cruel Intentions

In the end, thats all your left with, arent you? One more layer of accusers lined up to chorus in your head, asking you how you could have been so blind. If it had not been so sad, it would have been so funny. If it didnt hurt so much, it would be funny. Actually, strike that. It is so funny. The last scene in the movie, where everyone gets together to laugh at the fool, is always funny. Pity I never had much of a sense of humour.

It's raining again. Raining through the night. I like the sound of rain on all those different surfaces. it's an excercise of sorts, to lie here and try to sort out the different sounds into different surfaces. The clouds blank out the moon outside. At midnight, it's finally dark even here.

I went to sleep wanting to see romeo and juliet. and woke up to the rain. kind of appropriate. it's that one scene that stuck in my mind. him on the beach. i wanna, be someone else or i'll explode ...

Was very taken by cruel intentions, lately. It was beautiful. Woke up missing. It was so strange walking into the movie to find those lines i used to love on the wall but which used to be orphaned in my head :)

Watched it, or rather, the song, in a loop for a long while and then went for a long walk. I think these midnight head sorting walks will be what I miss the most, were I ever to leave this place. Or would I? When I am confused, I walk to the hills. Conveniently situated in my backyard, at the present.


I am color blind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside

I am ready
taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside

I am ready
I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside

I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine