i seek something more, something elusive, like silver sand. now I think I found it, and there, its gone again.
i had never been able to finish reading anna karenina. its too sad. yesterday someone let slip that she dies in the end.
i feel so sad ... yet its fitting. anna had to die. as maggie died (mill on the floss). as the same someone said, when you make love your god, that love becomes a demon.
then you either have to run away from it, or if you cant, then you have to die yourrself
that is why patricia (breathless) turns him in. she sees that once she falls under his spell there will be no escape, no "she" left
that is why Lucy dies
if not they would become what heathcliff became
i think its a disease, letting someone else become a part of you too much & for too long. its a natural & important capacity to be able to (mother child, start of affair, community bonding) grown dis proportionate & malignant
like a cancer
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