Again

the parts of me you most recently touched
miss you already, the withdrawal hits first there

there's something uniquely silly about the way we fight
but this time was specially nice. selfishly, reassuring

once in a while i am purposely mean.
like an idle stretching, of my favourite muscle

once in a while,
i'm swept away by my quietly banked anger

how can you not see
what you are slowly doing to me

how can you not know
what you have always meant to me. so silly

still, even as your words lash out to slap me in the face
and even as the cuts bleed, and the scars form, and the injuries are being filed away

even then, some sleeping corner of my mind, seperate and watching
is still reaching out to you

i hate you. i love you. i kill you. i forget you
but its always you. how can you doubt me

you, who dance to so many songs
you, who smile into so many eyes,

and come home to me eachtime
and say that you still love me.

how did i let this happen to me
how did i come back to this place

you make love
to your many loves
in front of me. every day
and you say you love me

in this borrowed moment, with this borrowed love
with this fleeting shared expression, how much faith can one grow