i found this somewhere on my home page. i enjoy reading my own words. at times. is that funny or weird.
I did always believe that the songs that suddenly pop up in ur head are pulled up by our subconscious bcz its trying to say something .... TO us or maybe just mumbling out loud??? Anyway ... last few days I kept listening to "smoke on the water" but I didnt make any connection till right now ... you gotto have a really macabre sense of humour for this to hit ur funny bone ...
This song is my own mp3 version, which is a live recording, btw and starts with Rod Evans Screeeeeeeeeching "I know this seems like a devilish ploy But its one way to bring the proceedings to an end ...."
song in my head today ... Jesus Dont Want Me For A Sunbeam ... except that it comes out like jesus dont want me anymore ... why does it feel like the end of the world? when ur sad, u feel so alone ... isolated. and u laugh and crack dumb jokes. and hope no one notices ... but it just goes on hurting. what could u say. what cud u do ... how can i save her?
anyway ... on the lighter (?) side also found this on the site ...
You know there are somethings I love so much they make my heart ache for a few isolated moments at times ... like some words like cerullean & fey, like a few songs ... creep / love hurts / wicked game / jealous guy / romeo-juliet ... like ristretto coffee ;) and some flowers or sitting in the open in a isolated place at night ... while the world sleeps and u can kid ur self into beliveing theres no one else alive anywhere, anyplace ... like the pool of water I had once seen going from pune to bombay ... it was like a sheet of metal ... it looked so solid ... like how a little girl had once smiled at me on a bus in bristol at a time when I had been missing munal like mad ... I just got on and she looked up and smiled ... like we were supposed to meet up there andshe had been waiting ... she had a pink bow in her hair ... will I forget .. like some poems ... like "jenny loved me" I read it on the net, alone one night and I cried and I couldnt stop. I couldnt stop.
and another soul stirring memory. I was walking home from the bus stop in bristol one day. balmy vening. winds blowing all around. this is near the city centre and used to talk all kinds of weird by lanes ... a new one each time & there were so many! god I loved that city so. anyway, so its about 9 pm and the sky is just about begging to fade to darker shades ... Im walking ... its cold ... and I have one of those "I'm all alone in this world & thank god" feelings. Im walking by this huge church and SUDDENLY there are lights inside & the bells start chiming .. I cant explain this ... but it was heavenly. The sounds of the bells floated all around in the air till I felt like I was dancing in a cloud of song & the whole world was so beautiful and I was SO GRATEFUL I was alive & alone & free
no comp. cant write much. did some poems but they are still in the notebook. will type them out sometime soon.
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