Ricercar

why is it that fake love looks so much like love

i told myself i did not want the moon, just a little glimpse and thought i'd capture an image forever but even that was n...

It's that time of year: days are short and nights are long. Perhaps it is in these long stretches of darkness that we feel our mortalit...

When I had you, I was so lost in you that I was blind to the world. When I lost you, I was so drowned by the shock, that I was deaf. Now I...

I don’t know what hunger or tiredness feels like to you. Personally, I can go for days with little food or sleep. And you don’t know wha...

i had been so long with my opiates that i thought my pain was gone but it rained. and someone brought news from home and there i was, as fr...

funny how life goes. I found this old blog post from 2005. It ends saying another year is over, who knows what the next year will bring. I...

oday I went to a meetup group in san francisco that reads hindi and urdu poems together. it was spectacularly fun. like the tag line of me...

We went for the Durga Pujo at some California suburb. Wandering about in San Francisco, where I dont know a soul except my husband and ha...

Pujo. Crowds. Sari's and Jewelry. Beautiful laughing children. Young couplE looking for a perfect selfie shot. Later I see her stare...

i have so much, i feel like i am suffocating and yet i feel bereft i have walked for miles and miles and still i could not escape my she...

there is an a point where all things come to an end threats. one-up-manship. knee jerk reactions. spiralling escalations even for vishnu-sh...

To: The world Re: Photo of boy from war-torn Syria When I see you crying over the photo of boy from war-torn Syria I feel more wonderful...

justice does not concern me anymore because as my days grow fewer in number, i have lost interest in accounts and record keeping of...

i know that I am not what I look, but what I feel inside also, i am told i am not what I feel inside, but what i do lately i have...

i cant think of anything to write but i will try my soul has congealed in the heat and city has gone to sleep like a pant...

Every day I force myself to write something, whatever it may be. I want to write something from my heart, something that is true, I want ...

there is a friend, the view from who's house never fails to disarm me. i wish i never had to go. in the middle of a party on the terrac...

in some ways losing someone is like an accident. weather it is a lover, a friend, a partner or a parent - you could get over it to some var...

i thought depression was a bottomless pit of numbness. but the darkness is pierced by nameless dreads and burning anger the dog follows ...

before, when I lived alone, my life was kind of empty maybe, like a modern european apartment in spare whites i had few intimate friend...

how do you reach out to someone you have not spoken to in a decade and say hey listen, i need to let you go and move on. how do you say go...

In your childhood you learn about life and how to go about it, in a language that had its own syntax and vocabulary. When you immi...

i am walking around the garden path around the self-centric palace of my mind, and talking to me and myself. I am trying understand why I f...

What is the difference between happiness and joy? 

This was the last fictional book I read - its been a while. It was surreal reading it at a time of the refuge crisis, immigration debates a...

She had asked me for money that day. It was sudden. I didn't know what to say. I said nothing. But the silence could only be a negative...

Calcutta Edinburgh Halep ... So homesick but I suspect the places I long for don't exist outside my memories. Home is just a f...

Cal sick. There is a rubber band stuck between me and my city, my lakes, my gariahat and the grins and horns and tragi-comic-melod...

Where I am from, sometimes its okay to make fun of people - even those you love, especially when they are trying hard. Somewhere humor cro...

The land of dreams. The imaginary home. Where we come from. And where we are headed. Where we are as innocent and brave as children. Where h...

What is love but an excuse for verbal gymnastics and dancing on the hyperbole 

age is just a number. and a number has nothing to do with it. but there may be a point in your life when it sinks in, that time is passing....

How do I do a seven hour commute? I take the train - it runs along the coast. Whenever I look out of the window, the water and the sky seem...

six cups of green tea and 6 miles at 4AM for health. 3 cups of coffee to wake up. 6 glasses of water to stay hydrated. just one cup of chil...

It's a mad mad world from a dystopia novel. The news seems more surreal every time I look around

we almost always fixate more on emotionally salient information. That is the whole point of it. The salience may vary depending on how much...

Everything is like sand. you cannot to hold on to anything. and even your grip weakens. you cannot hold on even to holding on. those who lo...

and yet, life is beautiful

Whats love got to do with it. All of these years we live; all of the things we do and the emotions we feel. It all feels so fragile and so ...

hell is a place you go on forever with a broken heart they lie who tell you that you need a warm heart to survive you can limp along just...

I fell in love with a strange land. One day, it went back to its people, And I was banished I wandered, in my heart, I was happy w...

distraught and distracted as i have been about my father the last few days, i heard the news and i could not help compare the feelings i ha...

Somethings in life I knew I should not have done, and that I would pay for l them terribly - but I did them anyway. And had no regrets - be...

I talk to you in my head all day Are these real conversations, from some other world Which we perhaps cohabit From the moment I wake up...

in the past I never thought about writing on the blog - I just wrote, and the words just came. But now that I have stopped and I think abou...

I had some bad news last night. First a mini-personal tragedy - a broken tooth - which seems silly in hindsight. And then at four in the mo...

I feel like I have three lives. Every now and then, in my present life, a memory from the past floats up to the surface of my consciousn...

there is faith and their is disappointment. and there is a vast chasm between. As he sat on the rock, Aritra thought about his constant cri...

perhaps in a dream or in another universe we will, once again seamlessly take up the life we once shared like a book, picked up at bent...