hulla :(
SHADOWS
i close each hand and make a fist
my nails dig into my palms
i close my eyes and push in my fists
and stare into the dark
in the black corridors
i see shapes begin to form
i see something that might be you
moving in the dark
u turn around and hold out ur arms
i gasp in shock and begin to run
i open my eyes and get lost again
in the vagueness of the light
through the day a 56 times
i think of something to tell u or ask
through the night 38 times
i turn in my bed to find u
then i remember ... and im surprised i remember.
it was so long ago
its all past and forgotten now
yet a echo still remains ...
just a hollow sound ringing across deserted rocks & the sea
two ghost voices calling out to each other as they run across the beach
and laughing and breathing quicker than before.
the sound an echo, of a ghost, of a memory, of a dream of what could have been.
a hollow cosy nook in the dim mellow late afternoon light
nothing that was. or would have been. or would be ... just could have been ... so much.
did a 3 min getting ready stunt
the brush teeth - swallow coffee - drag on dockers and first shirt in sight grab hair brush - run kind
mad ness at work
status on new project - oncall reports - old project err debug
itna kyun log halla karte hain office mein?
how am I suppose to write weird code & compose convoluted logic in the hulla :(
SHADOWS
i close each hand and make a fist
my nails dig into my palms
i close my eyes and push in my fists
and stare into the dark
in the black corridors
i see shapes begin to form
i see something that might be you
moving in the dark
u turn around and hold out ur arms
i gasp in shock and begin to run
i open my eyes and get lost again
in the vagueness of the light
through the day a 56 times
i think of something to tell u or ask
through the night 38 times
i turn in my bed to find u
then i remember ... and im surprised i remember.
it was so long ago
its all past and forgotten now
yet a echo still remains ...
just a hollow sound ringing across deserted rocks & the sea
two ghost voices calling out to each other as they run across the beach
and laughing and breathing quicker than before.
the sound an echo, of a ghost, of a memory, of a dream of what could have been.
a hollow cosy nook in the dim mellow late afternoon light
nothing that was. or would have been. or would be ... just could have been ... so much.
SUNDAY HALL OF FAME
what a sunday - wow!
woke up at 2:30
sneaked - but then without ma - what sneak ... got a box of cookies and coffee to bed
and read ac till some more time
this is like summer hols just after exams ... the few days when u get away with any shit ...
read till u sleep somewhere in the early hours and wake up in the afternoon and just pick up the book and go on ... the way I read fountainhead in one sitting (rather lying) ;)
anyway - then I cooked & ate a MAMOTH break fast - juice, eggs, bacon, fruit ... works!
then I cleaned the kitchen and the loo & stuff (with my new love .... CLR bathroom & kitchen cleaner)
soaked for 1 hour & talked to jinx
and then I went for a 2 hour long drive
then I came back and cooked some beef curry ...
sat down to eat ... I had to put down my book and concetrate on my food it was so MINDBLOWING
washed it down with some cabernet
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
woke up at 2:30
sneaked - but then without ma - what sneak ... got a box of cookies and coffee to bed
and read ac till some more time
this is like summer hols just after exams ... the few days when u get away with any shit ...
read till u sleep somewhere in the early hours and wake up in the afternoon and just pick up the book and go on ... the way I read fountainhead in one sitting (rather lying) ;)
anyway - then I cooked & ate a MAMOTH break fast - juice, eggs, bacon, fruit ... works!
then I cleaned the kitchen and the loo & stuff (with my new love .... CLR bathroom & kitchen cleaner)
soaked for 1 hour & talked to jinx
and then I went for a 2 hour long drive
then I came back and cooked some beef curry ...
sat down to eat ... I had to put down my book and concetrate on my food it was so MINDBLOWING
washed it down with some cabernet
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
FRIDAY NIGHT FEVER
theres a storm all around
rain and winds and thunder and lightning
its so beautiful
weekends here again
dont feel like writing
sat at home and drank 2 bottles of beer and ate some nice prawns and watched "sex and love"
weird as the name as it sounds, it was a really sweet movie
and now Im off to bed and to agatha christie!
gotto get up at 7 2mrw (am) for a health fair that I volunteered at!
wonder how the weekends gona turn out
I need a slow and dead one bad.
but it never comes when u want it!
have a feeling this ones not gonna be as nice as the last one ... by a long shot!
Life nahi hai laddo ;)
FRIENDS AND AQUAINTANCES
Long time back - years & years ago - when I was in school ... someone sent me this fwd
I loved it. But I lost it. Tried looking for it many times since then
But today is the first time I found it online
here it is
Miss all my old friends whom I havent seen in so long :( but if & when, it will be just the same as before :)
Brat, Jinx, Adit, Chatts, Sauce, Juls, Malo, Pills, Vani ...
rain and winds and thunder and lightning
its so beautiful
weekends here again
dont feel like writing
sat at home and drank 2 bottles of beer and ate some nice prawns and watched "sex and love"
weird as the name as it sounds, it was a really sweet movie
and now Im off to bed and to agatha christie!
gotto get up at 7 2mrw (am) for a health fair that I volunteered at!
wonder how the weekends gona turn out
I need a slow and dead one bad.
but it never comes when u want it!
have a feeling this ones not gonna be as nice as the last one ... by a long shot!
Life nahi hai laddo ;)
FRIENDS AND AQUAINTANCES
Long time back - years & years ago - when I was in school ... someone sent me this fwd
I loved it. But I lost it. Tried looking for it many times since then
But today is the first time I found it online
here it is
Miss all my old friends whom I havent seen in so long :( but if & when, it will be just the same as before :)
Brat, Jinx, Adit, Chatts, Sauce, Juls, Malo, Pills, Vani ...
FALLING IN LOVE WITH FALL
before the earth goes to rest, in a dark cape of winter
she puts up one last show - glowing in the subtle hues of fall
all around is a peace descending
russet, red & gold
everything seems winding down
all drama will fold
like the climax of a day ... theres a undercurrent of excitement in the air
everyone is happy and peaceful, once more autumn is here
SOMEDAY WE'RE GONNA BE SO HIGH
when i was young i used to be so much more impetuous
every doubt, suspicion, hurt, pain ... it all had to be faced & analysed & 'fixed or filed' straight away
these days, i realise, its sometimes a great thing to be able to be still inside
and draw a deep breath and wait for confusion and pain to pass like a huge wave that washes over our heads
when u see a roller coaster coming in the distance it looks so scary, and mamoth
u cant believe u could survive that breaking on ur head
but if ur still & patient, sometimes it just passes
and ur left standing in peacefull waters again
with blue and grean playing peacefully all around and the sun glinting silver gold of the surface
all things get better with time
they have to, theres no other way
sometimes it doesnt help to cry, or talk or be upset
u just have to take a deep breath and bear it & wait for it to pass. as it will. for sure
and then ur happy and free to laugh & dance & sing & fly again
somehow - life goes on. somehow, life finds a way, somehow life takes care of u and makes u happy
sometimes u just have to wait.
at times I think, life is so wonderful ...
BLAME IT ON THE STARS
Its all starfest's fault - she keeps doing these dumb quizzes & I cant resist trying it out! ;)
Well, Casablance and all huh? Must admit I fell for the way he says "here to you, kid" ... reminds me of brat! wonder what he's upto these days!
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
she puts up one last show - glowing in the subtle hues of fall
all around is a peace descending
russet, red & gold
everything seems winding down
all drama will fold
like the climax of a day ... theres a undercurrent of excitement in the air
everyone is happy and peaceful, once more autumn is here
SOMEDAY WE'RE GONNA BE SO HIGH
when i was young i used to be so much more impetuous
every doubt, suspicion, hurt, pain ... it all had to be faced & analysed & 'fixed or filed' straight away
these days, i realise, its sometimes a great thing to be able to be still inside
and draw a deep breath and wait for confusion and pain to pass like a huge wave that washes over our heads
when u see a roller coaster coming in the distance it looks so scary, and mamoth
u cant believe u could survive that breaking on ur head
but if ur still & patient, sometimes it just passes
and ur left standing in peacefull waters again
with blue and grean playing peacefully all around and the sun glinting silver gold of the surface
all things get better with time
they have to, theres no other way
sometimes it doesnt help to cry, or talk or be upset
u just have to take a deep breath and bear it & wait for it to pass. as it will. for sure
and then ur happy and free to laugh & dance & sing & fly again
somehow - life goes on. somehow, life finds a way, somehow life takes care of u and makes u happy
sometimes u just have to wait.
at times I think, life is so wonderful ...
BLAME IT ON THE STARS
Its all starfest's fault - she keeps doing these dumb quizzes & I cant resist trying it out! ;)
Well, Casablance and all huh? Must admit I fell for the way he says "here to you, kid" ... reminds me of brat! wonder what he's upto these days!
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
one lazy day in fall ...
Flower. Storm.
Gentle. Warm.
Restless. Peace.
Waits or Flees ...
Tell me love what love is?
LIME AND LEMONY MONDAY
its such a beautiful day - everything a monday should be
the sky is bluer than robin eggs, the su shines without burning
everyone is happy all around
and work is nicely rolling
from the window by my desk I see a shining pond
and a lazy tortoise who doesnt go to work
basking in the sun
a little dreamy a little busy everyone is working like merry little ants
keyboards humming & coffee scenting the air everywhere
sometimes I think ... its such a beautiful world :)
INSPIRED BY MICH
Lord of the Rings!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
ISSNT IT IRONIC ... I never watch the stuff. Closest Ive got to it is Jinx reading out some stuff thats a take on it :)
Gentle. Warm.
Restless. Peace.
Waits or Flees ...
Tell me love what love is?
LIME AND LEMONY MONDAY
its such a beautiful day - everything a monday should be
the sky is bluer than robin eggs, the su shines without burning
everyone is happy all around
and work is nicely rolling
from the window by my desk I see a shining pond
and a lazy tortoise who doesnt go to work
basking in the sun
a little dreamy a little busy everyone is working like merry little ants
keyboards humming & coffee scenting the air everywhere
sometimes I think ... its such a beautiful world :)
INSPIRED BY MICH
Lord of the Rings!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
ISSNT IT IRONIC ... I never watch the stuff. Closest Ive got to it is Jinx reading out some stuff thats a take on it :)
not sad just sober ...
Im a dark, black stained maroon
I wish I was yellow and orange and pink
Im tequila mad and crazy
wish I was a stylish gin
Im old and grown cynical
wish I was young and naive again
wish i could feel again with all my heart
even if its bound to be pain
Ive walked so far, so long now
Im tired and worn and bored
I wish I could have reached home by now
Must be some nice place at the end of the road.
PM05092003
Im listening to ...
"you believed in their stories of fame fortune and glory
now you're lost in a haze of alchohol soft middle age
the pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high
and you hide hide hide
behind brown and mild eyes"
Mammaaaaaa
Moms taken a break with the match making
The last two eminent flops of her efforts have thankfully given her some room for thought
lol ... am I glad!
I never thought MY parents would do this!
Okay - Im ancient and all - but still - they were so always cool & happening partying busy bee folks
what happened to them!!!
a funny story ...
my dad was off late driving me insane about the M thing
i was getting really fed up of fencing with him
so I turned around and told him "y dont u find me somoeone & I promise Ill go for whoever u find blindly :)"
well ... after that 3 conversations and he doesnt bring up the M word
Next time I decide to bug him a bit
so I said "what happened, u hunting???"
so he says "I will - whats the hurry ya"
another 3/4 conversations later I decide to bug get him again ...
so Im said "what happened baba, u searching and all"?
So he says "hey - I cant do all this - if u find some one - get married otherwise forget it" ... LOL
He hasnt brought up the topic again after that!!!
Thing is - in my fam last 3 generations no ones had an arranged marraige ... so they are a little puzzled as to what they r supposed to do about me ... :)
interesting quizs from vidya's post ...
what kind of a bitch are you
I am ...
WANNABE BITCH
You know...you don't HAVE to be a bitch of you
don't want to. Maybe you're just not cut-out to
be a bitch. But don't worry! Being a bitch
isn't all that great. You're not missing out on
a thing!
(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
and your Japanese name ...
Mine is
Ichi - "That one with wisdom" Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla
From DIYA's post ... the color quiz
And I am ... BROWN!
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
WHAT CRAP!!! :)
I wish I was yellow and orange and pink
Im tequila mad and crazy
wish I was a stylish gin
Im old and grown cynical
wish I was young and naive again
wish i could feel again with all my heart
even if its bound to be pain
Ive walked so far, so long now
Im tired and worn and bored
I wish I could have reached home by now
Must be some nice place at the end of the road.
PM05092003
Im listening to ...
"you believed in their stories of fame fortune and glory
now you're lost in a haze of alchohol soft middle age
the pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high
and you hide hide hide
behind brown and mild eyes"
Mammaaaaaa
Moms taken a break with the match making
The last two eminent flops of her efforts have thankfully given her some room for thought
lol ... am I glad!
I never thought MY parents would do this!
Okay - Im ancient and all - but still - they were so always cool & happening partying busy bee folks
what happened to them!!!
a funny story ...
my dad was off late driving me insane about the M thing
i was getting really fed up of fencing with him
so I turned around and told him "y dont u find me somoeone & I promise Ill go for whoever u find blindly :)"
well ... after that 3 conversations and he doesnt bring up the M word
Next time I decide to bug him a bit
so I said "what happened, u hunting???"
so he says "I will - whats the hurry ya"
another 3/4 conversations later I decide to bug get him again ...
so Im said "what happened baba, u searching and all"?
So he says "hey - I cant do all this - if u find some one - get married otherwise forget it" ... LOL
He hasnt brought up the topic again after that!!!
Thing is - in my fam last 3 generations no ones had an arranged marraige ... so they are a little puzzled as to what they r supposed to do about me ... :)
interesting quizs from vidya's post ...
what kind of a bitch are you
I am ...
WANNABE BITCH
You know...you don't HAVE to be a bitch of you
don't want to. Maybe you're just not cut-out to
be a bitch. But don't worry! Being a bitch
isn't all that great. You're not missing out on
a thing!
(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
and your Japanese name ...
Mine is
Ichi - "That one with wisdom" Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla
From DIYA's post ... the color quiz
And I am ... BROWN!
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.
WHAT CRAP!!! :)
TA dA dA DA dA DA Feeling Groovy ...
listening to
hello lamp post, what u doing? came to see ur flowers growing. TA dA dA DA dA DA Feeling Groovy!
i love the rainy season
of course there no big rainy season here
but i love it when it rains
and off late we have been having such nice storms and heavy showers
i like the smell in the air, and the general air of drama and excitement it always brings
and everything becomes dreamy, pretty
to misquote, on days such as this the heart turns to thoughts of love
what is love, i still havent been able to figure it out
what is it? how does it work? how do u find it? is there any such thing at all, after all.
they say love conquers all, but its only all conquering love that conquers all ... maybe!
i used to have a pet phrase. a take on a dialouge in jurassic park
nature, love, water will always find a way :)
wet winds, fragrant earth and a strange light in the sky
half memories of old places & people visited and known and loved
these are the things that make the heart feel tender at times like this
rains remind me of going off in the school bus which felt like a motor boat
leaning out of the windows to touch the "waves" (filthy)
jumping into puddles 'SPLAaaaaaAT'
school closed ... walking back home from rawdon street to southern avenue
other times ... drizzle drizzle and me and ma in matheron ... laughing and cracking up and loafing all day
me and baba in london, aimlessly wondering around and drinking beer and calling up to report "sightseeing progress" to ma everynow and then
ma is very enthu that u "have to see everything" me & dad are really lazy ... too lazy to care to much
Pune in the rain...
drip drip all day
like the gods there have diabetes
mud swirling and bird song in everywhere
running to cottage desperately trying to protect the journals in our hands
looking for a tumtum and trying to protect our sunday finery
the first time I saw rain in Dubai ...
Is this my friendly neighbourhood oven-hot dubai!!!
I always went summer hols ... so never saw rain
could have never imagined it would be so cool!
went in dec for the first time that year and wow! what rain ... what storm. Mind blowing stuff!
Like an orchestra from heaven
Sonet Lumeire
Bristol in the rain ...
drip drip all day
walking to work! not so nice
rowing in the rain. beautiful
laughing, kidding and getting wet and then running into the clubhouse bar to 'warm up'
bombay in the rain ...
belapur - green, so grean and wet
leo pols after loafing near the book shops in and around fountain
uncles house near VT. rain like a floods gonna happen right here right now
trying to find someones office all day in sasoon docks
the silvery shimmery light in the sky that rainy days bring
the squeaky clean look post rain
the grey gloomy grumpy look on the sky just before a big storm
rumbling, grumbling drums of thunder
the bright light fireworks of lightning
places and people. memories. and so many yet to come. life is so pretty :)
hello lamp post, what u doing? came to see ur flowers growing. TA dA dA DA dA DA Feeling Groovy!
i love the rainy season
of course there no big rainy season here
but i love it when it rains
and off late we have been having such nice storms and heavy showers
i like the smell in the air, and the general air of drama and excitement it always brings
and everything becomes dreamy, pretty
to misquote, on days such as this the heart turns to thoughts of love
what is love, i still havent been able to figure it out
what is it? how does it work? how do u find it? is there any such thing at all, after all.
they say love conquers all, but its only all conquering love that conquers all ... maybe!
i used to have a pet phrase. a take on a dialouge in jurassic park
nature, love, water will always find a way :)
wet winds, fragrant earth and a strange light in the sky
half memories of old places & people visited and known and loved
these are the things that make the heart feel tender at times like this
rains remind me of going off in the school bus which felt like a motor boat
leaning out of the windows to touch the "waves" (filthy)
jumping into puddles 'SPLAaaaaaAT'
school closed ... walking back home from rawdon street to southern avenue
other times ... drizzle drizzle and me and ma in matheron ... laughing and cracking up and loafing all day
me and baba in london, aimlessly wondering around and drinking beer and calling up to report "sightseeing progress" to ma everynow and then
ma is very enthu that u "have to see everything" me & dad are really lazy ... too lazy to care to much
Pune in the rain...
drip drip all day
like the gods there have diabetes
mud swirling and bird song in everywhere
running to cottage desperately trying to protect the journals in our hands
looking for a tumtum and trying to protect our sunday finery
the first time I saw rain in Dubai ...
Is this my friendly neighbourhood oven-hot dubai!!!
I always went summer hols ... so never saw rain
could have never imagined it would be so cool!
went in dec for the first time that year and wow! what rain ... what storm. Mind blowing stuff!
Like an orchestra from heaven
Sonet Lumeire
Bristol in the rain ...
drip drip all day
walking to work! not so nice
rowing in the rain. beautiful
laughing, kidding and getting wet and then running into the clubhouse bar to 'warm up'
bombay in the rain ...
belapur - green, so grean and wet
leo pols after loafing near the book shops in and around fountain
uncles house near VT. rain like a floods gonna happen right here right now
trying to find someones office all day in sasoon docks
the silvery shimmery light in the sky that rainy days bring
the squeaky clean look post rain
the grey gloomy grumpy look on the sky just before a big storm
rumbling, grumbling drums of thunder
the bright light fireworks of lightning
places and people. memories. and so many yet to come. life is so pretty :)
BOING goes the HEART!
whats attraction all about
why do we feel that we like and trust some people
the minute we get to know them
sometimes even before we have met them
like a filmstar, or a net friend or a dead personality we met in the pages of a history book
Im not thinking about just boy-girl girl-boy kind of attraction here
just general human bein to human being kind
what makes us meet some one and instantly feel that we would like to make a friend here
or we can place or trust there
or we can laugh unconcerned here
and of course there is the boy-girl girl-boy angle as well
suddenly meet someone **trrrrrrrrrrrring**
**BOING** ur eyes meet
you smile, he smiles (or not)
**TING TONG** ban gaya connection
**DING DONG** baj gayi ghanti
what are the dynamics of frolics of the heart? how do they work?
LE DIVORCE
i saw Le Divorce last night
it was quite awful, to be frank
i should have known
whenever i think a movies is gonna be mind blowing ... and wait impatiently
for months ... it is usually Awful :)
but I did fall in love once again ... with Paris!
not son of peirce brosnan, or Priam but the Paris of France
added to the list of Aleppo (first love - my birth place) & Tartous
and Kolkata (but ofcourse) and London and Bombay and New York and how could I forget ... most of germany! Another two cities I really liked very much were Jodhpur & Rajgir (and many other places I dont remember just now) but they were not like this deja-vu-evoking and blood-igniting, head-goes-boom-wow kind of impact ... and what else is love!
they say that when it comes to love, each time is like the first time
if that means that each new love wipes out memories of the old storms ... not so for me!
SAD MISSES & BIRTHDAYS
I got invited to go to new orleans this weekend
but I had to give it a miss ... bcz of work :(
but never mind - I wouldnt have gotten my cert yesterday had I gone ... **tarang tarang** :)
three people I know were born on the 1st of september and will need to be wished on Monday
three amazingly sweet and interesting men ... but so DRASTICALLY different I can never get over it ... so much for Linda Goodman then ;)
NOSTALGIA
i found some time back this old dd ek anek song and video ... brings memories crashing in. It did not work for me till I tried playing it from winamp using the open location option
why do we feel that we like and trust some people
the minute we get to know them
sometimes even before we have met them
like a filmstar, or a net friend or a dead personality we met in the pages of a history book
Im not thinking about just boy-girl girl-boy kind of attraction here
just general human bein to human being kind
what makes us meet some one and instantly feel that we would like to make a friend here
or we can place or trust there
or we can laugh unconcerned here
and of course there is the boy-girl girl-boy angle as well
suddenly meet someone **trrrrrrrrrrrring**
**BOING** ur eyes meet
you smile, he smiles (or not)
**TING TONG** ban gaya connection
**DING DONG** baj gayi ghanti
what are the dynamics of frolics of the heart? how do they work?
LE DIVORCE
i saw Le Divorce last night
it was quite awful, to be frank
i should have known
whenever i think a movies is gonna be mind blowing ... and wait impatiently
for months ... it is usually Awful :)
but I did fall in love once again ... with Paris!
not son of peirce brosnan, or Priam but the Paris of France
added to the list of Aleppo (first love - my birth place) & Tartous
and Kolkata (but ofcourse) and London and Bombay and New York and how could I forget ... most of germany! Another two cities I really liked very much were Jodhpur & Rajgir (and many other places I dont remember just now) but they were not like this deja-vu-evoking and blood-igniting, head-goes-boom-wow kind of impact ... and what else is love!
they say that when it comes to love, each time is like the first time
if that means that each new love wipes out memories of the old storms ... not so for me!
SAD MISSES & BIRTHDAYS
I got invited to go to new orleans this weekend
but I had to give it a miss ... bcz of work :(
but never mind - I wouldnt have gotten my cert yesterday had I gone ... **tarang tarang** :)
three people I know were born on the 1st of september and will need to be wished on Monday
three amazingly sweet and interesting men ... but so DRASTICALLY different I can never get over it ... so much for Linda Goodman then ;)
NOSTALGIA
i found some time back this old dd ek anek song and video ... brings memories crashing in. It did not work for me till I tried playing it from winamp using the open location option
happy days are here again
i passed my exam
now im a CSQA ... for what its worth
i really thought i had failed!
chatted with neo again. and rusty too!
great fun
now im a CSQA ... for what its worth
i really thought i had failed!
chatted with neo again. and rusty too!
great fun
asmita
i must write about the 'little one' ... asmita phani (pronounced like funny) ;)
she is actually a friend of a friend in cal
but not knowing many people here i talk to her a lot since i come here
people always tell me Im like a kid ... very immature and all ... but she beats me by light years
i feel like a daadi when i talk to her
she is so naive and innocent and kind of sweet
she gets into the maddest of scrapes
i shout at her so much - like i would at munal or something
and she doesnt even shout back
she's really a little one
i called her up at 3 am to tell her about my dream
i was really spooked
called kams as well but he didnt pick up
she picked up the phone and talked to me till i calmed down
last time someone did that to me i think was my grand mom or juls
feels nice wen u can 'call on' someone ... xtra nice for me bcz its usually bit hard for me to reach out and 'open up'
men are from mars
went out to see mars. pretty. 'saw' stars after a long time. remembered vani and all the start gazing we did on the karvenager flat terrace ... and the niks we gave the stars ... the jealous star (theres this one which almost seems like its trying to catch ur eye if u look at any other), the coloured star, the shy star. it was great fun.
introspection
i just dont understand myself. not 'at this time' and all. but actually - the basic self ... each time I try i feel like ill go deeper and deeper and drown into myself. but i want to understand very much. who, why, what ... ? its a mystery. everything we see, everything we hear nothing is as it seems. every thing is a clue. everything is a test.
do any of us really know or understand ourselves? some people think they do. some people pretend they do. some people dont give a damn. but does any one really really understand?
yogi
i really liked yogi's post today. about recycling souls and heaven and hell on earth & nirvana ... very bach
its the kind of feeling i got reading 'one' or 'bridge across ... ' like i thought the same but i couldnt have put it all together in words so well
i must write about the 'little one' ... asmita phani (pronounced like funny) ;)
she is actually a friend of a friend in cal
but not knowing many people here i talk to her a lot since i come here
people always tell me Im like a kid ... very immature and all ... but she beats me by light years
i feel like a daadi when i talk to her
she is so naive and innocent and kind of sweet
she gets into the maddest of scrapes
i shout at her so much - like i would at munal or something
and she doesnt even shout back
she's really a little one
i called her up at 3 am to tell her about my dream
i was really spooked
called kams as well but he didnt pick up
she picked up the phone and talked to me till i calmed down
last time someone did that to me i think was my grand mom or juls
feels nice wen u can 'call on' someone ... xtra nice for me bcz its usually bit hard for me to reach out and 'open up'
men are from mars
went out to see mars. pretty. 'saw' stars after a long time. remembered vani and all the start gazing we did on the karvenager flat terrace ... and the niks we gave the stars ... the jealous star (theres this one which almost seems like its trying to catch ur eye if u look at any other), the coloured star, the shy star. it was great fun.
introspection
i just dont understand myself. not 'at this time' and all. but actually - the basic self ... each time I try i feel like ill go deeper and deeper and drown into myself. but i want to understand very much. who, why, what ... ? its a mystery. everything we see, everything we hear nothing is as it seems. every thing is a clue. everything is a test.
do any of us really know or understand ourselves? some people think they do. some people pretend they do. some people dont give a damn. but does any one really really understand?
yogi
i really liked yogi's post today. about recycling souls and heaven and hell on earth & nirvana ... very bach
its the kind of feeling i got reading 'one' or 'bridge across ... ' like i thought the same but i couldnt have put it all together in words so well
trying poetry at 3am
the moon cried last night
though her shining face may lie
i saw her tears at dawn
glistening on the gras in the lawn
the sun he dried them away
they met for a few minutes today
the empty hours between day and night
when the world is fast asleep
now the moon is smiling
and silly day dreams weaving
and the crickets are singing
and a beautiful day is unfolding
though her shining face may lie
i saw her tears at dawn
glistening on the gras in the lawn
the sun he dried them away
they met for a few minutes today
the empty hours between day and night
when the world is fast asleep
now the moon is smiling
and silly day dreams weaving
and the crickets are singing
and a beautiful day is unfolding
comments
comments from backblog not working! tried to craete a haloscan account - no good - they say not creating new accounts temporarily. my tech help desk is temporarily un available ... I think! i sms's him but getting very laconic answers. so im not sure what to do. maybe ill try rediff comments or upgrage my backblog account to backblog pro - maybe that'll help! its just 10 dollars. lets see.
2:30 AM Nightmares
woke up with a really bad nightmare
atleast for a change it wasnt my house - the one Im at in my dreams
something happened to my eyes today
it was all red
so my i told ramesh - my pl - and he let me go home at 4 ish
came and slet till 8:30
had dinner
read (ABC murders - agatha christie) and slept at 1:00 AM
and then I had this AWFUL dream
i was in the usa - like staying here for good (yuck)
and i was in this apt
and it was very flimsy - made of plastic I think
anyway ... Im already spooked for some reason
and i call up this friends of my moms (who once wanted me to marry her son) to ask her how she is
then i hang up
kams comes over
he gets a messege from his girlfriend on his cell
then this babe - a indian girl - but very trashy type - comes in - just walks into the house
then she starts goinf through my makeup and picking up stuff and all
i get mnad and throw her out
kams gets mad
then theres this bihari lady (sautaal types) and her husband
they knock and he lets them in
she has fever
he lays them on my bed
im scared about who and what they are - so i get into a fight with him about it
and they all three walk out and get in a car
its pouring rain outside
i scream after kams to stay back and cry i think (how pansy - i never cry)
but they go
i feel guilty
theres this party happening and a few girls and boys are camping on my balcony
outside my bedroom window
its some 'everybody go out and have fun' kind of music
all the kids are on the road
music and lights blaring
its late
thats when I notice that the floor and ceilings are made of this kind of laced plastic strips
im scared but being brave - telling myself it will be okay and i have to live it out since im here now
anyway - then this girl - the trashy one who wacked my new dior stuff - she comes back
and says she is staying
i try to throw her out but she totally refuses to budge
i call 911
as she is leaving she is kind of sad and mad and resigned
i feel guilty
then i go to the loo
and Im crying and praying desperately
and this small girl tries to get into the house
and she bites my hand
i push her out
she bites me again and tries to get in
then I woke up ...
I wanna go home :(
atleast for a change it wasnt my house - the one Im at in my dreams
something happened to my eyes today
it was all red
so my i told ramesh - my pl - and he let me go home at 4 ish
came and slet till 8:30
had dinner
read (ABC murders - agatha christie) and slept at 1:00 AM
and then I had this AWFUL dream
i was in the usa - like staying here for good (yuck)
and i was in this apt
and it was very flimsy - made of plastic I think
anyway ... Im already spooked for some reason
and i call up this friends of my moms (who once wanted me to marry her son) to ask her how she is
then i hang up
kams comes over
he gets a messege from his girlfriend on his cell
then this babe - a indian girl - but very trashy type - comes in - just walks into the house
then she starts goinf through my makeup and picking up stuff and all
i get mnad and throw her out
kams gets mad
then theres this bihari lady (sautaal types) and her husband
they knock and he lets them in
she has fever
he lays them on my bed
im scared about who and what they are - so i get into a fight with him about it
and they all three walk out and get in a car
its pouring rain outside
i scream after kams to stay back and cry i think (how pansy - i never cry)
but they go
i feel guilty
theres this party happening and a few girls and boys are camping on my balcony
outside my bedroom window
its some 'everybody go out and have fun' kind of music
all the kids are on the road
music and lights blaring
its late
thats when I notice that the floor and ceilings are made of this kind of laced plastic strips
im scared but being brave - telling myself it will be okay and i have to live it out since im here now
anyway - then this girl - the trashy one who wacked my new dior stuff - she comes back
and says she is staying
i try to throw her out but she totally refuses to budge
i call 911
as she is leaving she is kind of sad and mad and resigned
i feel guilty
then i go to the loo
and Im crying and praying desperately
and this small girl tries to get into the house
and she bites my hand
i push her out
she bites me again and tries to get in
then I woke up ...
I wanna go home :(
YESTERDAYS POST THAT I LOST ... Yesterday :)
im so tired
called dada & kams over for dinner after years
feel like I havent slept well for ages
before that had a Blockbuster fight with Kams about our pet fighting topic (parallel parking)
i dunno
i should just give up
poor child - its not his fault
im just so dumb!
but then he is so peremptory
and we are both so ... scorp I guess! Bound to fight :)
im tired of being scared
soch na hai kya
jo hona hai hoga
chal pare hai phikre yaar dhuye mein udaake ...
lets see what happens ...
worst comes to worst ill give up and go home to daddy and live in dubai ... happily ever after ... lol
went for team birthday lunch today at mamasitos
had the Awesomest fillet mignon ... after Ages! Nice and rare and gushy bake potato (ouch ... sorry Mich) and cream (see - i know cream atleast is good)
and a big chat with janet after that about her babies. thats always feels good.
called dada & kams over for dinner after years
feel like I havent slept well for ages
before that had a Blockbuster fight with Kams about our pet fighting topic (parallel parking)
i dunno
i should just give up
poor child - its not his fault
im just so dumb!
but then he is so peremptory
and we are both so ... scorp I guess! Bound to fight :)
im tired of being scared
soch na hai kya
jo hona hai hoga
chal pare hai phikre yaar dhuye mein udaake ...
lets see what happens ...
worst comes to worst ill give up and go home to daddy and live in dubai ... happily ever after ... lol
went for team birthday lunch today at mamasitos
had the Awesomest fillet mignon ... after Ages! Nice and rare and gushy bake potato (ouch ... sorry Mich) and cream (see - i know cream atleast is good)
and a big chat with janet after that about her babies. thats always feels good.
TRIVIA BITES
since i really shouldnt be sitting here and playing with words tinkling and glittering or deep and dark ...
bcz Im way behind schedule at work
im writing about something i read sometime back ...
My fav coffee (or one of the). Discovered it by accident the first time I went to Vizag at the taj coffee shop
Its called Ristretto and not having access to the net I had to do a lot of hunting to find out what it exactly was back then
As usual when we'd go out to eat Id order something new which Ive never heard of
And my whole family (specially Munal) will pull my leg and 'predict' how it will surely be something Gross
Then if it turns out nice - ill get like one tiny atom of the whole concoction ... bcz the rest would be gone before u can saw thieving magpie
Anyway ... Ristretto was nice ... but luckily too strong to be stolen ... so I could enjoy it in piece
This is what it is ...
The strongest and most concentrated espresso drink. It is made with about half the amount of water but the same amount of coffee as a regular espresso. It is pure, intense, and wonderful in taste. Ristretto in Italian means "restricted."
You gotto have a manual machine to do this. All of the cafes dont - some have automatic
Basically the water needs to be drawn through the coffee vvvvvvverrrrrry sllllllllllllowwwwwwwly ... and it comes out 'blow ur mind' strong and a bit winey and very sweet ... but u cant have too much. bit like the ahua i used to have as a kid in syria :)
bcz Im way behind schedule at work
im writing about something i read sometime back ...
My fav coffee (or one of the). Discovered it by accident the first time I went to Vizag at the taj coffee shop
Its called Ristretto and not having access to the net I had to do a lot of hunting to find out what it exactly was back then
As usual when we'd go out to eat Id order something new which Ive never heard of
And my whole family (specially Munal) will pull my leg and 'predict' how it will surely be something Gross
Then if it turns out nice - ill get like one tiny atom of the whole concoction ... bcz the rest would be gone before u can saw thieving magpie
Anyway ... Ristretto was nice ... but luckily too strong to be stolen ... so I could enjoy it in piece
This is what it is ...
The strongest and most concentrated espresso drink. It is made with about half the amount of water but the same amount of coffee as a regular espresso. It is pure, intense, and wonderful in taste. Ristretto in Italian means "restricted."
You gotto have a manual machine to do this. All of the cafes dont - some have automatic
Basically the water needs to be drawn through the coffee vvvvvvverrrrrry sllllllllllllowwwwwwwly ... and it comes out 'blow ur mind' strong and a bit winey and very sweet ... but u cant have too much. bit like the ahua i used to have as a kid in syria :)
how we hide
our secret lives
i dont tell u that i cried
alone in bed last night
looking at the night outside
theres no one in whom you can confide
no one to leanon by your side
or was that the way I script wrote my life
maybe i wanted to give this a try
being strong and tough inside
failing that atleast outside
now theres no more light in the sky
the day has come for the sun to die
It was all a wicked lie
But even now its hard to cry
And harder still to tell someone why
our secret lives
i dont tell u that i cried
alone in bed last night
looking at the night outside
theres no one in whom you can confide
no one to leanon by your side
or was that the way I script wrote my life
maybe i wanted to give this a try
being strong and tough inside
failing that atleast outside
now theres no more light in the sky
the day has come for the sun to die
It was all a wicked lie
But even now its hard to cry
And harder still to tell someone why
listen to gulaam ali
"chamakte chaand ko toota huya taara banaa daala
meri awaargi ne hai
mujhe awaara bana daala"
and
"dil ke lootne ki sabab puchho na sabke saamne, naam aap ka bhi ayega, ye kahaani phir sahi"
hmmm ... nice!
saturday at an end
quite wasted xcept that I had mutton for the first time since getting here
boss's daughters b'day party
gult galaxy
majorly out of place and all
but then food bahaar hai toh ...
bought madaam an awesome teddy bear
was a bit tempted to whack it myself ... but self control!
"chamakte chaand ko toota huya taara banaa daala
meri awaargi ne hai
mujhe awaara bana daala"
and
"dil ke lootne ki sabab puchho na sabke saamne, naam aap ka bhi ayega, ye kahaani phir sahi"
hmmm ... nice!
saturday at an end
quite wasted xcept that I had mutton for the first time since getting here
boss's daughters b'day party
gult galaxy
majorly out of place and all
but then food bahaar hai toh ...
bought madaam an awesome teddy bear
was a bit tempted to whack it myself ... but self control!
CRAZY UPSIDE DOWN SATURDAY
saw a cute movie on oxygen last night
"women on top"
and a nicer movie day before ... last castle ... robert redford
woke up at 6AM ... quite by accident
and i dont know what possessed me but I came over to work
but havent got much done inspite of the peace all round
IMS DB is Totally mind boggling! :(
Lots to write about but no time (and when Ill have time there'll be nothing)
Wanted to write about "all over the guy" its a gay movie & just the kind I always wondered about the absence of ... sorry that sentence came out so mangled ... I mean I always wondered about why theres no gay movie where its like a normal love story but the people happen to be to guys ... well this is like that - ish
Also about this search I did on google and came up with very interesting results
And I miss bristol & my project, friends, rowing,my studio, the weather ... i even miss tesco :(
but its just a fleeting feeling. Im happy the way things are now
and i wrote two new pomes last night -will put it up sometime
blimey ... i really gotto get back to coding now!
"women on top"
and a nicer movie day before ... last castle ... robert redford
woke up at 6AM ... quite by accident
and i dont know what possessed me but I came over to work
but havent got much done inspite of the peace all round
IMS DB is Totally mind boggling! :(
Lots to write about but no time (and when Ill have time there'll be nothing)
Wanted to write about "all over the guy" its a gay movie & just the kind I always wondered about the absence of ... sorry that sentence came out so mangled ... I mean I always wondered about why theres no gay movie where its like a normal love story but the people happen to be to guys ... well this is like that - ish
Also about this search I did on google and came up with very interesting results
And I miss bristol & my project, friends, rowing,my studio, the weather ... i even miss tesco :(
but its just a fleeting feeling. Im happy the way things are now
and i wrote two new pomes last night -will put it up sometime
blimey ... i really gotto get back to coding now!
Been feeling a little wistful since the last weekend
Jinx and Adit and Chatto were all in Cal and they had all met up and partying
I called on jinx's cell and chatted with the lot ... it was so nice and so tempting at the same time!
Wish I could step into a magic mirror and walk out onto Southern Avenue :)
"It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out the void"
And then Anvi met Ad too ... that was a strange co incidence ... what a small world we live in!
I just spoke to Mich ... it was great
It was kind of like ... I forgot that I barely know her!
Bad part was that I was at work and reall bogged down so I could barely talk ...
Jinx and Adit and Chatto were all in Cal and they had all met up and partying
I called on jinx's cell and chatted with the lot ... it was so nice and so tempting at the same time!
Wish I could step into a magic mirror and walk out onto Southern Avenue :)
"It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out the void"
And then Anvi met Ad too ... that was a strange co incidence ... what a small world we live in!
I just spoke to Mich ... it was great
It was kind of like ... I forgot that I barely know her!
Bad part was that I was at work and reall bogged down so I could barely talk ...
bumped into someone i vaguely in the corridor
he said "how are you"
i said "fine thanks" while sooming past
and a thot flashed by ... whats if id said Im usually nice but get weird at times :)
or told him about my stomach ache?
---------------------------
something in Michelles post made me think of this
whats if life paused for a moment
and everything froze and u would stand 'in the perimeter' (where there r no stars) and watch with the 'calm calculas of reason'
how would it look. what wud u see?
he said "how are you"
i said "fine thanks" while sooming past
and a thot flashed by ... whats if id said Im usually nice but get weird at times :)
or told him about my stomach ache?
---------------------------
something in Michelles post made me think of this
whats if life paused for a moment
and everything froze and u would stand 'in the perimeter' (where there r no stars) and watch with the 'calm calculas of reason'
how would it look. what wud u see?
PUNE PLUS
Ive been speaking to Vani quite a bit lately
and I got a bigg-ish mail from Ghatak this morning
And I wrote a biggie to Pills yesterday
So all in all its PUNE TIMES in nostalgia land
With golden words like deccan and chit chat & FTII & Fergusan floating around in my head
In those days, when people told us crap like "these are the golden years of ur life" and "You will remember these days all your lives long"
I always thot, what crap man! I mean ... ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai lallu!
paisa nahi. hamesha bhikaario ka haal hai
at times we'd pool resources to get one vada pav
even an auto is like a luxury
holiday "getaway" start with 3 tier bliss (often unreserved & seatless) on IR (Azad Hind Express)
tumtum mein ghumo. dhup mein pako
ghar aake gaali khaao
journals / profs / orals / practicals / and EXAMS!!!!
chhhheeeeeeeeeee!
But in retrospect ... its something else all together!
pigging out on borrowed (beg / borrow / steal - been there done that) maggie in the dorm
and hanging out at Buggi's flat endless Sundays
and sneaking into FTII forever for lack of places to hang out in
and going to deccan for samosa's early sunday morning
and vani's street side friend
and me and pills going down the dorm - door to door - begging someone to donate a mafggie ka pkt to the kangaal janta :(
chhheeee - & people used to be so rude to us!
I remember somone (I think it was one of those semi localites) once asked as 2.5 bucks for a half pkt ... she said "please kal paisa de dena haan?"
And we were so shameless ... I think I would have felt really bad if it happened now! Ouch! Uss time pein kuchh laga bhi nahi hoga ... kya yedi hain ... aisa kuchh socha rahega :)
Didnt posses a music system so we were once camped outside this seniors (nandita's room) door when she was playing lucky ali
I fell in love with that album
once the second yrs janta mistook me for a fresher & ragged me ... I was in BE!
and I remember seema agarwal ... how we used to plague her
she used to squat in a corner in college (during prep leave - loadsa folk went to the empty bdg to "study") - and she'd rock back and forth and mumble to herself ratto-ing the whole book - cover to cover
and me & pills used to make fun of her so much
toh she used to say "no ya Im just like keeping it in mind"
that was hilarious
And Mona - my one & only Loci pal
Gawd she had a mom, and a house & and bed
And Foooooooooooooood!!!!
And I remember one time this babe
took an illegal night out from hostel and went to the disc
and poor child ... mtv chose that night to come filming in Pune!
Early in the morning there was this huge snap of her in Pune Plus ...
well not of her - but she figured pretty prominently :)
And the papers used to be kept on a kind of platform next to the matron desk
We couldnt do anything
So this other girl she kind of just went and sat on the paper ... it was really funny at that time.
And coming home on Azad Hind
It used to be like those school trains in Malory Towers or something
I mean almost 96 percent students
All the West Bengal and NorthEast janta in Pune going home
Music Jokes Halla ... Mad or Melancholy ... depending on the direction
and vani's M80 & Mona's sunny & Buggi's amazing Bike!
and how they seemed like the coolest in the world bcz of their great treasures
and hanging out a fergie & sagaar plaza & god knows where else to catch up with Ghatak
abnd SPDP
and me & vani & pills at Bugge's place
we knew vani was going off to the US
we used to ask her if she will mail and all
she used to say ya ofsourse I will
I remember this one time I asked her how often she wud mail me
she said everyday
but she never did!
:)
the us seemed so so far away
now i am here too, in the us
but it still seems like she is so far away at times
i guess once again - its a fn of time not place!
Those times when they pass take away so much
Now we are just old hags trying despo'ly to survive from day to day
and memories, and dreams are just a luxury, to be taken out of the attic and smiled at everyonce in a while :)
and I got a bigg-ish mail from Ghatak this morning
And I wrote a biggie to Pills yesterday
So all in all its PUNE TIMES in nostalgia land
With golden words like deccan and chit chat & FTII & Fergusan floating around in my head
In those days, when people told us crap like "these are the golden years of ur life" and "You will remember these days all your lives long"
I always thot, what crap man! I mean ... ye jeena bhi koi jeena hai lallu!
paisa nahi. hamesha bhikaario ka haal hai
at times we'd pool resources to get one vada pav
even an auto is like a luxury
holiday "getaway" start with 3 tier bliss (often unreserved & seatless) on IR (Azad Hind Express)
tumtum mein ghumo. dhup mein pako
ghar aake gaali khaao
journals / profs / orals / practicals / and EXAMS!!!!
chhhheeeeeeeeeee!
But in retrospect ... its something else all together!
pigging out on borrowed (beg / borrow / steal - been there done that) maggie in the dorm
and hanging out at Buggi's flat endless Sundays
and sneaking into FTII forever for lack of places to hang out in
and going to deccan for samosa's early sunday morning
and vani's street side friend
and me and pills going down the dorm - door to door - begging someone to donate a mafggie ka pkt to the kangaal janta :(
chhheeee - & people used to be so rude to us!
I remember somone (I think it was one of those semi localites) once asked as 2.5 bucks for a half pkt ... she said "please kal paisa de dena haan?"
And we were so shameless ... I think I would have felt really bad if it happened now! Ouch! Uss time pein kuchh laga bhi nahi hoga ... kya yedi hain ... aisa kuchh socha rahega :)
Didnt posses a music system so we were once camped outside this seniors (nandita's room) door when she was playing lucky ali
I fell in love with that album
once the second yrs janta mistook me for a fresher & ragged me ... I was in BE!
and I remember seema agarwal ... how we used to plague her
she used to squat in a corner in college (during prep leave - loadsa folk went to the empty bdg to "study") - and she'd rock back and forth and mumble to herself ratto-ing the whole book - cover to cover
and me & pills used to make fun of her so much
toh she used to say "no ya Im just like keeping it in mind"
that was hilarious
And Mona - my one & only Loci pal
Gawd she had a mom, and a house & and bed
And Foooooooooooooood!!!!
And I remember one time this babe
took an illegal night out from hostel and went to the disc
and poor child ... mtv chose that night to come filming in Pune!
Early in the morning there was this huge snap of her in Pune Plus ...
well not of her - but she figured pretty prominently :)
And the papers used to be kept on a kind of platform next to the matron desk
We couldnt do anything
So this other girl she kind of just went and sat on the paper ... it was really funny at that time.
And coming home on Azad Hind
It used to be like those school trains in Malory Towers or something
I mean almost 96 percent students
All the West Bengal and NorthEast janta in Pune going home
Music Jokes Halla ... Mad or Melancholy ... depending on the direction
and vani's M80 & Mona's sunny & Buggi's amazing Bike!
and how they seemed like the coolest in the world bcz of their great treasures
and hanging out a fergie & sagaar plaza & god knows where else to catch up with Ghatak
abnd SPDP
and me & vani & pills at Bugge's place
we knew vani was going off to the US
we used to ask her if she will mail and all
she used to say ya ofsourse I will
I remember this one time I asked her how often she wud mail me
she said everyday
but she never did!
:)
the us seemed so so far away
now i am here too, in the us
but it still seems like she is so far away at times
i guess once again - its a fn of time not place!
Those times when they pass take away so much
Now we are just old hags trying despo'ly to survive from day to day
and memories, and dreams are just a luxury, to be taken out of the attic and smiled at everyonce in a while :)
why do weekends go so fast
i made beef steak
and shrimp curry
and chana
hogged like a pig
watched pride & prejudice, sense & sensiblity, new best friend and some other movies I cant remember
and a i dream of jeenie and bewitched
talked to adit and chatto & jinx in cal who were all having a whale of a time together
talked to ma & baba and munal
sunday, i slept in the afternoon. meant to just "lie down for a few moments"
but slept for 3 hours
didnt read the stuff id got back from work
but i guess its okay
chatted with diya (atlast)
and subir & asmita & rahul briefly
saw harry potter till late at night which was bliss
kams & dada went to dallas ... quite accidentally found out
its sad at times when those u thot of as ur friends suddenly drop u
and u find out always too late
but then, its okay
i had loads of fun at home :)
I find it immensely silly that i like harry potter (and jeenie & bewitched and ajooba)
but i do ... find them magical :)
i made beef steak
and shrimp curry
and chana
hogged like a pig
watched pride & prejudice, sense & sensiblity, new best friend and some other movies I cant remember
and a i dream of jeenie and bewitched
talked to adit and chatto & jinx in cal who were all having a whale of a time together
talked to ma & baba and munal
sunday, i slept in the afternoon. meant to just "lie down for a few moments"
but slept for 3 hours
didnt read the stuff id got back from work
but i guess its okay
chatted with diya (atlast)
and subir & asmita & rahul briefly
saw harry potter till late at night which was bliss
kams & dada went to dallas ... quite accidentally found out
its sad at times when those u thot of as ur friends suddenly drop u
and u find out always too late
but then, its okay
i had loads of fun at home :)
I find it immensely silly that i like harry potter (and jeenie & bewitched and ajooba)
but i do ... find them magical :)
Why worry ...
Theres that strange light in the sky again
It rained today like heavens heart shattered
And thunder like it screamed in rage
And lightning flashed like the look of still wet eyes trying to smile
Some where, so many other people, under this same sky
Some where, the sun laughs down like melted gold
Some where, theres silent snow
But here, today, theres that strange light in the sky ...
PM
"Im pregnant again, with hopes for the morrow
But ghosts of the past call, and I must follow
Though my heart despairs, and dreams of the shore
And of laying down now to rest forever more
Yet a tiny sunbeam, still comes dancing in
Everytime I think, the end will begin
Playful like a cherub, only just born
Unsteady yet ready, to take life by the horn"
Ray S Guelph,
It rained today like heavens heart shattered
And thunder like it screamed in rage
And lightning flashed like the look of still wet eyes trying to smile
Some where, so many other people, under this same sky
Some where, the sun laughs down like melted gold
Some where, theres silent snow
But here, today, theres that strange light in the sky ...
PM
"Im pregnant again, with hopes for the morrow
But ghosts of the past call, and I must follow
Though my heart despairs, and dreams of the shore
And of laying down now to rest forever more
Yet a tiny sunbeam, still comes dancing in
Everytime I think, the end will begin
Playful like a cherub, only just born
Unsteady yet ready, to take life by the horn"
Ray S Guelph,
LIFE IS SOMETIMES MORE THAN THIS, LIFE IS ORANGE
Im in a strange mood today
let me describe it this way
feel like spring
like I want to sing
dancing in the rain
sleeping under the sky
laughing again
dont see why
Guess its a pink and orange day
with a dark blue inlay
feel like running or crying
or loving everything
let me describe it this way
feel like spring
like I want to sing
dancing in the rain
sleeping under the sky
laughing again
dont see why
Guess its a pink and orange day
with a dark blue inlay
feel like running or crying
or loving everything
lazy lazy saturday
i cleaned the kitchen
sorted the shelves
watched four weddings and a funeral
wrote an ode to chatto sace juls and addi
and received two interesting mails
and heard jazz and read auden ... wow!
days go past faster
as we grow older
then evening rushes in
and night will begin
holidays are lazy times
i listen to my new wind chimes
then evening rushes in
and night will begin
sit& think of times gone by
sometimes i laugh, at times i cry
& then evening rushes in
and another night will begin
i cleaned the kitchen
sorted the shelves
watched four weddings and a funeral
wrote an ode to chatto sace juls and addi
and received two interesting mails
and heard jazz and read auden ... wow!
days go past faster
as we grow older
then evening rushes in
and night will begin
holidays are lazy times
i listen to my new wind chimes
then evening rushes in
and night will begin
sit& think of times gone by
sometimes i laugh, at times i cry
& then evening rushes in
and another night will begin
I bought a car this weekend
pretty excited about it
its a silver mauve pretty little corolla
okay - so its not so little!
Got a big mail from mich today
chatting with her over mails
in fact i got a load of mails today
prantik, taj, subir and rajiv and .... VANI. It was Great!
Chatted with her, or anyone for that matter, for so long
after ages
And its never the same as with that old a friend
was a time when vani was a new kid on my block
now it seems like i know her forever :)
vani is my friend from college
dont know how we became such good friends bcz she was so maddeningly sane and i was so predictably whacko!
those were the days my friends ... :)
theres something about cummins, something about being in asia's only all female engg college
Totally diff kind of experience
Muchu ... and his SE DBMS classes
Vicku and his Cohen ...
Crazy how I dont remember anything I learned but remember all the text books we used
and in somecases names of chapters as well!!!
vani was my first flat mate
and we talked for hours
though we werent very close in a strange way i guess we were
I remember the time I sent her a card which said Im feeling so low ... please tell me how wonderful I am
and she sent me a whole packet of painted rainbows and letters and quotes and lots of stuff
Vani, Pills, Latix, Mona, Sohini, Ghatak, Ftii, karvenagar, deccen, m80's ... miss college :)
Its really hot here these days
Its a perfect light blue sky out
whith big cotton wool clouds floating around
I woke up in time after years and years yesterday morning
6:30 am
subir called me up and woke me
what luxury - international wake up calls!!!
I read news, drank coffee, washed my hair, and wore a suit!
At work everyone was asking me ... why r u dressed up today
And I was like - bcz I woke up early
:)
Woke up early today as well, but then I slept early as well
12:30 ish
Watched Emiril Live on TV
Pretty good stuff
I learned about a whole lot of 'erbs
Thn I watched the good eats or something
It was the stew special
Hell I cant cook something that takes 6 hours!
And you dont even bury it under the ground and forget about it!!!
What else?
God ... this post feels like Im writing a mail to my mom
I had my first driving class yesterday
with a professional teacher and all
I was feeling very dissillusioned
Ill never be able to do it
Its started reading the new book
its pretty nice
kind of gloomy but nice
Got a new project
Its pretty hectic
So maybe I wont write on the blog for a while!
Dunno ...
pretty excited about it
its a silver mauve pretty little corolla
okay - so its not so little!
Got a big mail from mich today
chatting with her over mails
in fact i got a load of mails today
prantik, taj, subir and rajiv and .... VANI. It was Great!
Chatted with her, or anyone for that matter, for so long
after ages
And its never the same as with that old a friend
was a time when vani was a new kid on my block
now it seems like i know her forever :)
vani is my friend from college
dont know how we became such good friends bcz she was so maddeningly sane and i was so predictably whacko!
those were the days my friends ... :)
theres something about cummins, something about being in asia's only all female engg college
Totally diff kind of experience
Muchu ... and his SE DBMS classes
Vicku and his Cohen ...
Crazy how I dont remember anything I learned but remember all the text books we used
and in somecases names of chapters as well!!!
vani was my first flat mate
and we talked for hours
though we werent very close in a strange way i guess we were
I remember the time I sent her a card which said Im feeling so low ... please tell me how wonderful I am
and she sent me a whole packet of painted rainbows and letters and quotes and lots of stuff
Vani, Pills, Latix, Mona, Sohini, Ghatak, Ftii, karvenagar, deccen, m80's ... miss college :)
Its really hot here these days
Its a perfect light blue sky out
whith big cotton wool clouds floating around
I woke up in time after years and years yesterday morning
6:30 am
subir called me up and woke me
what luxury - international wake up calls!!!
I read news, drank coffee, washed my hair, and wore a suit!
At work everyone was asking me ... why r u dressed up today
And I was like - bcz I woke up early
:)
Woke up early today as well, but then I slept early as well
12:30 ish
Watched Emiril Live on TV
Pretty good stuff
I learned about a whole lot of 'erbs
Thn I watched the good eats or something
It was the stew special
Hell I cant cook something that takes 6 hours!
And you dont even bury it under the ground and forget about it!!!
What else?
God ... this post feels like Im writing a mail to my mom
I had my first driving class yesterday
with a professional teacher and all
I was feeling very dissillusioned
Ill never be able to do it
Its started reading the new book
its pretty nice
kind of gloomy but nice
Got a new project
Its pretty hectic
So maybe I wont write on the blog for a while!
Dunno ...
owner of a lonely heart
is so much better than a
owner of a broken heart
but still
today ...
felt strange
after a long time
really felt
like ... dunno
anyway ... all bull and crap
its a hard days night
really been working like a dog
should but cant sleep like a log
feel alive after ages
maybe its the two mamoth chats I had
dunno ....
but Im happy ... dunno why. dunno for how long. dunno what it means
but who cares, anyway.
is so much better than a
owner of a broken heart
but still
today ...
felt strange
after a long time
really felt
like ... dunno
anyway ... all bull and crap
its a hard days night
really been working like a dog
should but cant sleep like a log
feel alive after ages
maybe its the two mamoth chats I had
dunno ....
but Im happy ... dunno why. dunno for how long. dunno what it means
but who cares, anyway.
and then i lost my lenses
i guess my lenses, like me, are gypsies to the core
can never stay put for long in one place
every once in a while they dissapear
then Ill search all of around inside in eyes - but cant find them
then suddenly they will pop up from somewhere
dont have a clue what happens to them inbetween
But this time it was really strange
me and kams forgot our fight and searched all over the car i was so sure they had dropped out
no luck
then I came home and fell asleep
then we went to the lib at 8 or 9 ... suddenly I feel something in my eyes ... and guess what it is!!!
i guess my lenses, like me, are gypsies to the core
can never stay put for long in one place
every once in a while they dissapear
then Ill search all of around inside in eyes - but cant find them
then suddenly they will pop up from somewhere
dont have a clue what happens to them inbetween
But this time it was really strange
me and kams forgot our fight and searched all over the car i was so sure they had dropped out
no luck
then I came home and fell asleep
then we went to the lib at 8 or 9 ... suddenly I feel something in my eyes ... and guess what it is!!!
blimeywhataday!
one of those when it hits u and keeps hitting without a single break to cach ur breath between knocks
i was feeling proud that i got through the weekend mishapless
hah hah ... spoke to soon hit my middle finger in the library returned books box lid and I think I got a hairline fracturein my knuckle
i had one major blasting session with the senior mgr about a horrendous issue at work which kept me in all sat & sun (thats why i didnt break or bun or split and body part)
i missed the car guy when I really needed to meet up with him
had 3 different dealines i was juggling
AND i got a production problem .... a weird production problem!
and this was the unkindest cut of them all ... as I left I saw the cute-guy-from-starbucks in the lift coming in with this knockout babe
patched with kams ... but went back to fight mode in 3 hours flat ... over the tv this time
urrrrrrghhhh! splendid how thoroughly u can get $%^& in one ^%@^&^ day ...
one of those when it hits u and keeps hitting without a single break to cach ur breath between knocks
i was feeling proud that i got through the weekend mishapless
hah hah ... spoke to soon hit my middle finger in the library returned books box lid and I think I got a hairline fracturein my knuckle
i had one major blasting session with the senior mgr about a horrendous issue at work which kept me in all sat & sun (thats why i didnt break or bun or split and body part)
i missed the car guy when I really needed to meet up with him
had 3 different dealines i was juggling
AND i got a production problem .... a weird production problem!
and this was the unkindest cut of them all ... as I left I saw the cute-guy-from-starbucks in the lift coming in with this knockout babe
patched with kams ... but went back to fight mode in 3 hours flat ... over the tv this time
urrrrrrghhhh! splendid how thoroughly u can get $%^& in one ^%@^&^ day ...
its a season of Re - marraiges
every time i call home recently i hear about someone getting (re)married
and i go ... again! and ma says uff u dont remember anything they split up ages ago ...
im very bad at remembering the 'social events' which ma pours into my ears everytime i call
i forget people got married, split up, had kids ... or even died
i keep making a faux pas which earns my momma's wrath
like she will tell me so & so had a kid ... and Ill be like wow! hep ... single mom and all!
and she will be like ... u gaadhi she got married years ago ... u never listen to a word i say
anyway ... its rolled round to weekend again
yesterday i had to stay at work late
we have half days on friday ... we work from 8 to 12 (8 - 6 for other days) but i had to stay late ... till 3pm
still atleast i got lots done in the solitude
people yell a lot at work here
and i cant concentrate
saw 3 cute movies on telly
she devil, pie in the sky and say anything
well, bits and pieces of 3 nice movies at least :)
now im back to my book (100yrs) and writing silly poetry
today i woke up from a bad dream
dreamt that munal had died ... then suddenly it became rahul then it became chatto and it was really sad & scary
called up them up but couldnt get a hold of any of them so i just woke up and drank some coffee
yuck ... 8 am on a saturday is so dreadfully early to be awake
for some reason i miss my rowing club in bristol
this time of a sat i wud be there
it wud be an ungodly hour of the morning
it was a bit outside the main town
had to take a bus then walk from the lock, down the river, to the club
the birds would all be up and gossiping in the trees
we wud be silent and sleepy eyed
and the river wud be just waking up, smoking with swirling mist
on the opp bank there was invariably a fisherman
and some ducks floated about in the river
once we got into the river we had to row up to the ford and then back again all the way to the lock and back again in endless repeats
ur not allowed to 'chitchat', the airs 'nippy' and everything is 'brilliant' and its a 'splendid' time we'd all have!
then we'd get out after ages and all troop into the bar upstairs for fried bacon and buns and tea and lots of gossip and fun
after which we would go home or go out for beers ...
it was great :)
every time i call home recently i hear about someone getting (re)married
and i go ... again! and ma says uff u dont remember anything they split up ages ago ...
im very bad at remembering the 'social events' which ma pours into my ears everytime i call
i forget people got married, split up, had kids ... or even died
i keep making a faux pas which earns my momma's wrath
like she will tell me so & so had a kid ... and Ill be like wow! hep ... single mom and all!
and she will be like ... u gaadhi she got married years ago ... u never listen to a word i say
anyway ... its rolled round to weekend again
yesterday i had to stay at work late
we have half days on friday ... we work from 8 to 12 (8 - 6 for other days) but i had to stay late ... till 3pm
still atleast i got lots done in the solitude
people yell a lot at work here
and i cant concentrate
saw 3 cute movies on telly
she devil, pie in the sky and say anything
well, bits and pieces of 3 nice movies at least :)
now im back to my book (100yrs) and writing silly poetry
today i woke up from a bad dream
dreamt that munal had died ... then suddenly it became rahul then it became chatto and it was really sad & scary
called up them up but couldnt get a hold of any of them so i just woke up and drank some coffee
yuck ... 8 am on a saturday is so dreadfully early to be awake
for some reason i miss my rowing club in bristol
this time of a sat i wud be there
it wud be an ungodly hour of the morning
it was a bit outside the main town
had to take a bus then walk from the lock, down the river, to the club
the birds would all be up and gossiping in the trees
we wud be silent and sleepy eyed
and the river wud be just waking up, smoking with swirling mist
on the opp bank there was invariably a fisherman
and some ducks floated about in the river
once we got into the river we had to row up to the ford and then back again all the way to the lock and back again in endless repeats
ur not allowed to 'chitchat', the airs 'nippy' and everything is 'brilliant' and its a 'splendid' time we'd all have!
then we'd get out after ages and all troop into the bar upstairs for fried bacon and buns and tea and lots of gossip and fun
after which we would go home or go out for beers ...
it was great :)
mad mad day at work
so many deadlines all bundled up 2gether
and something really whacky happened ... but i dont think ill blog that
then I came home and cooked some weird spinach & garlic with loads of olive oil
when kams comes over says he's hungry
so Im back to the stove at 10 making chicken & rice ...
sad life
but i saw nine months on tv
old but sweet
i remember the first time i saw it
got a lot of nice memories
miss teddy ...
so many deadlines all bundled up 2gether
and something really whacky happened ... but i dont think ill blog that
then I came home and cooked some weird spinach & garlic with loads of olive oil
when kams comes over says he's hungry
so Im back to the stove at 10 making chicken & rice ...
sad life
but i saw nine months on tv
old but sweet
i remember the first time i saw it
got a lot of nice memories
miss teddy ...