All good things must end
But then
Bad things pass too
There was storm here this week
The 3 wind chimes went crazy
I felt it coming and then it was here
I broke on of my wind chimes
I dont miss it, but it feels strange to see it hanging there
Useless broken not dead but quite 'gone'
It just doesnt work anymore
But still, it was such a beautiful storm to watch
Beautiful, long and grand and glorious
I suppose if you hang out glass windchimes u must be ready to see them break sometimes
NEEL NIRBAASHON
Im on a chandrabindu trip
Thats a bengali rock band and one of my favourites
The song in my head today is Neel Nirbashon ...
Its a bout one of those days when u feel strange and kind of lost in the mind mazes between happy and sad and angry and lost ... blue devilled ... thats what I am
Im not depressed or upset or anything ... just gort a queer empty feeling ... like somethings gonna happen, like the calm before the storm
A storm is brewing ...
Even now my 10 yr younger kid sis can spook my by sitting in a dark corner and rocking on her heels and chanting "doomsdayiscoming" ... I actually get spooked :)
I miss her. Havent spoken to her in days and days and days ... :(
Miss my nice room back home (which is entirely sapna's fault :)
and my dogs
and my friends
but its gonna pass in a couple of hours I know
So I just got to stay calm and think of all the upcoming excitements in store ...
meeting a friend this weekend
that should be fun
got a very interesting bug to be solved which shud also be xciting ... doing a mainframe job after ages
Thats a bengali rock band and one of my favourites
The song in my head today is Neel Nirbashon ...
Its a bout one of those days when u feel strange and kind of lost in the mind mazes between happy and sad and angry and lost ... blue devilled ... thats what I am
Im not depressed or upset or anything ... just gort a queer empty feeling ... like somethings gonna happen, like the calm before the storm
A storm is brewing ...
Even now my 10 yr younger kid sis can spook my by sitting in a dark corner and rocking on her heels and chanting "doomsdayiscoming" ... I actually get spooked :)
I miss her. Havent spoken to her in days and days and days ... :(
Miss my nice room back home (which is entirely sapna's fault :)
and my dogs
and my friends
but its gonna pass in a couple of hours I know
So I just got to stay calm and think of all the upcoming excitements in store ...
meeting a friend this weekend
that should be fun
got a very interesting bug to be solved which shud also be xciting ... doing a mainframe job after ages
THE DETAILS
we wokeup crack at dawn and headed for the airport
flew into bufallo (after 8hrs) and straight into a screw up with the car bookings
i was in a corner lost to the world (possesed by love and other demons)
when i suddenly realised the boys seemed to be taking forever to 'sort out things'
getting up to investigate, i discovered the reason ... BOMB at the Desk!
anyway 'things having been sorted' we headed off to the fall, or the falls
by the time we found our way there, the predicted 1.5 hr journey had turned out to be 3 or 4 hours but we got there and met up with yet more boys, friends of the original boys
by then Im Dying to get there and quite beat with tiredness
landed up on the observatory ... it took my breath away
i knew the thing was huge but i never dreamt it could be of such giant proportions
stretched out in front was the niagra river, across which u could see the canada border and some brightly lit streets
and falling into the river those massive water falls ...
u could only see two from there ... the main falls and the maid of the mist
it was misty indeed
looked like a a fine white fog hung over the whole thing
and the water rushed down with mad force, hurtling into the river below
for some obscure reason, it reminded me of charlies chocolate factory
it was almost closing time that day, so we went of for a meal
and came back at 9 for a spectacular fire work and light show courtsey the 4th of July
they had lit of the falls in red and blue lights in different parts
and teh fireworks went off from both sides with great pomp
lasted quite a while
but by the end of it i was too exhausted to be enjoying much
we hadnt booked our hotel rooms in advance so it was a insanely expensive when we did find a place
the boys shared but I had to shell out 100 bucks (and then tax) for a lousy non ac room
but who cares, I just plonked dead on the sheets and was off to noddy land
next day we went back to the falls early in the morning
or as early as the boys could wake up after their midnight boose fiesta :)
fisrt thing we went for was the cruise ... a boat ride which takes you flying on the mist, along the main falls and what felt like straight into the guts of the second one, the maid of the mist.
they gave us huge BLUE plastic macs to keep us as dry as possible, given the circumstances
as we started of, we were standing at the helm of the boat, we went past the main falls pretty close by and we could see ant like figures which seemed to be climbing up the hills right next to the main falls in YELLOW macs. Soon the visibilty was almost down to zero and the sound o water roaring was like thunder in our ears. before we knew it we were almost in the middle of the horseshoe shaped giant. The spray of the falling water was so strong that it felt like standing in pouring rain (or a hi tech shower ;). after a while the boat turned and we came back to the shore, still a little dazed by the experience.
Or next event was the cave of the wind. After waiting in a endlessly weaving line (once more full of desis) we were taken up by a elevator and given the YELLOW macs and some rubber shoes. Thus kitted and set up ... we went into the cave of the winds. No cave this. But a string of steps along a ramp like structure built around the main water fall, another giant, ending in a ledge that jutted right into the water fall. felt like a raj kapoor movie, standing there soaking in the water spray and the atmosphere.
After this we were suppose to go for a ballon ride, but it was cancelled bcz of high winds so we got back to the car and headed to new jersey. Drove for 8 hrs and got there around 10. On the way, we passed thru Syracuse where my mom went to college. It was a Big moment for me. Id heard of this place like a legend all my life. "aamra jokhun Syracuse e chhilaam ..." began so many stories. Felt like a fairy tale actually being there.
In New Jersey we woke up a punju shop guy and ate some nice indian food. then we went to sujits place and bedded down for the night. Next day we headed off for New York. We drove to the station and took a train into the city. Once there, our first stop was the Empire State. It felt for the first time that I was actually here in 'AMERICA'. Feeling like a totally excited gaonwalla, I climbed to the roof top observatory and did the round with my audio guide. It was quite an experience. The audio guide spun off stories and history & geaography and pointed out famous bdgs and I gazed star struck making associations with the settings of all the books and movies I had ever seen.
After Empire State we went for a 3 hour cruise around manhatten. It also took us "face 2 face" with 'Lady Liberty' the tpur guides words, not mine. There was a tour guide there too, telling us about the buildings again some history and who lived where. I furiously took snaps of everything, but I must confess, now looking at the snaps I cant tell Katherine Hepburns house from Tom Smiths!
Next we went to the Central Park. Everyone was tired as hell and I had a tough time convincing them we had to see CP too. But I made it and we went & I saw 2 guys making out on a park bench and the fence from devils advocate. Looked much smaller tho :)
By the time they dragged me away from there we were dead tired and faced the 8 hrs drive back. We were all wishing we had had the fore thot to get our return tkts from ny and cud have stayed there the night thus chking out times sqr in all its glory ... but spilt milk and all that ...
Drove back. Almost got lost courtsey yahoo maps. But finally made it back and loaded our weary bodies into the plane back home. This was 1 of the hi lites of the trip. The plane was almost toy sized and u cudnt hv stud up strt in it. And it was a rather bumpy ride back home. Besides that un eventful ...
Got back. Went off to sleep. Bunked office and then back to routine again :(
Planning for Grand Canyon chaalu ho jaaye!
flew into bufallo (after 8hrs) and straight into a screw up with the car bookings
i was in a corner lost to the world (possesed by love and other demons)
when i suddenly realised the boys seemed to be taking forever to 'sort out things'
getting up to investigate, i discovered the reason ... BOMB at the Desk!
anyway 'things having been sorted' we headed off to the fall, or the falls
by the time we found our way there, the predicted 1.5 hr journey had turned out to be 3 or 4 hours but we got there and met up with yet more boys, friends of the original boys
by then Im Dying to get there and quite beat with tiredness
landed up on the observatory ... it took my breath away
i knew the thing was huge but i never dreamt it could be of such giant proportions
stretched out in front was the niagra river, across which u could see the canada border and some brightly lit streets
and falling into the river those massive water falls ...
u could only see two from there ... the main falls and the maid of the mist
it was misty indeed
looked like a a fine white fog hung over the whole thing
and the water rushed down with mad force, hurtling into the river below
for some obscure reason, it reminded me of charlies chocolate factory
it was almost closing time that day, so we went of for a meal
and came back at 9 for a spectacular fire work and light show courtsey the 4th of July
they had lit of the falls in red and blue lights in different parts
and teh fireworks went off from both sides with great pomp
lasted quite a while
but by the end of it i was too exhausted to be enjoying much
we hadnt booked our hotel rooms in advance so it was a insanely expensive when we did find a place
the boys shared but I had to shell out 100 bucks (and then tax) for a lousy non ac room
but who cares, I just plonked dead on the sheets and was off to noddy land
next day we went back to the falls early in the morning
or as early as the boys could wake up after their midnight boose fiesta :)
fisrt thing we went for was the cruise ... a boat ride which takes you flying on the mist, along the main falls and what felt like straight into the guts of the second one, the maid of the mist.
they gave us huge BLUE plastic macs to keep us as dry as possible, given the circumstances
as we started of, we were standing at the helm of the boat, we went past the main falls pretty close by and we could see ant like figures which seemed to be climbing up the hills right next to the main falls in YELLOW macs. Soon the visibilty was almost down to zero and the sound o water roaring was like thunder in our ears. before we knew it we were almost in the middle of the horseshoe shaped giant. The spray of the falling water was so strong that it felt like standing in pouring rain (or a hi tech shower ;). after a while the boat turned and we came back to the shore, still a little dazed by the experience.
Or next event was the cave of the wind. After waiting in a endlessly weaving line (once more full of desis) we were taken up by a elevator and given the YELLOW macs and some rubber shoes. Thus kitted and set up ... we went into the cave of the winds. No cave this. But a string of steps along a ramp like structure built around the main water fall, another giant, ending in a ledge that jutted right into the water fall. felt like a raj kapoor movie, standing there soaking in the water spray and the atmosphere.
After this we were suppose to go for a ballon ride, but it was cancelled bcz of high winds so we got back to the car and headed to new jersey. Drove for 8 hrs and got there around 10. On the way, we passed thru Syracuse where my mom went to college. It was a Big moment for me. Id heard of this place like a legend all my life. "aamra jokhun Syracuse e chhilaam ..." began so many stories. Felt like a fairy tale actually being there.
In New Jersey we woke up a punju shop guy and ate some nice indian food. then we went to sujits place and bedded down for the night. Next day we headed off for New York. We drove to the station and took a train into the city. Once there, our first stop was the Empire State. It felt for the first time that I was actually here in 'AMERICA'. Feeling like a totally excited gaonwalla, I climbed to the roof top observatory and did the round with my audio guide. It was quite an experience. The audio guide spun off stories and history & geaography and pointed out famous bdgs and I gazed star struck making associations with the settings of all the books and movies I had ever seen.
After Empire State we went for a 3 hour cruise around manhatten. It also took us "face 2 face" with 'Lady Liberty' the tpur guides words, not mine. There was a tour guide there too, telling us about the buildings again some history and who lived where. I furiously took snaps of everything, but I must confess, now looking at the snaps I cant tell Katherine Hepburns house from Tom Smiths!
Next we went to the Central Park. Everyone was tired as hell and I had a tough time convincing them we had to see CP too. But I made it and we went & I saw 2 guys making out on a park bench and the fence from devils advocate. Looked much smaller tho :)
By the time they dragged me away from there we were dead tired and faced the 8 hrs drive back. We were all wishing we had had the fore thot to get our return tkts from ny and cud have stayed there the night thus chking out times sqr in all its glory ... but spilt milk and all that ...
Drove back. Almost got lost courtsey yahoo maps. But finally made it back and loaded our weary bodies into the plane back home. This was 1 of the hi lites of the trip. The plane was almost toy sized and u cudnt hv stud up strt in it. And it was a rather bumpy ride back home. Besides that un eventful ...
Got back. Went off to sleep. Bunked office and then back to routine again :(
Planning for Grand Canyon chaalu ho jaaye!
'TRIP'PING AND 'FALL'ING
it was mind blowing!
i thought it will be a nice waterfall but it was so grand it felt like more
now i know why the niagara is one of the seven wonders and why its so talked about
its scale is terrific
and what i liked best was the way they have set up all the trips and avctivities so that ur thrown right into it so to speak and yet everything is very safe and controlled
i went with kamlesh and dada and i must say that kamlesh really impressed me. ALL that driving single handed ly - 8 hrs or so at a time! he's some dude. tho for me ... anything he does is usually super cool ... even then I was (re) impressed by the man ... he's something else alright!
after we got out from there, I was dying to share it with someone ... all that excitement was bubbling up like champagne and killing me. so i called up rahul. dont know anyone else in the us so i invariably plague him with my calls ... and told him all about it.
after that there was the new york trip
what can I say
for a 'gaowallah' like me it was really happening
everything I saw, everywhere I went ... i was i was like staring and walking around with a blisfully abest happy dazed expression and associating ... this is where barney lived, this is where richard went to work, this is where florentina's dog got run over ... all the books, all the stories i had ever read seemed to have come alive and it was really exciting. felt like a kid all over again.
i went to the empire state bdg. and bcz it was a clear day I could see till very far
then I went for a boat trip around the manhatten burrough and we passed by statue of liberty, ellis island and the old railway stn. after that we wenmt to central park and there we saw 2 guys making out on a park bench
missed buro/ jinx/ chatto/ ma ... bcz theyve been there probably ... dunno
reminded me a bit of uk.
i thought it will be a nice waterfall but it was so grand it felt like more
now i know why the niagara is one of the seven wonders and why its so talked about
its scale is terrific
and what i liked best was the way they have set up all the trips and avctivities so that ur thrown right into it so to speak and yet everything is very safe and controlled
i went with kamlesh and dada and i must say that kamlesh really impressed me. ALL that driving single handed ly - 8 hrs or so at a time! he's some dude. tho for me ... anything he does is usually super cool ... even then I was (re) impressed by the man ... he's something else alright!
after we got out from there, I was dying to share it with someone ... all that excitement was bubbling up like champagne and killing me. so i called up rahul. dont know anyone else in the us so i invariably plague him with my calls ... and told him all about it.
after that there was the new york trip
what can I say
for a 'gaowallah' like me it was really happening
everything I saw, everywhere I went ... i was i was like staring and walking around with a blisfully abest happy dazed expression and associating ... this is where barney lived, this is where richard went to work, this is where florentina's dog got run over ... all the books, all the stories i had ever read seemed to have come alive and it was really exciting. felt like a kid all over again.
i went to the empire state bdg. and bcz it was a clear day I could see till very far
then I went for a boat trip around the manhatten burrough and we passed by statue of liberty, ellis island and the old railway stn. after that we wenmt to central park and there we saw 2 guys making out on a park bench
missed buro/ jinx/ chatto/ ma ... bcz theyve been there probably ... dunno
reminded me a bit of uk.
the 3 witches of eastwick
i came to La Martiniere, one of the highnosiest schools in Kolkata, at the tender age of 3.
i came from CIS - calcutta international school (no clue if the have renamed it kolkata international school)
which was basically an american school for kids of (internationally) itenerent parents
a bit like our cbse thrown global
my dad was then travelling all over the gulf and europe and fancied i could do a term here and a term there and thus stay with him
but that was not to be, I stayed in cal with my gran whom i still call ma (my biological mom is mom / mommy / budi / tutuma / mammam / etc)
anyway, since i did not take to travel, my parents soon figured out that such an expensive school was a useless drain on their then quite frugal resources
and put me in LMC and I entered the hallowed portals in all my glory
no grammer, think colour is spelled color, dont know what uniform or assembly or exam was
and a faint accent ... i felt a bit like a pigeon amongst the eagles
anyone who remembers will remember how cruel kids can be at that age to strange strangers that dont take
(i "took" well enough, eventually, but with me it always takes sometime before a new lot will "take" to me)
then on my first day, I met Runa Chatterjee & Susan George (mallu)
they were respected vetereans - in "School" from nursery (i might add that to a martinian "School" means La Martiniere! everywhere else is "a school")
they had there own best friends each - which then was "a bond more binding than marraige"
but we somehow became great mates anyway
(chatto coming up to me in bong class and said "u want to learn bad bad things" was the ice breaker)
whats so strange about the whole is that, we went through all the remaining years at 'School' and a thousand other friends,
we hardly hung out together in school except for in the very final years
but we had such a strange strong tie between us
my ma used to call us the witches of eastwik
maybe what bound us so strong was that we had very similiar family structures
one younger sis, 9,10,11 yrs after us
busy working moms who stayed alone in india for the most part
dads on travelling jobs who we seldom saw
we practically lived in each others houses
we did the maddest and craziest of pranks
like trying to sneak into the grand hotel to see patrick swaize (whom chatto was determined to wed, I might add) and getting thrown out unceremoniously by a gaurd
or like planning out with war campaign like seriousness our first booze bash, at the mature age of 16
(yams was there too - she got high and kept crying "i puked on my pajamas")
or like watching our first adult movie (which was my last - it was the grossest saddest thing I have ever seen
and me and chatto reading an archie through it
and sauce (susan george) punctuating the show with squeals of "how gross ya!"
it was crazy
it was magic it was golden
it was the wonder years
i never miss them, bcz they are a part of me
sauce is in new zealand, blissfully married (like the idiot she is - i knew she'd do that)
chatts is pune
and Im stuck here
through all those years, we never bothered to really keep in touch, or make pc (polite conversation)
and either of them reads this blog I will be never forgiven ... it will be "motts how corny can u get" & "fatts ur so sidey ya"
but their voices come to my mind unbidden now and then
and they r i guess the ones i would turn to in any emergency or heart break
and they wud ask whats wrong ... and I would say Im fine man get off my trip and we would grunt like old snarly hags and be comforted
but nevertheless I can go only so long without some contact
and its been so long now :)
(btw - how do u make a smiley look wistful ;)
i came from CIS - calcutta international school (no clue if the have renamed it kolkata international school)
which was basically an american school for kids of (internationally) itenerent parents
a bit like our cbse thrown global
my dad was then travelling all over the gulf and europe and fancied i could do a term here and a term there and thus stay with him
but that was not to be, I stayed in cal with my gran whom i still call ma (my biological mom is mom / mommy / budi / tutuma / mammam / etc)
anyway, since i did not take to travel, my parents soon figured out that such an expensive school was a useless drain on their then quite frugal resources
and put me in LMC and I entered the hallowed portals in all my glory
no grammer, think colour is spelled color, dont know what uniform or assembly or exam was
and a faint accent ... i felt a bit like a pigeon amongst the eagles
anyone who remembers will remember how cruel kids can be at that age to strange strangers that dont take
(i "took" well enough, eventually, but with me it always takes sometime before a new lot will "take" to me)
then on my first day, I met Runa Chatterjee & Susan George (mallu)
they were respected vetereans - in "School" from nursery (i might add that to a martinian "School" means La Martiniere! everywhere else is "a school")
they had there own best friends each - which then was "a bond more binding than marraige"
but we somehow became great mates anyway
(chatto coming up to me in bong class and said "u want to learn bad bad things" was the ice breaker)
whats so strange about the whole is that, we went through all the remaining years at 'School' and a thousand other friends,
we hardly hung out together in school except for in the very final years
but we had such a strange strong tie between us
my ma used to call us the witches of eastwik
maybe what bound us so strong was that we had very similiar family structures
one younger sis, 9,10,11 yrs after us
busy working moms who stayed alone in india for the most part
dads on travelling jobs who we seldom saw
we practically lived in each others houses
we did the maddest and craziest of pranks
like trying to sneak into the grand hotel to see patrick swaize (whom chatto was determined to wed, I might add) and getting thrown out unceremoniously by a gaurd
or like planning out with war campaign like seriousness our first booze bash, at the mature age of 16
(yams was there too - she got high and kept crying "i puked on my pajamas")
or like watching our first adult movie (which was my last - it was the grossest saddest thing I have ever seen
and me and chatto reading an archie through it
and sauce (susan george) punctuating the show with squeals of "how gross ya!"
it was crazy
it was magic it was golden
it was the wonder years
i never miss them, bcz they are a part of me
sauce is in new zealand, blissfully married (like the idiot she is - i knew she'd do that)
chatts is pune
and Im stuck here
through all those years, we never bothered to really keep in touch, or make pc (polite conversation)
and either of them reads this blog I will be never forgiven ... it will be "motts how corny can u get" & "fatts ur so sidey ya"
but their voices come to my mind unbidden now and then
and they r i guess the ones i would turn to in any emergency or heart break
and they wud ask whats wrong ... and I would say Im fine man get off my trip and we would grunt like old snarly hags and be comforted
but nevertheless I can go only so long without some contact
and its been so long now :)
(btw - how do u make a smiley look wistful ;)
its going to rain.
the second day in a row
its going to rain very hard
maybe the thunder god took offense at all my complaining?
from where I sit, the huge, plate glass framed slot of the sky looks grey blue, with silvery white patches
once in a while u can hear a low growl of thunder
bit like how my big dog sounds when he is pissed
kidding ...
i know if i stepped outside, it will be cooler than it usually is in this inferno
the wind will be blowing
if i sit in my balcony at home
i will hear the crazy sea like sounds the vast never ending ish fredricksburgh rd stirrs up in the rains
my wind chimes will all of them by dancing in the wind
deluding themselves that they make up an orhestra
and the thunder, wil raise a sleepy growl every once in a while to compete or silence impertinent competition
and i wud sit there, in my little house and thiink crazy thots
i remember a long ago poem i had written - that started "thoughts, how errant thoughts run in dissaray"
well, there would be some wild colourful dissaray :)
then the rain would start in earnest and add another dimension to the sound
small, sweet gentle
and the world go suddenly wet and soft and clean and gentle
and then the lightning ...
i just saw one awesome splendid stroke of luck kind of strike outside office
its so beautiful the way these buildings are made
was stoddard temple built like this?
is this how the children who came there later to study felt?
such a view, such a view ...
its so beautiful
i wonder why i feel like crying
i wonder, why i feel like howling ... bawling my lungs out
Have u ever felt that life is rolling past, wasting away and theres something so imp u have to do, so many things to be thought about, so much to read, so much to understand, so much to Do,
And im not doing nothing at all
i stand here, as if paralysed by fear of the beginning and life rolls on gently by ...
I remember sharad today, and recall something he said
deep words of wisdom, though unconsciously spoken ;)
we were playing cards. and I kept losing
he kept getting angry with me bcz I was losing
and I kept making dumb xcuses like y dont u 3 play
and Im no good - I told u i cant and stuff like that
and he kept shouting at me - prero if u dont challenge people u will never win
dont just sit there like a statue - do something
i feel sometimes me life has become like that
and long list of reactions and defenses ...
only voluntary action I indulge in now and then is to run away ... run, prero run!
its running time again
this time where to
and this time who from?
the second day in a row
its going to rain very hard
maybe the thunder god took offense at all my complaining?
from where I sit, the huge, plate glass framed slot of the sky looks grey blue, with silvery white patches
once in a while u can hear a low growl of thunder
bit like how my big dog sounds when he is pissed
kidding ...
i know if i stepped outside, it will be cooler than it usually is in this inferno
the wind will be blowing
if i sit in my balcony at home
i will hear the crazy sea like sounds the vast never ending ish fredricksburgh rd stirrs up in the rains
my wind chimes will all of them by dancing in the wind
deluding themselves that they make up an orhestra
and the thunder, wil raise a sleepy growl every once in a while to compete or silence impertinent competition
and i wud sit there, in my little house and thiink crazy thots
i remember a long ago poem i had written - that started "thoughts, how errant thoughts run in dissaray"
well, there would be some wild colourful dissaray :)
then the rain would start in earnest and add another dimension to the sound
small, sweet gentle
and the world go suddenly wet and soft and clean and gentle
and then the lightning ...
i just saw one awesome splendid stroke of luck kind of strike outside office
its so beautiful the way these buildings are made
was stoddard temple built like this?
is this how the children who came there later to study felt?
such a view, such a view ...
its so beautiful
i wonder why i feel like crying
i wonder, why i feel like howling ... bawling my lungs out
Have u ever felt that life is rolling past, wasting away and theres something so imp u have to do, so many things to be thought about, so much to read, so much to understand, so much to Do,
And im not doing nothing at all
i stand here, as if paralysed by fear of the beginning and life rolls on gently by ...
I remember sharad today, and recall something he said
deep words of wisdom, though unconsciously spoken ;)
we were playing cards. and I kept losing
he kept getting angry with me bcz I was losing
and I kept making dumb xcuses like y dont u 3 play
and Im no good - I told u i cant and stuff like that
and he kept shouting at me - prero if u dont challenge people u will never win
dont just sit there like a statue - do something
i feel sometimes me life has become like that
and long list of reactions and defenses ...
only voluntary action I indulge in now and then is to run away ... run, prero run!
its running time again
this time where to
and this time who from?
i have been meaning to write much today bcz much happened yesterday
well, small much's =- small pleasures
i work in a defense ish organisation
and yesterday after work we were all standing about discussing a knotty techy problem and cursing (& praising) the man who originated it all (seriously, I have never seen so many pointers in one application - its a wonder he knew where he was pointed by the end of it - pointy affair ;)
anyway, talk started running the way talk does and we started talking about this guys days in the air force and he started telling us his stories
and he would say something like thank god i didnt get picked for the marines
then someone from the next aisle would shout - may I hear that again - or some such comment
and before long it was something like one of our nice bangaali paraar rock-er adda's
and everyone was in it and we stayed an hour and had a ball
that was great!
came home and had a glorious walk - just after the rain had cleared
it was beautiful
somehow, the recent rain had made everything look silvery and romantic
and freshly washed
then I had to do my laundry so I went and soaked in the pool and did one of my float on my back and stare at the stars and think "lovely thots" routines
then I came back - had a glorious meal alone and read till 2am
the sweetest book.
sounds like nothing, but I was very happy by the end of it
and I talked to Jinx somewhere in between - that made my day
and today - just as I came in to work, I saw a mail from brat
we had a short email chat
during which I told him I will call him if I cud get out for lunch early enuff
but I didnt so i didnt :(
but it was nice making contact with my other best friend
and rajiv, the third one smsd me as well - so in the space of two days I made contact with all 3 ... this is great ... I wish all two days wud be like this :)
next time adit tells me "I better realise soon that life is not F.R.I.E.N.D.S"
Ill tell him sometimes it is and its so so nice when it is ... it can tide u over the times when its not :)
besides Im off to the niagra tomorrow ... y am I not xcited ???
well, small much's =- small pleasures
i work in a defense ish organisation
and yesterday after work we were all standing about discussing a knotty techy problem and cursing (& praising) the man who originated it all (seriously, I have never seen so many pointers in one application - its a wonder he knew where he was pointed by the end of it - pointy affair ;)
anyway, talk started running the way talk does and we started talking about this guys days in the air force and he started telling us his stories
and he would say something like thank god i didnt get picked for the marines
then someone from the next aisle would shout - may I hear that again - or some such comment
and before long it was something like one of our nice bangaali paraar rock-er adda's
and everyone was in it and we stayed an hour and had a ball
that was great!
came home and had a glorious walk - just after the rain had cleared
it was beautiful
somehow, the recent rain had made everything look silvery and romantic
and freshly washed
then I had to do my laundry so I went and soaked in the pool and did one of my float on my back and stare at the stars and think "lovely thots" routines
then I came back - had a glorious meal alone and read till 2am
the sweetest book.
sounds like nothing, but I was very happy by the end of it
and I talked to Jinx somewhere in between - that made my day
and today - just as I came in to work, I saw a mail from brat
we had a short email chat
during which I told him I will call him if I cud get out for lunch early enuff
but I didnt so i didnt :(
but it was nice making contact with my other best friend
and rajiv, the third one smsd me as well - so in the space of two days I made contact with all 3 ... this is great ... I wish all two days wud be like this :)
next time adit tells me "I better realise soon that life is not F.R.I.E.N.D.S"
Ill tell him sometimes it is and its so so nice when it is ... it can tide u over the times when its not :)
besides Im off to the niagra tomorrow ... y am I not xcited ???
no spring nor monsoon in the air here
but reading everybody's blogs - which seem to be universally inclining towards senti-ism
i find my thots turning towards the emotional
maybe the fact that, after a long period of staid non fiction, I am indulging in my favourite indulgence again ...
sweet sentimental romance - 2 in a serioes ... an mb followed by a georgette heyer :)
im also sitting on my first Gabriel Garcia Marquez by recommendation
lets see how that goes
besides that its pretty boring
i was thinking to myself (whom else do people "think" to)
that we often think we miss this and that person or place, but isnt it that what we really miss is just a time? a phase, a slice of our lives ... the way it was then, the way we felt ... a certain yesterday, a certain feeling, a certain home-ish flavour ... caught on the wind. a whiff of a memory, of a time when we fit in, belonged, to felt a part of somepart of some world
like mole missing home - long forgotten and now remembered?
but reading everybody's blogs - which seem to be universally inclining towards senti-ism
i find my thots turning towards the emotional
maybe the fact that, after a long period of staid non fiction, I am indulging in my favourite indulgence again ...
sweet sentimental romance - 2 in a serioes ... an mb followed by a georgette heyer :)
im also sitting on my first Gabriel Garcia Marquez by recommendation
lets see how that goes
besides that its pretty boring
i was thinking to myself (whom else do people "think" to)
that we often think we miss this and that person or place, but isnt it that what we really miss is just a time? a phase, a slice of our lives ... the way it was then, the way we felt ... a certain yesterday, a certain feeling, a certain home-ish flavour ... caught on the wind. a whiff of a memory, of a time when we fit in, belonged, to felt a part of somepart of some world
like mole missing home - long forgotten and now remembered?
i miss my time in uk so badly today
i always miss it but now even more than ever
it was one of the sweetest nicest times of my life
everything was so perfect
i miss the ariel & rowing and the races and the weekends full of practise & beer
i miss the way the city was ... quaint and sweet and half hundred years old & half ttally modern
i miss the shops, the accessibilty
i miss the work
i miss the friends
the many places to go to and things to do
the pub hopping - where u start from one end of town and have a drink at each putb till u reach the other ebnd
i miss the river
the bridge
the sunsets
the gulls
the trees
the weather
the people
my friends, roger, colleen, ani, taj ...
most of all i miss my little studio
it was so pretty
so so pretty
and so clean
somehow - however I slog this place never seems clean
i miss the cold
gawd how i miss the cold
miss the regular weekend long eat outs at my place
the lazy sunday mornings at tajs back garden with me and taj and anad and family
pr me and taj and chetan
miss the view from chetan balcomy
miss the way everything always seemed so wet and fresh and had a forever ish feel to it
everything seems so just sprung up and dry here
everyone I was friends with then has drifted away now - except taj & chetan of course
even they seem lost somehow
miss tesco's where everything was always so nice and everything seemed happy
miss having a movie hall 5 mins walk from home
and a sweet, deserted rose garden 10 mins inthe other direction, and the bus stop just across the road
miss the snow, the old people on the roads and the kids playing everywhere
miss the churches & the bells and the winds and the flowers
bno cactus there, we just ahad sweet flowers
miss going down to london, or bath or wherever everynow and then
miss having a life ....
i always miss it but now even more than ever
it was one of the sweetest nicest times of my life
everything was so perfect
i miss the ariel & rowing and the races and the weekends full of practise & beer
i miss the way the city was ... quaint and sweet and half hundred years old & half ttally modern
i miss the shops, the accessibilty
i miss the work
i miss the friends
the many places to go to and things to do
the pub hopping - where u start from one end of town and have a drink at each putb till u reach the other ebnd
i miss the river
the bridge
the sunsets
the gulls
the trees
the weather
the people
my friends, roger, colleen, ani, taj ...
most of all i miss my little studio
it was so pretty
so so pretty
and so clean
somehow - however I slog this place never seems clean
i miss the cold
gawd how i miss the cold
miss the regular weekend long eat outs at my place
the lazy sunday mornings at tajs back garden with me and taj and anad and family
pr me and taj and chetan
miss the view from chetan balcomy
miss the way everything always seemed so wet and fresh and had a forever ish feel to it
everything seems so just sprung up and dry here
everyone I was friends with then has drifted away now - except taj & chetan of course
even they seem lost somehow
miss tesco's where everything was always so nice and everything seemed happy
miss having a movie hall 5 mins walk from home
and a sweet, deserted rose garden 10 mins inthe other direction, and the bus stop just across the road
miss the snow, the old people on the roads and the kids playing everywhere
miss the churches & the bells and the winds and the flowers
bno cactus there, we just ahad sweet flowers
miss going down to london, or bath or wherever everynow and then
miss having a life ....
spoke to jinx after ages
which always gets me happy and high
maybe its a hangover from all our tequila times
starnge that we seem to be doing turns with being onsite and offshore ... when he is here Im there and then i was in uk and he was there and then I was there and he was in trivandrum or god knows where and now Im here and he is there
anyway ... so is life :)
i had a nice lunch today ... minus the bhindi's from yesterday - which incidentally were a big hit
last night I went out to a karaoke joint
it was noisy and great fun
wudve been funner if ...
i got the blues again
nothing feels the same
i got the blues again
and every comfort seems lame
im down the memory lane
or playing tomorrow games
today seems empty somehow
like a bridge thats waiting to be crossed
like a bridge that has 2b crossed
like a bridge thats ever so long
im tired of the bridge
i wanna jet down to tomrrow
or roll back to yesterday
which always gets me happy and high
maybe its a hangover from all our tequila times
starnge that we seem to be doing turns with being onsite and offshore ... when he is here Im there and then i was in uk and he was there and then I was there and he was in trivandrum or god knows where and now Im here and he is there
anyway ... so is life :)
i had a nice lunch today ... minus the bhindi's from yesterday - which incidentally were a big hit
last night I went out to a karaoke joint
it was noisy and great fun
wudve been funner if ...
i got the blues again
nothing feels the same
i got the blues again
and every comfort seems lame
im down the memory lane
or playing tomorrow games
today seems empty somehow
like a bridge thats waiting to be crossed
like a bridge that has 2b crossed
like a bridge thats ever so long
im tired of the bridge
i wanna jet down to tomrrow
or roll back to yesterday
GOING UP IN SMOKE
sitting at home with nothing to do
lazy saturday evening
friend / colleague / neighbor calls
what about u make dinner for us for a change
very well then
before my kitchen drowns in rust
and before I throw out my weekly rottenvegchucklot
let me domesticate once again
its gonna be bong style mooshur daal bhindi and bhaat
so i boiled the daal
put the rice on the back burner
and Im making the bhindi
and simultaneously heating the oil to chhouk the daal
one point to mention, Im on call this weekend, so I have to answer the phone hi priority
so Im juggling my attentions betw the heating oil and the frying bhindi
at tnis brahmo-muhurto the phone rings in the bedroom
so I sprint out to take the call
just hangingup when I hear the smoke alarm
i think to myself the oil must be smoking something bad and stroll back to the kitchen
as soon as I come near, what do I see ...
the bloody pan is up in flames, high enough to burn the smoke hood!
no problemo ... I pick up the pan and put it under the tap ... Im not panicked yet
as I sopon find out, WRONG THING TO DO ... totally WRONG THING TO DO
(whenever I have a ImcoolImundercontrol brainwave i usually do the wrong thing)
the flames go up like dantes inferno and go climbing up the wall and through the hole in the wall and into the other room and burn my bloody post its
im still not panicked
what do I do, I cover the whole mess with my chopping board
good idea, flames going down, then I realise ... the board is made off plastic
even I know, plastic burns ...
so now I panic
but luckily nothing happened
flames go out just then
chopping board is scorched but I guess it was ina kind mood so it didnt really catch fire
im let off with slightly burned hands (wont need to wax my right nad for a while) and a little burned on my face and a nice smokey grey pattern on my wall
hmmmmmm ... good thing I dont have wallpaper!
nothing happened after that
coolly proceeded with the dinner
friends came
we ate
then we went and saw HULK
which was definitely the worse experience of the 2!!!
sitting at home with nothing to do
lazy saturday evening
friend / colleague / neighbor calls
what about u make dinner for us for a change
very well then
before my kitchen drowns in rust
and before I throw out my weekly rottenvegchucklot
let me domesticate once again
its gonna be bong style mooshur daal bhindi and bhaat
so i boiled the daal
put the rice on the back burner
and Im making the bhindi
and simultaneously heating the oil to chhouk the daal
one point to mention, Im on call this weekend, so I have to answer the phone hi priority
so Im juggling my attentions betw the heating oil and the frying bhindi
at tnis brahmo-muhurto the phone rings in the bedroom
so I sprint out to take the call
just hangingup when I hear the smoke alarm
i think to myself the oil must be smoking something bad and stroll back to the kitchen
as soon as I come near, what do I see ...
the bloody pan is up in flames, high enough to burn the smoke hood!
no problemo ... I pick up the pan and put it under the tap ... Im not panicked yet
as I sopon find out, WRONG THING TO DO ... totally WRONG THING TO DO
(whenever I have a ImcoolImundercontrol brainwave i usually do the wrong thing)
the flames go up like dantes inferno and go climbing up the wall and through the hole in the wall and into the other room and burn my bloody post its
im still not panicked
what do I do, I cover the whole mess with my chopping board
good idea, flames going down, then I realise ... the board is made off plastic
even I know, plastic burns ...
so now I panic
but luckily nothing happened
flames go out just then
chopping board is scorched but I guess it was ina kind mood so it didnt really catch fire
im let off with slightly burned hands (wont need to wax my right nad for a while) and a little burned on my face and a nice smokey grey pattern on my wall
hmmmmmm ... good thing I dont have wallpaper!
nothing happened after that
coolly proceeded with the dinner
friends came
we ate
then we went and saw HULK
which was definitely the worse experience of the 2!!!
A GHOST FROM THE PAST
spoke to buro after i know not how many years
it was nice
it was great
it was wonderful
ok, and intro
this a one of my closest friends, rajiv
he is really really old
but he's quite a dude
he is originally a "family friend" - which means our dads were mates in college
i probably should say we go back to when I was 2 and he was 10 and we went for a trip to daarj, all the families
and he kept asking my mom if he could try flushing me down the pot ...
but she said no ... she's so sweet
he also baby sat me for hours when the grownups were busy
but actually we really got to know each other when I was in college and had gone to dubai on one of my annual visits to my dad
and this guy was living there, looking for a job or something
he used to work in bombay and was in la for a while, but something happened ... i think they threw him out bcz he listened to too much floyd :D
anyway, I have just got home from the airport and am on the phone reassuring my friend in pune that I have reached in one piece,
when he walks into the room and says hi
im like cant u see im on the bloody phone? aloud, I just say "hi - ur rajiv, right?" and go back to the phone
he disguises his ages pretty well so I dont realise how old he is ...
later when Iv had a belated word with my dad and walked into the guest room guiltily aware that the one I so non chalantly hailed a few moments ago was 10 years or so older than me. I was still young-ish so that felt a bit awkward
But I sat donw on the bed and we started talking
and what happened next was pure magic
no other words can explain it!
we 'talked' almost straight through 3 days or so
with a few short breaks for naps!
i have nevre talked so much & so willingly & enjoyable with anyone again, ever
in fact not even with the great Buro
when it was time to go, we both had tears in our eyes
and neither of us had a clue as to why!
then we wrote letters - long missives full of floyd and einsteins puzzles and crazy philosophy
i suppose most of what we talked about or shared would have made little sense to anyone else
so it is with these few people
strangers, misfits, nuts, aliens like me
adit, chatto, buro, malabi, brat, joy ... we are a bit "khiska" and we usually gaurd and hide all the nuttiness jealously inside and and bear tightfitting masks of normality which we relax only when we are with "our brethren" :)
spoke to buro after i know not how many years
it was nice
it was great
it was wonderful
ok, and intro
this a one of my closest friends, rajiv
he is really really old
but he's quite a dude
he is originally a "family friend" - which means our dads were mates in college
i probably should say we go back to when I was 2 and he was 10 and we went for a trip to daarj, all the families
and he kept asking my mom if he could try flushing me down the pot ...
but she said no ... she's so sweet
he also baby sat me for hours when the grownups were busy
but actually we really got to know each other when I was in college and had gone to dubai on one of my annual visits to my dad
and this guy was living there, looking for a job or something
he used to work in bombay and was in la for a while, but something happened ... i think they threw him out bcz he listened to too much floyd :D
anyway, I have just got home from the airport and am on the phone reassuring my friend in pune that I have reached in one piece,
when he walks into the room and says hi
im like cant u see im on the bloody phone? aloud, I just say "hi - ur rajiv, right?" and go back to the phone
he disguises his ages pretty well so I dont realise how old he is ...
later when Iv had a belated word with my dad and walked into the guest room guiltily aware that the one I so non chalantly hailed a few moments ago was 10 years or so older than me. I was still young-ish so that felt a bit awkward
But I sat donw on the bed and we started talking
and what happened next was pure magic
no other words can explain it!
we 'talked' almost straight through 3 days or so
with a few short breaks for naps!
i have nevre talked so much & so willingly & enjoyable with anyone again, ever
in fact not even with the great Buro
when it was time to go, we both had tears in our eyes
and neither of us had a clue as to why!
then we wrote letters - long missives full of floyd and einsteins puzzles and crazy philosophy
i suppose most of what we talked about or shared would have made little sense to anyone else
so it is with these few people
strangers, misfits, nuts, aliens like me
adit, chatto, buro, malabi, brat, joy ... we are a bit "khiska" and we usually gaurd and hide all the nuttiness jealously inside and and bear tightfitting masks of normality which we relax only when we are with "our brethren" :)
"I know this seems like a devilish ploy But its one way to bring the proceedings to an end ...."
I did always believe that the songs that suddenly pop up in ur head are pulled up by our subconscious (hereby to be aka scon) bcz its trying to say something .... TO us or maybe just mumbling out loud???
I did always believe that the songs that suddenly pop up in ur head are pulled up by our subconscious (hereby to be aka scon) bcz its trying to say something .... TO us or maybe just mumbling out loud???
what a glorious life!!!
slept through most of saturday
woke up at 4:30PM
dying of hunger by then, so gobbled down two aloo parathas
thats been my staple diet since I came to the us
aloo paratha's
they come in pkts
u just defrost them and heat them in the pan and HOG.
they are horrible, but ...
anyway, I finished ORDCHID THIEF atlast
thank god!
i have never sat with a book for so long
i guess maybe bcz its non fiction u can speed read through it
no Im dying for a nice silly georgette heyer
or a agatha christie or something
but I have to finish dangerous summer (hemmingway)
and return both to thelibrary before they put me in jail
then I have a half read bengali book which everyone was very excited about
bcz I was reading bong atlast but I lost heart half way throughmy valiant efforts and quit
and I have to finish that as well
its Somoresh Mojumdar, Garbo dhaarini
Its about a revolution planned by 4 college kids, each frustrated with life and society
for diff reasons. 2 rich kids with weird parents and 2 poor kids with helpless parents :)
when I first came here, I was miserable bcz I was missing home
id just come back from the uk
not been home for even 2 months
when I was off again for here
but I made a really nice friend
and things cheered up
and I settle down and everything was great
but then now, the friend has gone back home
and I barely know a living being here
and everything is getting fucked up so badly
Everything ... work, personal life, everything
i feel like running away and going back home
though Im not really "homesick" as such
in fact I Dont like it at home for very long and will take another on site posting as soon as I hit base
sometimes I wonder, what if I get hooked to this whole nomadic lifestyle scene ...
god knows Im half way there
but I miss bristol
we had a big group there
lots of aquaintances
i had my rowing
and friends from their
and I went to the gym and had some friends there
now I dont do anything and know no one
and it sucks ...
slept through most of saturday
woke up at 4:30PM
dying of hunger by then, so gobbled down two aloo parathas
thats been my staple diet since I came to the us
aloo paratha's
they come in pkts
u just defrost them and heat them in the pan and HOG.
they are horrible, but ...
anyway, I finished ORDCHID THIEF atlast
thank god!
i have never sat with a book for so long
i guess maybe bcz its non fiction u can speed read through it
no Im dying for a nice silly georgette heyer
or a agatha christie or something
but I have to finish dangerous summer (hemmingway)
and return both to thelibrary before they put me in jail
then I have a half read bengali book which everyone was very excited about
bcz I was reading bong atlast but I lost heart half way throughmy valiant efforts and quit
and I have to finish that as well
its Somoresh Mojumdar, Garbo dhaarini
Its about a revolution planned by 4 college kids, each frustrated with life and society
for diff reasons. 2 rich kids with weird parents and 2 poor kids with helpless parents :)
when I first came here, I was miserable bcz I was missing home
id just come back from the uk
not been home for even 2 months
when I was off again for here
but I made a really nice friend
and things cheered up
and I settle down and everything was great
but then now, the friend has gone back home
and I barely know a living being here
and everything is getting fucked up so badly
Everything ... work, personal life, everything
i feel like running away and going back home
though Im not really "homesick" as such
in fact I Dont like it at home for very long and will take another on site posting as soon as I hit base
sometimes I wonder, what if I get hooked to this whole nomadic lifestyle scene ...
god knows Im half way there
but I miss bristol
we had a big group there
lots of aquaintances
i had my rowing
and friends from their
and I went to the gym and had some friends there
now I dont do anything and know no one
and it sucks ...
I FEEL PRETTY
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
GIRLS
What mirror where?
MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?
GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?
MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
GIRLS
Such a pretty me!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
movie
I FEEL PRETTY
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming--
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her--
She's the one who is in an advanced
State of shock.
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat,
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from her --
Send for Chino!
This is not the Maria
We know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
I feel dizzy
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
What mirror where?
MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
Which? What? Where? Whom?
MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
GIRLS
La la la la . . .
MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
GIRLS
What mirror where?
MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?
GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?
MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
GIRLS
Such a pretty me!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
movie
I FEEL PRETTY
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming--
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her--
She's the one who is in an advanced
State of shock.
She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat,
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from her --
Send for Chino!
This is not the Maria
We know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
I feel dizzy
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
What mirror where?
MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?
ROSALIA, CONSUELO, FRANCISCA
Which? What? Where? Whom?
MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing--
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
...Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it.The
river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the
basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the
rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by
waters....
Norman MacLean
river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the
basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the
rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by
waters....
Norman MacLean
Roads Go Ever On, J R R Tolkien
Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.
Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon, East of the sun.
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.
Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the moon, East of the sun.
"it was a deep stormy night
u slept through that night, peaceful
i watched you
i never saw you, hadnt known you for very long
but I knew u were so small & vulnerable
I could feel you
dont know who you are, dont know how you are
lone star in the dark of the night, sweeter by far
than anything I ever deserved
u came to me for love & safety
i knew that much, yet i drove you away
i had too
now it hurts so much to think of you and all the joy we could have had, together
I will hold this pain forever
I'll never forget you
lone star in the dark of the night,
sweeter by far than anyone anywhere.
sweet child, sweet smile,
big big brown eyes.
gentle and soft,
trusting & lost.
home and safe a night before,
now lost and wandering for evermore.
gone forever, only to remain
in my heart, as a bittersweet pain.
06212003PM"
u slept through that night, peaceful
i watched you
i never saw you, hadnt known you for very long
but I knew u were so small & vulnerable
I could feel you
dont know who you are, dont know how you are
lone star in the dark of the night, sweeter by far
than anything I ever deserved
u came to me for love & safety
i knew that much, yet i drove you away
i had too
now it hurts so much to think of you and all the joy we could have had, together
I will hold this pain forever
I'll never forget you
lone star in the dark of the night,
sweeter by far than anyone anywhere.
sweet child, sweet smile,
big big brown eyes.
gentle and soft,
trusting & lost.
home and safe a night before,
now lost and wandering for evermore.
gone forever, only to remain
in my heart, as a bittersweet pain.
06212003PM"
"if i threw away,
my honour, my life,
my heart, my child,
to bargain for a few days,
of ur love
And if that love was but make believe,
A figment of my dreams
But made possible by a soft light once I saw in ur eyes.
If we played the game,
like two grand masters,
A shadow dance in the still of the night.
Dodging and attacking, again, and again,
To end entrapped and enmeshed,
In stalemate
If I lose it all,
for one trip,
to heaven wrapt in ur strong arms.
and in the end remain,
floating like a drop of sweat on ur soft skin.
If I lose it all,
to die out in the end,
a glorious resplendent, shining death,
tell me,
such an end,
would it not be,
a bargain my friend?"
anon
my honour, my life,
my heart, my child,
to bargain for a few days,
of ur love
And if that love was but make believe,
A figment of my dreams
But made possible by a soft light once I saw in ur eyes.
If we played the game,
like two grand masters,
A shadow dance in the still of the night.
Dodging and attacking, again, and again,
To end entrapped and enmeshed,
In stalemate
If I lose it all,
for one trip,
to heaven wrapt in ur strong arms.
and in the end remain,
floating like a drop of sweat on ur soft skin.
If I lose it all,
to die out in the end,
a glorious resplendent, shining death,
tell me,
such an end,
would it not be,
a bargain my friend?"
anon
i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!i saw it!
Finding Nemo ... Id been hearing So much about it
and I was so convinced Id never get to see it bcz the people I go with dont like "cartoon type" movies
but I begged / I pleaded / I cajoled .. and guess what ... they liked it too ... THO he wouldnt admit it :)
but I dont wanna gloat - its enuff that I saw it!
Finding Nemo ... Id been hearing So much about it
and I was so convinced Id never get to see it bcz the people I go with dont like "cartoon type" movies
but I begged / I pleaded / I cajoled .. and guess what ... they liked it too ... THO he wouldnt admit it :)
but I dont wanna gloat - its enuff that I saw it!
it was the unhappeninsgestest day of my life ... nothing happened ... ie nothing nice happened
after a long time I had some work
so I was shuttling between the intranet that we are supposed to be developing and testing in the lab for the new crm release and job abends building a pkg for my dll and cursing my boss and trying to build the webpage that my boss asked me to AND strange and critical user problems (by cob) ... blimeywhaddaday!
had to call rajesh to wish him happy birthday
first I got the time calculation wrong and called him in the middle of a meeting ...
then I called my dad by mistake and blasted his ears "happy birthday kiddo" before he could grouch his usual hellllllo
Then I called ... the right number, the right time ... bang on time ... and whaddyuknow ... it goes straight to Voice Mail!
notmydaytodayjustshudnthavegottenoutofbed ...
came home and 6 and popped of to the land of oz
woke up at 9
now lets see how the rest goes .. i gotto get out in the world and see if anyone will by kind and feed me dinner :)
after a long time I had some work
so I was shuttling between the intranet that we are supposed to be developing and testing in the lab for the new crm release and job abends building a pkg for my dll and cursing my boss and trying to build the webpage that my boss asked me to AND strange and critical user problems (by cob) ... blimeywhaddaday!
had to call rajesh to wish him happy birthday
first I got the time calculation wrong and called him in the middle of a meeting ...
then I called my dad by mistake and blasted his ears "happy birthday kiddo" before he could grouch his usual hellllllo
Then I called ... the right number, the right time ... bang on time ... and whaddyuknow ... it goes straight to Voice Mail!
notmydaytodayjustshudnthavegottenoutofbed ...
came home and 6 and popped of to the land of oz
woke up at 9
now lets see how the rest goes .. i gotto get out in the world and see if anyone will by kind and feed me dinner :)
NACHT MUZIC
went to a friends to eat raajma & rice
we then watched half of save the last dance for me & whole of legally blond
it was cute and funny actually
On my way back, there was a really nice breeze blowing and I didnt feel like going indoors just yet
so I went by to the pool and hung out there for a long long time
it was reallydeserted
around 23:30
and this house next to the pool has this awesome set of wind chimes
its huge and rings only when theres a very strong breeze blowing
it makes a Deep, low, heavy sound
today there was a strong breeze blowing
it sounds like munals (my sister) bhutanese bells
... thats another long story
basically our last big trip was driving bhutan / darj ... and munal fell in love with these monastary in paro
she would wake up every morning real early and walk all the way there to hear the bells
a "connection" ...
well she's a piscean :)
anyway, I digress ...
there was a strong wind blowing
and the place was surrounded by trees
and they were all moving in the breeze
and the wind made a funny sound going over the tennis courts right behind
and next to me the whirlpool / jacuzzi / whatever gurgled away
and the sky was so clear
a dark neon blue
a there were so many stars out
and for a moment I forgot everything and just remembered those last few fractions of time
beautiful night
heart stoppingingly beautiful
makes me think that beautiful can never be in just one dimension
its so much blended into one package
the time, the place, the sounds, the sights ...
went to a friends to eat raajma & rice
we then watched half of save the last dance for me & whole of legally blond
it was cute and funny actually
On my way back, there was a really nice breeze blowing and I didnt feel like going indoors just yet
so I went by to the pool and hung out there for a long long time
it was reallydeserted
around 23:30
and this house next to the pool has this awesome set of wind chimes
its huge and rings only when theres a very strong breeze blowing
it makes a Deep, low, heavy sound
today there was a strong breeze blowing
it sounds like munals (my sister) bhutanese bells
... thats another long story
basically our last big trip was driving bhutan / darj ... and munal fell in love with these monastary in paro
she would wake up every morning real early and walk all the way there to hear the bells
a "connection" ...
well she's a piscean :)
anyway, I digress ...
there was a strong wind blowing
and the place was surrounded by trees
and they were all moving in the breeze
and the wind made a funny sound going over the tennis courts right behind
and next to me the whirlpool / jacuzzi / whatever gurgled away
and the sky was so clear
a dark neon blue
a there were so many stars out
and for a moment I forgot everything and just remembered those last few fractions of time
beautiful night
heart stoppingingly beautiful
makes me think that beautiful can never be in just one dimension
its so much blended into one package
the time, the place, the sounds, the sights ...
interesting weekend on the whole
saw3 movies
good medium bad
alex and kate / confidence / down with love
slept most of it away
read a lot
ate some awesome homemade chicken.
at home.
thought a lot. like about whether I should take cable or not.
missed my first driving class
and then slept some more.
chatted with kid sister
she's apparently in love at last!
this time its rap (what next!)
eminem a.k.a marshal mathers
never heard of him before
got told of for being totally antique
and was summararily dismissed ...
spoke to dad
he's on a walkalot program
hes walking 5 kms a day
or I should say hes Back to walking 5kms a day
cz all our life we have been hearing about how when He was in school he has to Walk 5 kms a day to get there everyday
since I heard a lot of complains from both about ma
i didnt speak to ma cz Im sure she will have the adequate number of rejoinders and I didnt fancy having to sit thru the lot on International :)
saw3 movies
good medium bad
alex and kate / confidence / down with love
slept most of it away
read a lot
ate some awesome homemade chicken.
at home.
thought a lot. like about whether I should take cable or not.
missed my first driving class
and then slept some more.
chatted with kid sister
she's apparently in love at last!
this time its rap (what next!)
eminem a.k.a marshal mathers
never heard of him before
got told of for being totally antique
and was summararily dismissed ...
spoke to dad
he's on a walkalot program
hes walking 5 kms a day
or I should say hes Back to walking 5kms a day
cz all our life we have been hearing about how when He was in school he has to Walk 5 kms a day to get there everyday
since I heard a lot of complains from both about ma
i didnt speak to ma cz Im sure she will have the adequate number of rejoinders and I didnt fancy having to sit thru the lot on International :)
On Wenlock Edge
On Wenlock Edge the wood's in trouble;
His forest fleece the Wrekin heaves;
The gale, it plies the saplings double,
And thick on Severn snow the leaves.
'Twould blow like this through holt and hangar
When Uricon the city stood;
'Tis the old wind in the old anger,
But then it threshed another wood.
Then, 'twas before my time, the Roman
At yonder heaving hill would stare;
The blood that warms an English yeoman,
The thoughts that hurt him, they were there.
There, like the wind through woods in riot,
Through him the gale of life blew high;
The tree of man was never quiet--
Then 'twas the Roman, now 'tis I.
The gale, it plies the saplings double;
It blows so hard, 'twill soon be gone.
Today the Roman and his trouble
Are ashes under Uricon.
A.E. Housman (1859-1936)
On Wenlock Edge the wood's in trouble;
His forest fleece the Wrekin heaves;
The gale, it plies the saplings double,
And thick on Severn snow the leaves.
'Twould blow like this through holt and hangar
When Uricon the city stood;
'Tis the old wind in the old anger,
But then it threshed another wood.
Then, 'twas before my time, the Roman
At yonder heaving hill would stare;
The blood that warms an English yeoman,
The thoughts that hurt him, they were there.
There, like the wind through woods in riot,
Through him the gale of life blew high;
The tree of man was never quiet--
Then 'twas the Roman, now 'tis I.
The gale, it plies the saplings double;
It blows so hard, 'twill soon be gone.
Today the Roman and his trouble
Are ashes under Uricon.
A.E. Housman (1859-1936)
today was really nice ... after a long time
i got a lot of mails / phone calls / zonks ... happy :)
hogged a lot all day ... 3 tazzo chais (consider - its a half day for us on friday) and one big breakfast & spanish "mixture" / chanachur
now I got 2 and a half days offfff .. gonna finish orchid thief and start on the new hemmingway, clean up my home page, and kazaa like mad and Ill go to IHOP tonite
thats one of my new pets ... I love IHOP
i really must get a tv ... but thing is I know I wont do anything else at all eversince
CRAZY EVENING THOUGHTS
had gone to wal mart day before
deep in the night (okay - it was only 11:30) - but deep enough
it was so different ... different nice
people moving around were different. the looks on their faces were different and the sales people also seemed different
then we came out and I saw a most breath taking sight ...
slung way low on the hips of a deep dull cerulean sky was the most gorgeous gem of a moon
not full, but almost there
darker than Ive ever seen it before, it was almost ochre yellow
mottled like clotted cream
rich, glowing gold
and I thought to myself ... this is the perfect kind of sky for a desert ... there should have been a rolling desert below this ... with panting camels in hot chase ... and shrieks of bedouin heros filling the air ...
wish I could have hung around to watch the sunset but I had to run back home just then
ever thought about it? theres a kind of an see saw rythm to life
up again down again up again and so we go ....
i think im coimng out of the blues
just passed thru one of my benchmark gloomy sulky dismal patches
tho i tried not too let it show too much - except of course to my crib boards ... jinx / ma / munal / chatts
ever tried being bright and chirpy and a little giddy-dumb when u got these really profound dark gruesome thoughts running thru ur head ... its kind of fun in a twisted way
i got a lot of mails / phone calls / zonks ... happy :)
hogged a lot all day ... 3 tazzo chais (consider - its a half day for us on friday) and one big breakfast & spanish "mixture" / chanachur
now I got 2 and a half days offfff .. gonna finish orchid thief and start on the new hemmingway, clean up my home page, and kazaa like mad and Ill go to IHOP tonite
thats one of my new pets ... I love IHOP
i really must get a tv ... but thing is I know I wont do anything else at all eversince
CRAZY EVENING THOUGHTS
had gone to wal mart day before
deep in the night (okay - it was only 11:30) - but deep enough
it was so different ... different nice
people moving around were different. the looks on their faces were different and the sales people also seemed different
then we came out and I saw a most breath taking sight ...
slung way low on the hips of a deep dull cerulean sky was the most gorgeous gem of a moon
not full, but almost there
darker than Ive ever seen it before, it was almost ochre yellow
mottled like clotted cream
rich, glowing gold
and I thought to myself ... this is the perfect kind of sky for a desert ... there should have been a rolling desert below this ... with panting camels in hot chase ... and shrieks of bedouin heros filling the air ...
wish I could have hung around to watch the sunset but I had to run back home just then
ever thought about it? theres a kind of an see saw rythm to life
up again down again up again and so we go ....
i think im coimng out of the blues
just passed thru one of my benchmark gloomy sulky dismal patches
tho i tried not too let it show too much - except of course to my crib boards ... jinx / ma / munal / chatts
ever tried being bright and chirpy and a little giddy-dumb when u got these really profound dark gruesome thoughts running thru ur head ... its kind of fun in a twisted way
ya - so Im in a major reminiscing mood today
full of flshback and remember whens
its strange, but I cant remember peoples faces
that is not to say that I would not recognise my friends when I meet them
but, the closer I get to them the less the chances of my being able to conjure up a vision whe they are away from me ...
I remember people by their expressions - one fleeting look - but very typical - somehow it stays in ur mind like a echo
And the texture of their voices, and the tone in which they speak
And usually I have a particular sentence or phrase stuck to their each person in my mind
Like when I remember Munal ... I can just hear her say "like it makes a diff to my life" ... totally disgusted ... totally garfield
and chatts is always "how corny ... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez" - all weltersmersh
and sohini is "Prrrrrrrrrrrrero!!!" like a rolling frenchie
and Pills would say - "bolna ... sachhi???" like a small kid
and Adit is like "helllllo??? I mean ..." shock
and Nilesh is "what was that again?" or "and why, pray are we going thru this exercise ..."
and rajesh is like "hello! are you serious"
and jish is "WHAT the Hell is going on around here!"
and joy is "shotti ..."
and ma is .... "mamoon ... othoooooooooooooo .............. PORBE NA"!!!!! or "tomaar shohur eshe electricity bill debe - cant u stay without the ac for sometime!!!LOL
hah hah ... I know its gonna sound crazy to anyone who is reading this bcz I cant really paint teh expressions with words but its so fresh in my mind ... the exact flavours of the sound ... could not resist it
some days back got a sms from a Nilesh "first real rain in cal today"
made me homesick like fresh lurch in my soul
first rain in cal
the smell of the dust
the crazy winds ... wet and cool ... evening onwards
drumming throbbing rain all night
people running - off the roads and under what shelter can be found here and there
southern avenue flooded
i miss cal so much, I must have been crazy to leave it again so soon :)
full of flshback and remember whens
its strange, but I cant remember peoples faces
that is not to say that I would not recognise my friends when I meet them
but, the closer I get to them the less the chances of my being able to conjure up a vision whe they are away from me ...
I remember people by their expressions - one fleeting look - but very typical - somehow it stays in ur mind like a echo
And the texture of their voices, and the tone in which they speak
And usually I have a particular sentence or phrase stuck to their each person in my mind
Like when I remember Munal ... I can just hear her say "like it makes a diff to my life" ... totally disgusted ... totally garfield
and chatts is always "how corny ... pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez" - all weltersmersh
and sohini is "Prrrrrrrrrrrrero!!!" like a rolling frenchie
and Pills would say - "bolna ... sachhi???" like a small kid
and Adit is like "helllllo??? I mean ..." shock
and Nilesh is "what was that again?" or "and why, pray are we going thru this exercise ..."
and rajesh is like "hello! are you serious"
and jish is "WHAT the Hell is going on around here!"
and joy is "shotti ..."
and ma is .... "mamoon ... othoooooooooooooo .............. PORBE NA"!!!!! or "tomaar shohur eshe electricity bill debe - cant u stay without the ac for sometime!!!LOL
hah hah ... I know its gonna sound crazy to anyone who is reading this bcz I cant really paint teh expressions with words but its so fresh in my mind ... the exact flavours of the sound ... could not resist it
some days back got a sms from a Nilesh "first real rain in cal today"
made me homesick like fresh lurch in my soul
first rain in cal
the smell of the dust
the crazy winds ... wet and cool ... evening onwards
drumming throbbing rain all night
people running - off the roads and under what shelter can be found here and there
southern avenue flooded
i miss cal so much, I must have been crazy to leave it again so soon :)
isnnt it nutty how u suddenly miss someone ... out of the blue ...
im missing sohini the chinki ....
does anyone remember Chinki the Pixie in "adventures of the wishing chair" :)
not so strange after all
its her birthday 2mrw isnt it ...
or maybe I miss a phase of life ... how nice everything was in college
fresh & fun & what-the-hell-does-it-matter-anyway kinds
we had such great times
sitting on her chhat and watching people downstairs & bitching about them
or sitting on the steps in the train and being mistaken for a guy & a girl romancing
or the way she would suddenly go Prrrerro ... u remind me of a doggy!
i wish at times that yesterday was a place
and I could make a little trip ... laugh a little, smile a little but then come back to today again
I miss poornima too ... she was one of the nicest kids I ever knew
and her mamaji's house (or the laddu's their) ... WOW
the film institute ... the haunt ... the adda
deccan
tds
mg road ... the blind trumpet player under the broken down bridge in front of osho's
feel like taking a trip down to Pune
Sohini -called me a funny funny girl today
i remember when ma had come over and we were at shoinis flat and someone said something or she called me funny
then she remembered ma was there
and she said I mean funny funny not funny funny
ma found that really funny
funny!
im missing sohini the chinki ....
does anyone remember Chinki the Pixie in "adventures of the wishing chair" :)
not so strange after all
its her birthday 2mrw isnt it ...
or maybe I miss a phase of life ... how nice everything was in college
fresh & fun & what-the-hell-does-it-matter-anyway kinds
we had such great times
sitting on her chhat and watching people downstairs & bitching about them
or sitting on the steps in the train and being mistaken for a guy & a girl romancing
or the way she would suddenly go Prrrerro ... u remind me of a doggy!
i wish at times that yesterday was a place
and I could make a little trip ... laugh a little, smile a little but then come back to today again
I miss poornima too ... she was one of the nicest kids I ever knew
and her mamaji's house (or the laddu's their) ... WOW
the film institute ... the haunt ... the adda
deccan
tds
mg road ... the blind trumpet player under the broken down bridge in front of osho's
feel like taking a trip down to Pune
Sohini -called me a funny funny girl today
i remember when ma had come over and we were at shoinis flat and someone said something or she called me funny
then she remembered ma was there
and she said I mean funny funny not funny funny
ma found that really funny
funny!
This will migrate to the pink page at some point in the future ...
do u know the feeling when u miss someone so much for one sudden second
... like ur nose caught a familiar whiff in the air and pulled ur soul
homewards ... for one short second ur heart
feels a sharp contraction and u miss them so, so much you just want to stop right there on the road and howl ...
but life, like rat, keeps pulling you ahead imperiously, never giving you a second to stop.
MONDAY
bunked office half day on monday and talked with jinx instead
small slices of heaven on earth
portable, mobile, virtual home-for-the-soul
rain in the desert
hyena laughing once again
leg pulling
delicious bitching cribbing and ego boosting ....
thats what best friends are made of :)
TUESDAY
back to the grind
9 hours of devising new ways of time pass
53 trips to the loo / water fountain / starbucks
6 "trips" around the building ...
3 DUMBHHHHHHHH meetings
1 totally frustrating hour at the intranet meeting
and the hi lite ... called sohini and pretended it was an official call
it went like "hello - this is p-r-e-r-o-n-a (who-the-fuck-is-that!!!) - I believe I received a call from you ... prero - is that you yes ma'am when the hell u getting ur ass here to pittsburgh yes ma'am Im looking into it ...
hilarious
made the whole day worth it :)
do u know the feeling when u miss someone so much for one sudden second
... like ur nose caught a familiar whiff in the air and pulled ur soul
homewards ... for one short second ur heart
feels a sharp contraction and u miss them so, so much you just want to stop right there on the road and howl ...
but life, like rat, keeps pulling you ahead imperiously, never giving you a second to stop.
MONDAY
bunked office half day on monday and talked with jinx instead
small slices of heaven on earth
portable, mobile, virtual home-for-the-soul
rain in the desert
hyena laughing once again
leg pulling
delicious bitching cribbing and ego boosting ....
thats what best friends are made of :)
TUESDAY
back to the grind
9 hours of devising new ways of time pass
53 trips to the loo / water fountain / starbucks
6 "trips" around the building ...
3 DUMBHHHHHHHH meetings
1 totally frustrating hour at the intranet meeting
and the hi lite ... called sohini and pretended it was an official call
it went like "hello - this is p-r-e-r-o-n-a (who-the-fuck-is-that!!!) - I believe I received a call from you ... prero - is that you yes ma'am when the hell u getting ur ass here to pittsburgh yes ma'am Im looking into it ...
hilarious
made the whole day worth it :)
friday
once again Im at my comp at 2:35 AM
cant sleep
but i really really should
got to go to work tomorrow
FRIDAY was beautiful
i think i will remember it as one of the most beautiful days of my life
the drive was so nice and the car was so sweet
and the music was so awesome
and the weather ..... wow!
i love thunderstorms. something about driving in the rain fascinates me
i went to houston once before
but it didnt strike me as so poignant then
mabe it wasnt raining
and storming
and lightning'ing
the buildings all around came alive
tall polished glass mirrors
reflecting a sky gone wild
glowing blue - suffused with spreading pink stains
torn apart by random swords of light
and crack of sound
and all reflected in every direction by those beautiful tall standing giants
then we went to IHOP
my favourite joint
makes me feel good everytime
and once again in the middle of the night for coffee
SATURDAY was the exam
nice place - the company where we had the exam
bmc sw
really cool joint
wont write about the exam at all bcz it was a bouncer after the other ... urgh! yuck! gross!
Ill fail but I wont give it again
too much man. not my stuff
why the fcuk was I doing this anyway!
nice ride back afterwards
stopped for a meal just when I was about to collapse
nice joint
nice burger
sourdough something
came back and collapsed into bed
so tired
slept
woke up
went for a movie
hollywood homicide
tech problems 5 secs from the end
gave us passes for one more show free
good deal, Id say
it had gotten to a stage where the heros are in a car chase with the willains
we all know what happens next dont we now ;)
SUNDAY was ... dunno
spent the whole day doing nothing and waiting for something to happen and switching between kidding myself damn happy and depths despondancy
have you ever felt alone
seriously seriously alone
lonely
cold
no ... neither have I ... its was okay
nice book
kept stuffing my face
lovely sweet georgette heyer
cottilion
great book for the time of my life a great practical romance :)
met sunil and kamlesh & muni where they were moving house
and shifted a few odds and ends with them
got a new sofa as reward
came back and slept
woke up and went to star bucks and walmart
ate dinner at taco cabana
talked to chiruda and rahul on the phone (not rahul bhaiya - another rahul - new friend - jolly nice guy)
called up a few more people but no one was home / free
everyone else has a life I guess :)
then came back. went for a swim
it was beautiful
deep velvet night
stars and drifting clouds
floating on my back and watching the stars
listen to the gurgling sounds from the jacuzzi next to the pool
pretending myself away to a tropical jungle ...
then came back home and chatted with ma
sms'd baba
couldnt get thru to him
then went to bed with orlean and "orchid thief"
thot I made good time - 12:30
be fresh as a posy for work tomorrow
and here I am ...3:30 and no luck yet
now Im off to try again ...
cant sleep
but i really really should
got to go to work tomorrow
FRIDAY was beautiful
i think i will remember it as one of the most beautiful days of my life
the drive was so nice and the car was so sweet
and the music was so awesome
and the weather ..... wow!
i love thunderstorms. something about driving in the rain fascinates me
i went to houston once before
but it didnt strike me as so poignant then
mabe it wasnt raining
and storming
and lightning'ing
the buildings all around came alive
tall polished glass mirrors
reflecting a sky gone wild
glowing blue - suffused with spreading pink stains
torn apart by random swords of light
and crack of sound
and all reflected in every direction by those beautiful tall standing giants
then we went to IHOP
my favourite joint
makes me feel good everytime
and once again in the middle of the night for coffee
SATURDAY was the exam
nice place - the company where we had the exam
bmc sw
really cool joint
wont write about the exam at all bcz it was a bouncer after the other ... urgh! yuck! gross!
Ill fail but I wont give it again
too much man. not my stuff
why the fcuk was I doing this anyway!
nice ride back afterwards
stopped for a meal just when I was about to collapse
nice joint
nice burger
sourdough something
came back and collapsed into bed
so tired
slept
woke up
went for a movie
hollywood homicide
tech problems 5 secs from the end
gave us passes for one more show free
good deal, Id say
it had gotten to a stage where the heros are in a car chase with the willains
we all know what happens next dont we now ;)
SUNDAY was ... dunno
spent the whole day doing nothing and waiting for something to happen and switching between kidding myself damn happy and depths despondancy
have you ever felt alone
seriously seriously alone
lonely
cold
no ... neither have I ... its was okay
nice book
kept stuffing my face
lovely sweet georgette heyer
cottilion
great book for the time of my life a great practical romance :)
met sunil and kamlesh & muni where they were moving house
and shifted a few odds and ends with them
got a new sofa as reward
came back and slept
woke up and went to star bucks and walmart
ate dinner at taco cabana
talked to chiruda and rahul on the phone (not rahul bhaiya - another rahul - new friend - jolly nice guy)
called up a few more people but no one was home / free
everyone else has a life I guess :)
then came back. went for a swim
it was beautiful
deep velvet night
stars and drifting clouds
floating on my back and watching the stars
listen to the gurgling sounds from the jacuzzi next to the pool
pretending myself away to a tropical jungle ...
then came back home and chatted with ma
sms'd baba
couldnt get thru to him
then went to bed with orlean and "orchid thief"
thot I made good time - 12:30
be fresh as a posy for work tomorrow
and here I am ...3:30 and no luck yet
now Im off to try again ...
Now I don't wanna lose you,
but I don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now I could never change you
and I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay
And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
but I don't wanna use you
just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now I could never change you
and I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay
And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
quotes for the night ...
"can and will"
"there r 2 kinds of thieves. Those who steal to enrich their lives and those who steal to define it. Dont ever be the latter"
"I trust everybody. Its the devil inside them that I dont trust"
"everyone loses a couple. There are only two things to do ... either you pack up and go home ... or you keep bloody fightit to the finish"
"you dont waste a whole life bcz it got knocked up a little bit ... "
coming attractions I really wanna see ... sea biscuit, down with love and another one I forgot the name of :)
"can and will"
"there r 2 kinds of thieves. Those who steal to enrich their lives and those who steal to define it. Dont ever be the latter"
"I trust everybody. Its the devil inside them that I dont trust"
"everyone loses a couple. There are only two things to do ... either you pack up and go home ... or you keep bloody fightit to the finish"
"you dont waste a whole life bcz it got knocked up a little bit ... "
coming attractions I really wanna see ... sea biscuit, down with love and another one I forgot the name of :)
either do and be contented,
or dont and be at peace.
the worst thing you could do is to do and keep regretting ....
Bunked studies for an evening and saw Italian job
Awesome! I really quite liked it.
Dinner at IHOP ... my fav joint in san antonio
Ate a decent steak after ... how long???
The most amazing thing happened today ... Jish had introduced me to a friend of his called Rahul
I was talking to this guy over phone and suddenly he says wait talk to this friend of mine ...
and whaddoyouknow ... its this old old friend of mine from rotaract ... great stuff
nice talking to a known voice
or dont and be at peace.
the worst thing you could do is to do and keep regretting ....
Bunked studies for an evening and saw Italian job
Awesome! I really quite liked it.
Dinner at IHOP ... my fav joint in san antonio
Ate a decent steak after ... how long???
The most amazing thing happened today ... Jish had introduced me to a friend of his called Rahul
I was talking to this guy over phone and suddenly he says wait talk to this friend of mine ...
and whaddoyouknow ... its this old old friend of mine from rotaract ... great stuff
nice talking to a known voice
My Old Favourite .... refound .... GOD BLESS KAZAA!
Isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around
One who can't move
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines;
No one is there.
Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear,
I thought that you'd want what I want,
Sorry my dear
But where are the clowns
There ought to be clowns
Quick send in the clowns
What a surprise!
Who could foresee
I'd come to feel about you
What you felt about me?
Why only now when I see
That you've drifted away?
What a surprise...
What a cliche'...
Isn't it rich, isn't it queer
Losing my timing this late in my career
And where are the clowns
Quick send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.
Isn't it rich, are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Isn't it bliss, don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around
One who can't move
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours.
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines;
No one is there.
Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear,
I thought that you'd want what I want,
Sorry my dear
But where are the clowns
There ought to be clowns
Quick send in the clowns
What a surprise!
Who could foresee
I'd come to feel about you
What you felt about me?
Why only now when I see
That you've drifted away?
What a surprise...
What a cliche'...
Isn't it rich, isn't it queer
Losing my timing this late in my career
And where are the clowns
Quick send in the clowns
Don't bother, they're here.
make that 4 ... I hit 4 AM
big spurs match
wild party upstairs till 3:30
called 911 ... only thing that came out of That was a 15 mind pause. Quite like I had died and they "observed a moments silence" or something
this gets pissing off-er and pissing off-er ... Im beginning to feel like the chinaman above holly dl's apt
anyway ... I studied till 4 last night and sitting through a Killer day at work
with assorted problems like dlls that refuse to get registered bcz they are not binary compatible ... (yuck! how would I know I had to set something right at the beginning ... Im a plain jane mainframe kid, no?) and abending jobs with tape positioning errors ... my brains are totally scrambled
brilliant! Another whopper of a day ....
big spurs match
wild party upstairs till 3:30
called 911 ... only thing that came out of That was a 15 mind pause. Quite like I had died and they "observed a moments silence" or something
this gets pissing off-er and pissing off-er ... Im beginning to feel like the chinaman above holly dl's apt
anyway ... I studied till 4 last night and sitting through a Killer day at work
with assorted problems like dlls that refuse to get registered bcz they are not binary compatible ... (yuck! how would I know I had to set something right at the beginning ... Im a plain jane mainframe kid, no?) and abending jobs with tape positioning errors ... my brains are totally scrambled
brilliant! Another whopper of a day ....
NEW LOVE OF MY LIFE ...
i used to be sad bcz I cud not find my usual ristretto anywhere here but now I discovered a new love at starbucks ... 3ple shot espresso on the rocks ... Its Groooooovy Baby :)
Was up till 2:30 last night again - that makes it 2 nights in a row of sleeping at 3 after one night of being up allnight ... well so much for early birds
I have a feeling Im gonna fluck this bloody exam in spite of all that ... jeez what stuff man!
Quality is a journey not a destination ... and the destination is customer satisfaction ... BULL & CRAP ... but however much I studty thats all I remember ... for the rest my head is just a mad jumble of headings - Cust gap / Prod Gap / CMM ? Bald F Ridge ... waaaaaaaaaah - God save me from the CSQA
i used to be sad bcz I cud not find my usual ristretto anywhere here but now I discovered a new love at starbucks ... 3ple shot espresso on the rocks ... Its Groooooovy Baby :)
Was up till 2:30 last night again - that makes it 2 nights in a row of sleeping at 3 after one night of being up allnight ... well so much for early birds
I have a feeling Im gonna fluck this bloody exam in spite of all that ... jeez what stuff man!
Quality is a journey not a destination ... and the destination is customer satisfaction ... BULL & CRAP ... but however much I studty thats all I remember ... for the rest my head is just a mad jumble of headings - Cust gap / Prod Gap / CMM ? Bald F Ridge ... waaaaaaaaaah - God save me from the CSQA
blimeywhaddaday!
woke up at 12
studying for that blasted exam till 3
ate lunch
then I had promised a friend who is fast approaching harakiri time (he getting married necxt month)
that I would take him shopping for a few things he wanted 2 buy for madame
he ended up winding up in 50 bucks or so
BUT I BLEW UP not just my whole evening but 180 bloody bucks!
OH MAN!
anyway - no regrets - nice stuff
awesome beige shoes - seven floor high heels
nice brown shirt - simple - mannish cut - in crushed suede ... so soft you feel like going to sleep in it :)
and a very conservative office shirt in green and white
and a nice little t shirt ... cute
and here comes the worst part - i picked up this awesome set of make up from channel
nice - very nice - but Frightfully expensive
If I go on like this Ill be back in broke land again
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgh!
Saw Gangs Of New York
Great Fast Bloody Gruesome ... Interesting
For a review - check out my review blog ................ eeeeeeeeeeeeenjoY!
woke up at 12
studying for that blasted exam till 3
ate lunch
then I had promised a friend who is fast approaching harakiri time (he getting married necxt month)
that I would take him shopping for a few things he wanted 2 buy for madame
he ended up winding up in 50 bucks or so
BUT I BLEW UP not just my whole evening but 180 bloody bucks!
OH MAN!
anyway - no regrets - nice stuff
awesome beige shoes - seven floor high heels
nice brown shirt - simple - mannish cut - in crushed suede ... so soft you feel like going to sleep in it :)
and a very conservative office shirt in green and white
and a nice little t shirt ... cute
and here comes the worst part - i picked up this awesome set of make up from channel
nice - very nice - but Frightfully expensive
If I go on like this Ill be back in broke land again
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgh!
Saw Gangs Of New York
Great Fast Bloody Gruesome ... Interesting
For a review - check out my review blog ................ eeeeeeeeeeeeenjoY!